The Oracle Speaks!

For the last month apprx my computer has had serious trouble streaming on demand music from the 'net.  I kept wondering "is it just these freebie sites" [such as Grooveshark and MySpace]?  I wondered "would these problems exist if I paid for Rdio?"
  Today I found my answer.  I took a gamble and it has paid off.  I am now listening to Emerson Lake And Palmer's "Welcome Back My Friends To The Show That Never Ends, Ladies and Gentleman" (a double live album, formerly a triple live album before the rise of compact digital audio discs).
  So far it's been just that and New Order's "Low-Life", the 2008 remastered version.  I was surfing through Big Crumbs' list of stores in the music/books/etc. dept and noticed CD Connection on there, who, I thought, had MP3s as part of their offering.  What really sealed me buying from them was A) I had not bought from there before and B) the cash back rate was comparatively higher than other BC offerings - 5.6% - !!!  The suky thing is the version of "Low-Life" I ended up downloading was not the 2008 remastered edition, which means it's kinda flat sounding, the opening song doesn't have the drum-boom-kick that the remaster has.  And now I'm left with $1.60 for the rest of the month.  I already got most of my Xmas shopping done.  I am expecting an Amazon gift card in the amount of $19.68 and another in the amount of $5 and I'll use that to buy my mom's xmas gift.  With Rdio and the public library just down the street from where I live, I really don't need anything else...$1.60 is fine by me.  I also ended up with a $3.85 refund from a CD that arrived in not-as-described condition, although I had hacked my account down to $1.60 before I knew to expect the refund.  Mail didn't arrive 'til after 3pm.  It was a substitute mailman, not sure what's going on with the one that normally delivers to my address.  I noticed the same thing would happen at my old apt, but I figured that was b/c he was approaching retirement age and they were giving him an easier time with hours.  Now that I think of it, they probably don't want their mail carriers to be working even 4 days a week, since their shift sometimes ends after 3pm and they clock in before 7am normally.  I think it's actually closer to 5am, so that's 10 hours a day x 6 which is a lot of over time for the USPS to be putting in considering they're in debt anywayz...they'd probably give him 3-4 days off a week if they had enough employees to go around.  Last  I heard, which was about 5 years ago and may no longer apply, but, last I heard, the USPS has/had a serious shortage of mail carriers, at least in this area, southeast MO.
  I would stop tying now, but for the sake of sounding less crazy, I'll instead stop typing - now.

Happy Birthday...to myself...and others...

Wow.

My uncle Eddie gave me $20 for my birthday.  The crazy-cool thing is his birthday was a couple weeks before mine and he didn't seem the least bit fazed that I didn't get him anything.

My mother got me some shoes.  It's week #2 and they seem to be doing well.  I'm hard on shoes, so my mother says, and so week 2 is a start...they feel sturdy though, honestly...it's hard to tell though, my $15 WalMart shoes lasted only 6 months and might have felt this same way...

My gramma took me and my two uncles out to eat at a Casino buffet.  The food was Ok in general, I seem to be the only person there who didn't care for the steak.  I pretty much pigged out on egg rolls, which were amazing.

My sister gave me $29 in Amazon funds, which I spent on E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial and a movie I had been wanting to see but am too much of a wuss to rent as a new release and am too impatient to wait for it to go into the old release section, neither of which matters b/c it was on super-sale, $8.99 + $2 S&H ($11), and I can probably/maybe get $7 or $8 from it after I'm done w/ it, since the sale won't last forever, you know.  Plus I don't have to worry about late fees 'cause I OWN this thing, beach!  I also used $9 of it to buy an mp3 album that I wasn't able to listen to entirely for free online b/c my internet seems unfit for streaming music as of late.  It can do OK for like a minute or maybe two.  Different websites I visit have different settings and such, so it may be OK if I subscribe to Rdio again...dunno.  Oh, and I also bought two songs by Deftones.

