(shaking) "They left me, they left me!" (Another Speilberg quote-parody)

My mom and sis are off to see the wiz.  They left me behind in the sun to die!
I feel a strong communication going on here...am i wrong? I think I'm wrong...no, seriously, I have THREE Swagstakes I'm vying for.  I GOTTA WIN AT LEAST ONE OF 'EM FOR CYRING OUT LOUD!  All together I've invested at least real close to 1,000 Swagbucks on these stupid Swagstakes.  And for what?  Nuthin'!  SPHITZ!  You hear that?  SPHITZ!  that's a pellet gun spat-spat-spat, kirk yer in the err.
grrraaaa...
godde, I gotta take my pills.  My teeth are trying to escape.  WEEEOOOOYAHAHA!  O gosh, and my voice...

bwahahaha!

It was NOTHING LIKE THAT, P. Bread!

Had a wonderful morning so far. Downstairs, alone, basking in the afterglow of it, as I type this.  My computer isn't getting the hang of streaming my music 2 meee, but it's a nice morning.  My sis arrived Saturday evening, this day we went to Starbucks and got a drink for her myself and Mumsy, and on the way back dropped by Panera Bread and got each of ourselves a soufle.  Came back, and talked a bit.  Just found out my cousin Barbie is 1 month pregnant.  I hope its childhood is better than Barbie's was.  Barbie seemed to be in disgust of her mother up until she died of liver failure, and for whatever reason doesn't feel the need to keep from making the bad choices that led to her mother's demise.  I know things happen, but how is this child going to stay alive?  I guess it'll be an accumulative effort.  Our grandmother, Barbie's would-be mother in-law, and Barbie's long-term(?) boyfriend hopefully will collectively be able to afford to feed clothe and shelter it and maybe even buy it some nicities (toys or whatever).  I'm sure Barbie will apply for food stamps for the child, which isn't a huge deal from what I can tell.  A life on welfare is no picknik and I hope it doesn't come to that.  My home state - Missouri - is on good financial track, so welfare or no welfare, we got it covered.  The state of California does need to gets its shitt together, 'cause the fed gov' has no business bailing all the individual states out of their bull on top of paying for its own b.s.
But anyway.
Sun is shining, cold as all hellk, but all in all, so far, (only 10:09 AM, so there's still time to kill and/or be killed), a very nice day.

Music & Me: A Legacy Of Self Involvement

& here's my music "shelf":

1. All Time Low - Put Up Or Shut Up
2. American Football - s/t
3. Blink 182 - s/t
4. Jackson Browne - The Next Voice You Hear: The Best Of
5. Phil Collins - Both Sides
6. The Cranberries - No Need To Argue
7. Crash Test Dummies - God Shuffled His Feet
8. The Cure - Pornography
9. Dashboard Confessional - The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
10. The Fray - How To Save A Life
11. Peter Gabriel - Security
12. Genesis - s/t
13. Genesis - Invisible Touch
14. The Get Up Kids - Something To Write Home About
15. Goo Goo Dolls - A Boy Named Goo
16. Hidden In Plain View - Resolution
17. Idlewild - The Remote Part
18. Michael Jackson - Bad
19. Last Winter - The Heart And The Broken Compass
20. Avril Lavigne - Let Go
21. Aimee Mann - The Forgotten Arm
22. A Moment's Worth - Start Where You Are
23. Number One Fan - Compromises
24. Oingo Boingo - Dark At The End Of The Tunnel
25. Oingo Boingo - Nothing To Fear
26. Oingo Boingo - Skeletons In The Closet: The Best Of
27. R.E.M. - Murmur
28. Saves The Day - Stay What You Are
29. The Starting Line - Say It Like You Mean It
30. Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends
31. Toto - Toto IV
32. Trespassers William - Having
33. We Are The In Crowd - Guaranteed To Disagree

If my bookshelf were 6" tall x wide, it'd be full!

