amazon, youuu...........

 I guess Amazon doesn't even WANT my money.
I just tried to sign in on my desktop and they are making it next to impossible.  They even outright told me "For a better experience, use your phone instead."  The only option from there was to click "Agree and continue".  Nope.
I don't really like buying from Amazon anyway but this just puts the nail in.
Just frrkit it/them.....

a little while ago....

It's already been almost 2 months since my last post.

I literally don't feel like I have anything to talk about.  I don't know why I'm even posting this.
Idk.  I guess it just comes with getting older.  Just run dry.  :/ 

A kindness

 Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken -

I don't think in Leviticus and Deuteronomy there is a single unilateral command against lying / dishonesty. He uses a lot of illustrations / examples of dishonesty but He doesn't ever outright say "Don't lie!". He says a lot of other things, some of them are a bit difficult to read. There's a chunk of text that explicitly lists a bunch of sexual sins to be avoided. But he seems a bit uneasy telling the people that lying is all around abhorrent.

 Now, later on, in Proverbs and the different bits of text where God is declaring judgement, He speaks vehemently about the evil of lying.

I personally think God didn't tell Israel "don't lie", because the people of Israel, at that point in time, were not known for being blatantly dishonest. Telling someone not to do something comes from the knowledge or the assumption at least that you think they're prone to that. And God does seem to have a degree of empathy for things like covetousness, since He gives the possibility of atonement for such sins, rather than the death penalty, and I think God was giving His laws in a respectful and compassionate manner, in line with His character, and one element of respect is to at the very least not undermine areas where a person is doing alright. He told them not to use false scales and pervert justice because those things are brought on by covetousness, not necessarily idolatry or unbelief. And as you can see later on in The Bible, those laws were so desperately needed yet ignored, which, of course, IS idolatry. Covetousness is feeling like you don't have enough. I think we've all been at the place where we don't have enough. We are commanded to be content with just enough, but that is not the life God ultimately wants for us. We are living here, on earth. The earth is cursed, because of our ancestor's sin, which we have been known, collectively, to unashamedly partake in. If we cannot accept this relatively light consequence of our sin, how can we even honestly say that we believe God is good, even in His judgements? There are people who are and will be in Hell for eternity. Let's not grumble about the fact we don't have everything we (think we) want. That will come later.

But anyway... just ruminating... maybe I'm totally off base on this... Idk.  Seems like I was going to add another paragraph but I can't think of what it might have been 

mudstruck ( fiction )

 As midnight approached and I felt the weight of my doom sinking into me more and more so, I prayed to The LORD Almighty, and asked that He would save me, rescue me, from this callousness of mind, this flippancy toward His commands, the coldheartedness with which I looked at the atonement of my sin, the life and death of Christ Jesus.

As the dawn approached, I felt my flesh cool.  A last minute nighttime breeze passed through me, and the 95 degree heat abated.

A few hours later, I heard my mother, approaching 70, wailing in agony.  I stood at the bedpost looking upon her, sobbing myself, and figuring this was bound to happen.  I wanted to hug her and comfort her, but the reality she was facing was simply of no comfort.  Her son was dead.  She spent many days trying to persuade me to join the Faith, and not stay stuck in a life of meaninglessness and faithlessness.  A decade ago, as I was about 30 years old, her gentle persistency had paid off, and I came to the Faith.  Now, the fruits of my labor, if one could even call it that, mostly hers, her evangelism, sharing the Truth that she cherished herself, had come to fruition.  I was to be Home, taken to the city of my final destination.

As I watched on my all my sobbing family - my mom, sister, and in laws of my sister (I'd never married) - gathered around, my sister also weeping, understandably not as hard as my mom, the rest mostly just standing in dismay, I felt a presence behind me and its' voice protruding:

 "It is time to go."

"Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Romans 7:24

Atheism....

 This is a comment on a NYT article. I've seen people elsewhere say very similar things and I would have responded directly but comments had been closed.

"I wonder what Jesus might say if he could speak to evangelical "influencers" today like John Piper, who has sold over 50 books but refuses to critique the real evils in American society -- inequality, poverty, endless wars, racism, just to name a few."

Inequality is not an evil. You get what you pay for. If you're NOT getting what you paid for, maybe God has something different/better in store for you, and sometimes you might not really recognize what that is until you see Him face to face.

Racism means so many things, some of which are truly irrelevant. Apparently it's racist to call someone from China a "Chinaman". If by racism you mean having negative thoughts associated with certain skin colors, then that is simply a person trading thoughts of purity, excellence, etc for negative thoughts. The error in those thoughts obviously isn't good, any more so than it is to say Mel Gibson was in Ghostbusters. If you truly love your neighbor as yourself, then you don't need John Piper or anyone else to call you out on being racist.

I'm not sure why poverty is added as a separate thing by this person...

Endless wars are not a part of America society. We had two "endless" wars over a 75 year period. They were not a byproduct of American society. They were a byproduct of poor judgement, which is not unique to America, and is by no means a good thing, but harping on a person for one act of stupidity is like a game of whackamole. It's more efficient to get to the root of the problems. Pride is on overdrive in this nation, on a variety of fronts. Most of us are guilty like Solomon of abusing the bountiful gifts God has given us.