The money Eddie gave me is in my mom's possession until she actually HAS the $...in other words, she owes me about half of it b/c the household funds somehow ran out too quickly for all the RX needed to be had w/o any glitches...the rest of it I spent at Hastings on a CD that I SWEAR (for the 5th? time) that I won't re-sell (for the 15th time) and a movie rental?....or...ugh...what was that?  OH!  Yeah, I bought a movie that was on clearance, it might be an old release by now, bought & paid for price was $2.13 w/ tax ($1.99 w/o).  Still hoping someone buys it from me via Amazon eventually, since I watched all I care to see of it already.  Plus I bought a portable bottle opener, which was intended I guess to act as a keychain.  I had to take the keychain part of it off though so I could affix the bottle opener part to my existing - and absolutely fantastic! - GHOSTBUSTERS: THE VIDEO GAME keychain that I got at Hastings as a freebie/promo...thank goodness my sister noticed it, b/c I just walked right past it...they had a pile of 'em sitting beside the door...it made it so much easier to live down the fact that I paid almost $17 just to have a cool looking thingie to put my money & state issued photo ID in, that cool looking thingie, for those not in the know, being a GHOSTBUSTERS wallet that I had bought at GameStop during the GHOSTBUSTERS: THE VIDEO GAME fever of 2009.  And THANK YOU PROTONCHARGING (R.I.P.) for letting me know it was there(!)

I bought something on eBid so that I could get some feedback added to my profile.  I originally came to eBid  so I could buy A CLOCKWORK ORANGE for the best price I could find at the time.  I now have been trying w/ no success to make some money from selling on eBid.  I think my lack of feedback might look suspicious to a lot of people.  But I'll probably end up selling what I bought, thankfully it was only $3.75.  Could have been bought for $0.76 cheaper on Amazon, but who cares and if so, whatever...i don't...that $0.76 would have just been wasted on another item.  Or it would add a tiny bit to my so-far-nonexistent savings fund for the TV I mentioned in my justnow prior post.

The Joy Of Welfare Christmas

Me and my sister have been talking since yesterday about how I want a TV and she might or might not buy me one.  Somehow the concept of me saving up came to up, I guess I was writing to her down what had already been on my mind for a few weeks...I mean, $178, which is what Amazon charges for a 24" Vizio, is really not hard to save up.  I only have $75 after bills and needs of other sorts are paid, but the fact is I should already own a TV of some kind other than the 14" "standard" definition TV my Gramma has loaned/given me...$178 is actually only $22 less than several other 24" TVs, although Vizio seems to make good quality merch and from what I've read seems to have good warranty service as well.  So for what I'm hoping to get, it's a steal at $178.  And 24" isn't all that big, but my room is tiny.  It probably seems smaller b/c my TV and DVD player etc. are sitting on this humongous table...my mom offered to buy me a double bed and I was like "It wouldn't fit!" and was like "uh...ok".

Anyway; it's frustrating b/c I'll have to wait 'til at least February to start putting this plan in motion.  I figure I can save AT LEAST $25 a month, and maybe even $50.  That leaves me with $25-$50 for spending on whatever.  But, as I was telling my sister, I pretty much wasted $700 through the course of this year.  And that's only if you count the money I initially get on the 1st of the month.  If you count the money I got from the stuff I sold, that's probably closer to $1000.

I need to stop this.

I need to appreciate what I have, and if I can't appreciate what I have I need to turn what I have into something else, either someone else's money or savings.

Man up, I say to myself.

Hopefully I can live it out and keep on doing so until I have a frekin' TV.

WHAT DOES ANYTHING MEAN? Basically

I bought a deluxe (2CD) edition of an obscure yet beloved-by-those-in-the-know band from the 80's on Saturday (?or was it Sunday?) for $1.00 + $2.98 S&H.  I figured that was an error - the CD usually goes for at least 10x that $ amount.  Seller cancelled the order today.  I wouldn't have been able to buy it in the first place if my Mom hadn't loaned me the $3.98 needed 4 it.  IF - a big if - the seller had shipped it, and I had opened it and used it, I could still get 115% or more of what I paid for it back at me.  If I had decided NOT to open it and use it I could have almost certainly get at least 135% back.

But probably is now a certainty.  Seller cancelled.

Now I have $3.98 to spend on whatever.  There's a 2 disc edition of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, probably a Canadian release, idk, being sold for $5.25 apprx w/ S&H - BRAND NEW(!!!) on the Amazon Marketplace.  I think that movie is awesome like no other movie.  As to weather or not I would pay $10++ for that movie, it would depend on what I felt like doing at the time in which I were able to afford it, because I don't really forsee myself watching it again anytime soon.  I've seen that movie like 10 times at least since I first saw it as a teenager, 16 or 17, can't remember for sure.  I'm 28 now.  I might see it again in like 2 or 3 years, but $10 is a big chunk of $ out of my sub$100 disposable income for something that could most certainly wait 'til at least January.  I'll probably start buying Christmas presents in November after all anyway.