1. God - The Holy Bible
2. J.G. Ballard - Crash
3. Raymond Carver - Where I'm Calling From: Selected Stories
4. J.M. Coetzee - Disgrace
5. Michael Crichton - Jurassic Park
6. Cormac McCarthy - The Road
7. Patrick McGrath - Dr. Haggard's Disease
8. Elliot Perlman - Seven Types Of Ambiguity
9. Don Shay - Making of Ghostbusters
10. Benjamin Weissman - Dear Dead Person

Haven't read most of these, and there's probably a bunch of others I may add if I ever finish these...
A few that come to mind are MAY WE BE FORGIVEN (A.M. Homes) (currently reading, sorta; it's the last thing i picked up, almost a week ago), COWS (Matthew Stokoe) (out of print and ludicriously expensive...)

My movie shelf, on the other hand:

1. A.I.: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
2. BEING THERE
3. BRINGING OUT THE DEAD
4. CANDYMAN
5. CARRIE (1976)
6. CLOCKERS
7. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
8. THE DARK KNIGHT TRILOGY
9. END OF DAYS
10. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER
11. FORREST GUMP
12. FROM HELL (2000)
13. GHOSTBUSTERS
14. GHOSTBUSTERS II
15. THE GOLDEN CHILD
16. THE GREEN MILE
17. GROUNDHOG DAY
18. HEATHERS
19. HELLRAISER
20. HELLRAISER II (HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II)
21. THE LAST UNICORN
22. NOWHERE
23. PANIC
24. QUILLS
25. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM
26. SHORT CIRCUIT
27. SINGLES (1992)
28. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
29. THE TERMINATOR
30. TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
31. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
32. THREE TO TANGO
33. 12 ANGRY MEN (1957)
34. WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE?

Yep.  I's illiterate.

Headlines of Headliners

THE BEST OF THE UNTITLED DECADE (2000-2009)

TAKING BACK SUNDAY - TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL - THE PLACES YOU HAVE COME TO FEAR THE MOST
AVRIL LAVIGNE - LET GO
AIMEE MANN - THE FORGOTTEN ARM
THE FRAY - HOW TO SAVE A LIFE
PARAMORE - RIOT!
OWL CITY - OCEAN EYES

Boo-yah!

THE BEST OF THE CURRENT ONE (SO FAR)

Um...?  I'm drawing a blank...don't know if that's b/c this decade is so spread out between so many fragments or b/c all the "big names" in music are all new incarnations of Madonna/NKOTB...my mom was channel surfing and I heard some talk show people saying something about Lorde having a questionably large qty of nominations, and I don't think too much of the song "Tennis Court", which opens up her PURE HEROINE album.  Lana Del Ray BORN TO DIE seems to be a staple of the current decade, and the first two songs in the album's presented sequence are so-so, the 3rd song just kinda drolls on, while its lyrics strike me as being a re-hash of track 2.  Guess the modern music scene is just too flowery for my ear-buds.  Mumford & Sons, who are pretty big these days, are basically folk-rock and I don't like folk music, although some folk-rock bands/artists have had an appealing [imo] song or two here and there (i.e.: Suzanne Vega's "Luka", although the album that song came off of was kinda synth heavy if the other two songs I've heard from it are any indication [never listened to, or tried to listen to, the whole thing]).  I've kinda given up on today's pop music.  Miley Cyrus' BANGERZ has too many dull moments, the new Avril Lavigne CD is probably the most refreshing thing she's done since 2004's UNDER MY SKIN, but the emotional substance of her debut, and to a lesser extent her aforementioned follow-up (2004's UNDER MY SKIN), is almost vanished.  It feels more like a synth-heavy version of 2007's THE BEST DAMN THING, which is cool, since i prefer synth(s) over guitar(s), but the "airhead" factor is still problematic.  I did enjoy THE BONES OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE by alt-synthpop band CHVRCHES, albeit briefly...COM TRUISE made/makes similar music, without the discernable structure that makes such sweetly-toned music stick out in the listener's consciousness.  A lot of music that came out in 2009 and shortly after is still being found by me.  I just found out that metalcore band We Came As Romans are not all demonic-vocals and repetitive guitar-chunks.  Their 2011 album (follow-up to 2009's TO PLANT A SEED) UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE'VE GROWN TO BE is filled with actual singing, and little splashes of synth.  I guess you could count that as "current decade" music, but you know if I put that on a list of modern-day "best", 99/100 people will be like "wtf?".  And 999/1000 will just nod their head to say "I don't know how you came to that conclusion, but I hear you and there's no point in arguing", while the other 1/1000 people will either pump their fists in virtual victory or tell me I'm nuts for having closed my mind off to the possibilities of music.  And for what it's worth, I did not fully enjoy UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE'VE GROWN TO BE; the last 4 or 5 songs had my mind wandering to the point where i would check in every 5-10 minutes, and I still don't remember anything about over half the album.  The only songs I remember are the opening track, #2 and "Cast The First Stone".  Beyond that, the album was little more than white noise.  I do remember track #3 being sorta similar to the one that came before it.
I came across We Came As Romans 'cause I somehow found out of A Skylit Drive before they had released a full string of albums, and was hoping to find a band, or at least a good long string of songs, that captured the feeling of hearing A Skylit Drive back when they were a fairly new band with 2008's WIRES...AND THE CONCEPT OF BREATHING, which i find to be a very tedious listen most of the time lately.  I don't know what to make of A Day To Remember.  I liked HOMESICK and WHAT SEPARATES ME FROM YOU, I haven't had enough time with their current release (and Grooveshark has the songs uploaded all wonky) to make a decision regarding it.  But their first two albums from almost a decade ago sound like almost a different band.  What the heck?!