I have so many things I could add to this post but it was tiring enough typing all of this out.  Maybe later today.

conflict

I've been really conflicted about my intentions lately.  I always want to buy stuff, but I don't know what to buy.  I really like music, but most CDs are just not that great, and the ones I do really really do like are either out of print or they're so obscure they're on backorder.

pandora radio / pandora premium is insanely inexpensive.  I remember the days when I would have to alternate between FM radio and CDs because even after spending $30 on CDs, I would still get bored.  Even if that $30 was for 6 or 7 used CDs, I'd be bored with them before the month was over.
Now, I still get "bored", but I think that's up for debate.  There's times when I simply don't need to be listening to music or whatever, but I really can't think of anything else TO do.  That's just a byproduct of having way too much time on my hands, I think.
I was thinking what I would do if I got another credit card.  I honestly can't think of a single thing I would do with that money except maybe buy a new TV.  And I would simply not want to do that because everyone I know would be giving me so much shit over it.  So nevermind that.  Maybe some Ghostbusters collectibles, but, really?  Do I want them so bad that I would go into a year's worth of debt for that??  Doesn't quite balance out, as far as I can discern.
Overall, it'd be nice to have more money, but I need to just accept the fact that there's just no predictable way to make that happen.  I can't explain why work is not a viable option.  I try to and it just comes across like "Well, you're just a spoiled brat."  And maybe I am.  Maybe that's all it comes down to.  I don't know.  I'd prefer not to mess with crap and try to find out if I actually can make do in the work force.

Rats!!

 I was reading about this on the horizon virus.  And I do God Almighty disciplines people by sending down diseases of various sorts. I do think the AIDS scare of the 80s was sent in response to the growing number of homosexuals and general promiscuity, and that COVID19 was Him waging war with idols. Michael Crichton of course depersonalizes it, but in his book JURASSIC PARK, he describes some of the ways that God will have His way in the world irrespective of our made up expectations. Granted, the main premise of Jurassic Park was flawed and basically designed to be consumed like a campy horror movie, he packed a lot of worthwhile insights in there as well.

--When I say "He sent", I'm not talking about the specific people who have been afflicted with AIDS.  I know some people are born with AIDS.  I don't know why, any more than I understand why some people have schizophrenia or autism or die before they've had enough time to really live.  

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

Joy! To the World!!!

 It's unfortunate that so many modern recordings of truly joyful songs such as "Come All Ye Faithful" etc are so dour in their presentation.  It is sad that western culture has degraded to the extent it has, and that it's affected the church even, but there is plenty of opportunity to create music with theologically sound lyrics to reflect the times we live in.  Taking Christmas music and making it sad sounding is just...I'll just leave it there.  :/

Anxiety...all your cares

 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Matthew 6:34

That is so simple yet so utterly profound.  Much of The Bible ultimately is the same way, but I think this passage really stands out, probably because it's so urgently helpful.  Worry is arguably at least one of the most common and severe obstacles that stand in our way.  It's difficult, perhaps next to impossible, to stand with joy *and* anxiety.  At the very least one would need to switch between the two...  Maybe I'm just blown away by that because I have so much time on my hands that I find myself worrying way more than I ought to without even realizing it sometimes

3CD

https://www.discogs.com/release/2269579-Genesis-Trespass-Nursery-Cryme-Foxtrot
I was really eying this a few months ago.  It's out of print, and insanely expensive, most of the time.  Maybe if the powers that be would offer it for a reasonable price, like $30?.....  The original issues of the set are the ones I'd want.  The discs included are unremastered.  The remastered set has modified packaging that just looks lame.

  I don't always mind un-re-mastered albums, but this is one case where the remaster was much welcome.  The first second or two of "Watcher Of The Skies" (Foxtrot) is like a pause, which if you've never ever heard the album before, or just aren't into it, then it probably doesn't matter.  But, for reasons I make absolutely no claim of understanding, it just helps the flow of the song.
However, 99.999% of the time I just am not interested in listening to Foxtrot.  It starts out really good.  The opener is classic Genesis.  However, there are two songs that are pure filler.  And then there's another song, track #4, that I really like, but by the time it's over, there's track #5, which is pure filler, and then this gargantuan song carries the second half of the album.  It's a cool song, but what the heck??  It's way too slow at parts, and then it picks up a little bit, but not enough.  Maybe I'm just bored with it.  "Watcher Of The Skies" and "Get 'Em Out By Friday" are solid gold.  "Get 'Em Out By Friday" is in a lot of ways like a condensed version of "Supper's Ready".  Lyrically, it's a lot easier to figure out what he's singing about, which helps a little.  And then Trespass is pretty cool, but it seems kinda like they accomplish most of what they did on Trespass more succinctly on Nursery Cryme.  But I guess sometimes the unsuccintness has its appeal...  I don't dislike Foxtrot, but I don't think I have any reason to have it in my collection.  It would be kinda cool to have it alongside Trespass and Nursery Cryme, tho.  Definitely not paying $30 plus international shipping.