No, But Seriously...It's gonna be bigger than a microchip...

I bought SERIOUS HITS...LIVE! by Phil Collins (it's called that b/c the album is taken from a concert performed during the ...BUT SERIOUSLY tour)about a month ago...give or take a week...idk...I've been listening to it ever so willfully whenever my computer is off for the last few days; a lot of music I put on and don't really "feel" it, it's just there for noise, perhaps providing a very mild stimulation.  And this was one of those CDs.  But I'm glad I have it at the moment...then I'll forget how sweet it was to own this and sell it...baewhg!
I kinda feel dumb having bought FACE VALUE

earlier this week, with my B&N gift card (reward from MyPoints).  I have $3.26 left on the card, once I get a stamp I will mail it to a gift card exchange service known as ABC gift cards, for $2.50 cash.  I have owed my bank $3.09 for the last few days, b/c I bought some diet A&W root beer at a convenience store for probably $1.50 more than it would have cost to get it from a grocery store not too terribly farther away...I don't like to go to the grocery store in question, Schnucks, by foot b/c there's a busy street in between it and the shopping center where Hastings is located.  Plus I would have had to carry the soda on that street, and on the rest of the way home.  It was 12pk of cans, BTW, they stay fresher longer and taste better, IMO.
  But anyway - yep.  I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how to repay my bank.  I walked to Hastings this evening; finally have all that is needed to repay my bank, buy a stamp AND repay The Book Rack for the $0.4someodd tax I didn't pay for a book I bought with store credit.  Except...buying a stamp is not necessary, just would like to do that since I honestly cannot think of any good way to spend money at BN.com or their brick & mortar stores.  BN.com has numerous reports of ghastly customer dissatisfaction on sites like Reseller Ratings, although they seem to respond appropriately to complaints submitted through the Better Business Bureau, which is more than can be said for some sites, such as the exclusive distributors of the Genesis "Encore Series"-- TheMusic.com (TheMusic.com has a grade of "F" [the lowest] for 2 complaints that went completely ignored by TheMusic).
Speaking of which, I'm dealing with the BBB trying to get a payment refunded for something that was inappropriately solicited to me.  Saveology.com - who is BBB accredited, which gives me some hope - offered me a Papa John's Pizza gift card at 50% off, which I had to call to redeem, so it could be mailed to me, and during the phone call, without any prompting, the person on the phone asked me if I would like to receive a $100 reward card for $4.95.  She did not explain the nature of this reward card, so I just thought it was like a prepaid Visa card given as a reward for signing up for Magazine subscriptions, which I was told about after I asked her what the catch was, which I did when I was in the midst of walking toward my wallet to whip out my debit card.  When I tried to get my money back, the person (a different one, i think) tried and tried and tried to make me want to pay for magazines that I didn't ever want, and didn't seem to get that I wanted my freakin' $4.95 back until after she got the hint that I didn't want to pay ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THE FREAKIN' PAPA JOHNS GIFT CARD THAT I WAS OFFERED VIA EMAIL, WITHOUT ANY WARNING OF THERE BEING ANY STRINGS ATTACHED!  Of course, it was my choice to pay the freakin' $4.95, and I probably should have known better, but what world would we have if everyone assumed the worst?
 
Anyway...sigh...seems like there might have been something else to write about...I'm sick and tired, mostly tired...I might go to bed....bzzzzzz...shouldn't be so tired at 9pm.  Fudd...

Curled Up Deep Down In A Hole

Do you love yourself?  If not, you can't love another.
I do not love myself.
I do not know what love is.
How did I get so heartless?
No.
I have heart
It's just not standing up straight
It's curled up like a baby
The thought of unwinding it sickens me
It scares me

The sky is hovering above me, it goes unnoticed 99.9% of the time
There's a voice in it though, I hear it in me
It keeps waiting for the rain in my head to let up
It keeps wishing I were someone else
Someone less sick
Or is that just my own mind working against me?

food vs. music

FOOD
Pros:
It makes your brain able to appreciate music
It makes your heart function better
It makes you better able to appreciate God
Cons:
Too much can make you fat, f*** your brain and heart up, and in turn do the same to the rest of you and eventually kill you, or make you wish you were dead

MUSIC
Pros:
It makes one (such as me) feel more aware of their emotions/mental state
Cons:
Too much can make you think too much of mankind, and get you wrapped up in your own mind.