Here's my best attempt for the time being:
EMAROSA - EMAROSA
WE CAME AS ROMANS - UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE'VE GROWN TO BE
A SKYLIT DRIVE - IDENTITY ON FIRE
A DAY TO REMEMBER - WHAT SEPARATES ME FROM YOU
CHVRCHES - THE BONES OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE

Please be advised that not a single album on this "current decade" list means anything to me personally, which I cannot say of the 1990's or the decade that came after it.

BEST OF THE 1990'S (IMO)
R.E.M. - AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE
LIVE - THROWING COPPER
MARILYN MANSON - ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR
PHIL COLLINS - BOTH SIDES
THE CRANBERRIES - NO NEED TO ARGUE

BEST OF THE BEST

1. American Football - American Football
2. Phil Collins - Both Sides
3. The Cranberries - No Need To Argue
4. Dashboard Confessional - The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
5. The Fray - How To Save A Life
6. Patty Griffin - 1,000 Kisses
7. Hidden In Plain View - Resolution
8. Avril Lavigne - Let Go
9. Oingo Boingo - Nothing To Fear
10. Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends
11. Trespassers William - Having

woa's bark

It's the 11th, and my sister will be leaving to visit for the 5th(?) time this year in 9 days.  Tomorrow my mother gets food stamps, which is good news considering the cubboards have little in them.

  My Inbox Dollars check totalling $31.27 is to be mailed today or soon.  I finally completed the post-sign up portion of their iBid2Save offer, by winning a $20 Amazon gift card that totals $13.08 w/ S&H + auction fee.  The gift card itself should be shipping soon too, but there's not much telling.  They say it could take 14 days to ship, but there could be delays (how is taking 14 days to get something into the hands of the postal service not a delay N&of itself???  I'd REALLY LIKE TO KNOW!!!  Out of curiosity, if nothing else...trying to get "behind the scenes" information from these people is like pulling teeth a lot of the time...)
But if they both arrive at or around the same 2 business day span (my gramma, who I rely on for transportation most of the time, volunteers her time mostly on Mon-Fri), then I will have a mini-shop'n spree on my hands.  As if $51.27 isn't awesome enough to die from excitement over (?), I just got a $5 Amazon gift card from OpinionSquare less than 1hr ago.  It's the 3rd one I got from them and I **THINK** I signed up to their site less than a year ago.