SUMMARY
I'm crazy, so it makes sense that I would not follow through with the logical conclusion (??)

Damn.

almost not noteworthy things that happened this past Friday

I took a dump FOUR times from 12PM-12AM.
I went to bed at 1:45am
I had the most awesome time listening to SLEEPLESS NIGHTS by Rediscover.
I had the most gawdawful time trying to install AVG AntiVirus Free 2013, and never did get it going...
I felt a strong yearning for a decked out Christmas house, with candles, sweaters, and hot chocolate that doesn't come in a plain Hershey's baking cocoa container.

Today I hope to listen to SLEEPLESS NIGHTS again, and yearn some more for a decked out Xmas house.

~JWC

Yeah...that'd be much too vulgar display of power...

My computer has been giving me a mountainous hard-time.  I've spent the last 2-3 hours trying to listen to U218 Singles by U2 on MySpace.  Actually, the last 40 minutes I've been feeding the cats, eating dinner and chit-chatting with my mother.  Meanwhile my MalWare scanner turned up nothing.  Grrg.

gaining on it...um....

The belt stabbing-accessory (whatever it's actually called) won't go through all the holes in my belt - unless I've lost weight since yesterday.  I haven't tested it today.  I had 2 1/3 servings of Oreo cookies PLUS a serving of pancake mix and my usual helping of sandwiches...total fat gram intake was probably about 30.  Carbs?  Probably about 200...maybe closer to 150...I walked to the library, took apprx 20 minutes...

I blew off brushing my teeth yesterday.  I did brush the day before yesterday.  The day before that I didn't.  The day before that I brushed twice...ughmm...

On the plus side I washed clothes yesterday.  I didn't finish my whites.  I had to start the washing machine on them twice, b/c I think I forgot to put soap/bleach in that load the first time around.  I started it again this morning a couple hours ago, should be done by now, I'll have to put them in the dryer whenever the heck I get around to it...although my Gramma should be coming over to clean the upstairs living space for my mom, since I'm good for nothing...

I revised what was five pages of a screenplay I've been working on sporadically for over a decade.  It's now four pages.  I need to add 86 more pages.  If I don't, submitting it to an agent would be almost pointless, and submitting to Richard Walter, a prestigious screenwriting professor at UCLA, which would be much easier, since I already have a vague idea of how to get in contact with him, would be even more pointless.  If I go the agent route, I'll have to figure out which agent to submit the screenplay to, and if I did that, it's possible they may read it regardless of length, and if it's not good enough, someone else can maybe flesh it out more.  But I'm not even sure that's possible.  This isn't a story based screenplay, it's more like a collection of dreams.  If it had a worthwhile story, I could write it as a book and at least get something done with it, since a book would make it easier to write.  A screenplay HAS to be clear, with minimal to no typos, and what I say has to be concise and clear in order for someone to take what's on the page and put it on film.  A book doesn't even have to have logical sentences.  You can take what may or may not be a coherent/logical sentence and stretch it out to three pages if it's good enough, like poetry or something.  You can go off on theological tangents that have nothing to do with "the plot" and yet it still ties in with it and so what if nobody cares?  It's a book, so it's a lot less expensive than a movie along these lines would be, and the market for that kind of stuff is big enough for the publisher and myself to make at least a bit of pocket change.  But I'm so ill-versed on books, I may very well be ripping off NAKED LUNCH and not even know it.  I've read like almost 30 pages of J.G. Ballard's CONCRETE ISLAND, not sure if I'll finish it, and I've been immensely enjoying the time I've spent with Elliot Perlman's SEVEN TYPES OF AMBIGUITY, but it's taking me half an eternity to finish it.  I might be done with it when I'm like 32 (I'm sorta-almost 29 as I write this).  I've been reading it for...a year?  At least...

I should quit going on about all this and write some more of it.  It's been awhile since I posted anything here though and this is a blog, not a quarterly magazine, so anything that goes on in my daily life should be posted here.  I always wonder with these quarterly magazines, such as the now-defunct and short lived WICKED - what are they doing???  You know why I never knew what they were doing that was taking so much time?  Because I didn't read their blog!!!

So here's my half-arred attempt to catch you all up to speed.  Not that anyone's reading this...or...?  Idk...every month I get almost 100 views, don't know if those are accidents or what...