 I'm hoping I'll get all this while the Philips Fidelio DS7550 remains at its current price of $50 @ Amazon.  My bank lets me OD my acct by up to $3 before they block a charge, and without any OD fee(s), and I currently owe them $2.88, which means the $31.27 IDB check will amount to a net spendable total of $28.39, which, when combined with the $20 Amazon GC from iBid2save, totals $48.39, and then you add the $5 from OpinionSquare, I still will have $3.39 cash(!!!!!!).  The downside to this is I owe my gramma $10.  Thankfully I haven't had the patience and enough of her undivided attn to feel comfortable explaining how I'm rolling in dough, so I don't need permission to repay her later...she's almost 70 years old and never felt comfortable around computers.  She has a hard enough time using cordless landline telephones.  So the idea of some internet based company offering incentives for being me might seem like "whaa?"  I've told her about Swagbucks and MyPoints, but I don't know if she really gets what I'm saying.  And I myself am no authority on the logistics of the thing.  I looked up Swagbucks on wikipedia and I'm still confused as to how the dang thing makes me $10 in Amazon GC funds richer almost every month.  Granted, I didn't read the whole article 'cause it basically just described the different methods of winning points, which I can find out first hand by taking a gander at the site, which I have, several times a day on most days, although granted I don't investigate the different "doors" of each site that carefully when I visit 99.9% of the time...

I wrote a flaming-red email to my mom a few days ago, and she was flaming-red more so than I was, almost killed herself, although she may have been mostly bluffing, it's hard to say.  But we (mostly I) talked, and then she laid down, cried, slept, cried some more, woke up and faced up to the facts, to me, and agreed that Danielle & we need to work on a st8 forward budget that shan't be tampered with.
So I'm not sure how much money I'll have to spend on obligatorily unnecessary spurts of lalahappy, but hopefully it'll be **AT LEAST** the same amount I've been getting or very close to it.  Assuming this is the case, the Philips Fidelio thing **COULD** go up by $20 and still be within reach.  But I'm not sure I want to do that.  I would like to get the PCA-1 mini-amplifier and see if that works with my speakers, since my speakers are currently just bookending my DVD and book collection, which each sit on either side of my CD rack, which is holding 20 CDs, with room for 10 more (?), and getting a pair of "Real" bookends would cost more, or AT LEAST as much, as I spent on the speakers (got 'em at a yardsale for $5!).  The PCA-1 is on sale @ Amazon too, but it usually retails for no more than $10 beyond its current sale price, which is $20.
But I just assume the Fidelio will have better sound quality and for $30 more -- $30 that I can, for now, actually afford (almost) -- I figure why not?  I just really hope I actually ***CAN*** acquire it for that price.
But if the price does go up, there will probably still be sellers offering refurbs for the same amount or less than the current price of a brand new 1 from Amazon.

Ok, just burn me - at the STEAK!

Oops...I did it again.  I played with your heart...I know better than to ask for forgiveness...it's too blatantly hypocritical...I'll just do it again...and again...

Ok, so what's new?  Uh...thanksgiving?  I went to church the Sunday b4 today.  It was boring.  Really boring.  I didn't learn anything, except little details pertaining to individual people's gratitude.  Not sure why the pastor wanted everyone to tell the congregation what they were thankful for.  I guess the congregation was curious?

My mom gave me a Bible for my birthday.  I'm so buried in my habits, I've barely even opened it.  I was planning on being bored on T-day, so I brought it with me, thinking my uncle Eddie wasn't going to be there to give me a ride.  My other uncle, John, had two movies for us to select, and somehow it was concluded that WE'RE THE MILLERS was more worth watching than THE HEAT.  Maybe it was, idk...it would have been distracting.  Eddie wasn't supposed to leave until later that day or the next, so he showed up and gave me a ride home on his way home; he's kind of anti-social, kind of like me...heh...

So, um...what else?...Hmm...can't think of anything.

toodles?

I didn't mean to be gone so long...

yoyoyo, wazzup!  J-dog in da HOUUUUUE!

Went to the doc on Nov 4th for asthma (SPELL asthma!), doc says I use my inhaler too much.  See?  I was sitting on my bootay thinking I didn't need to go to the doktor (just give me my meds and get out of my face!  And by face I do NOT mean the tops of my legs!!!  Uh...I mean...what?) and, I was wrong.  (Note to my mom: TWICE this week!)

So she (nurse practitioner, may as well be a doctor) prescribed (generic) single air (due to copyright laws, I am mispelling the word thou which dare not speakkk!!!!)

I was weighed in at 221 lbs.

Oct 12th, my weight changed to 216.  Is there something strange in YOUR neighborhood?  Mine neither.  Just a freakin' inconsistency between scales.  And they're both digital.  Don't MAKE me take off my sunglasses!
And wouldn't you know it; the season of the witch, I Mean, egg Noooogg, (nnooooooooo...), my triglycerides and cholesterol have risen.  Ha!  They should quit testing me in the winter.  I'd probably look much better a few weeks after I have my farewell egg nogg as opposed to a few days...


I am hearing about bee pollen from my (oh...) "therapist"...she says it's awesome and everything!  WebMD says there's no "evidence" to back up 90% of claims made for it, while Fox News says allergic reactions are more common than officially-collected data would have you believe.  My mom is allergic to bees, so I might be too.  My sister isn't.  So maybe...I'M NEXT!(gasps!!).  Eh...yeah, so, hopefully I won't die if -- ***IF*** - I buy it, which i very well might not.  My mom got her food stamps cut almost in half.  She wasn't notified of this weirdness in advance, so maybe the rest will come in later??  Or maybe the sequestration rules are kickin' in in ways not forseen or publicized.......I hope mine aren't cut in half, but I'll see.  I don't think I'll be able to pay for bee pollen w/ food stamps.; maybe household money can cover it, I'll see...I can maybe pay for half of it w/ my "play" $...I hope it's not $15+...if it is, I'll probably need some help paying for it...

Anyhow...
I got the impression somehow. probably from a cursory listen of TO PLANT A SEED (2007?), that I did not like, DID NOT like, metalcore band We Came As Romans.  I don't like that CD a whole lot.  UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE'VE GROWN TO BE is just flat out amazing.  I bought it from goHastings, it's not in nearly as bad'a condition as I would have expected, not perfect, but it's a digipak casing, which, for a better or worse, is thus more prone to bruising.  The spine was a little crooked, but they often get sold like that factory wrapped in the store, so...
I also bought HELLRAISER 20th Anniversary Edition..the best freakin' horror movie ever freakin' made, maaan!  On DVD dlx edition, yooooo..... I paid all of $2.34 for it INCLUDING S&H.  It would have been a great deal (goHastings) w/o the 30% off coupon ($2.89), but yoyoyo!  It was listed as used, b/c it wasn't direct from the manufacturer, but the joblo who sold it to Hastings for a few cents had not opened it.  IT WAS FACTORY SEALED!!!!  Yeeeeah.

My valued opinions

So far I've accumulated $8.75 in my Valued Opinions account.  I just got done receiving payment from ABC Gift Cards for a Macy's gift card I redeemed with my Valued Opinions acct balance.  Was a slow and painful experience.  Yet until I realized how ridiculous this whole thing is, I was feeling optimistic about the future...I guess the more I have now, provided I don't squander it in a flurry of haste like I often do, the more well off I'll be when the gov't shuts the lights on me.  I really need to consider my purchases more carefully.  Dang it.  I just realized something else.  Avril Lavigne's upcoming self titled CD is not worth buying!  "Rock n' Roll" is the only song of hers I've heard so far from that CD that's beyond mediocre good.  I'll need to sample it b4 I buy it, if I do.  Phew, that's one down and I Just need to buy Xmas gifts.  I'm not getting anyone very much, but it still cuts a lot from my budget.  It doesn't really matter though; if it wren't for Xmas shopping, there'd be none at all.  I'd just give it all to my sister or waste it...
I might buy the STAR WAS trilogy on VHS, the un-"special" edition...other than that, my CD and DVD collection is complete...I have all my life-changing favs; BRINGING OUT THE DEAD, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, GHOSTBUSTERS, THE LAST UNICORN and Gregg Araki's nOWHERE.  There's other really really good movies, but those are the ones I watch repeatedly, that is not to say "all the time", since I still do get tired of all of those movies if I see them more than once or twice a year.  I have E.T. and THE EXORCIST on VHS, and a few other movies on VHS and DVD, and I have probably more CDs than I need, and some books, and, for now, a gigantic selection of books to choose from @ the library, including DISGRACE by Coetze, which I'm re-starting b/c I had read 30 or so pages of it several months ago and forgot where I left off, and to some extent what I've read within those pages.  I'll probably keep reading Perlman's SEVEN TYPES OF AMBIGUITY sporadically, until when/if the library burns down and the townsfolk nor gov't have the money to re-build it and replenish the shelves.

SON OF MAGUS

Un debauche de profession est rarement un homme pitoyable

That should have been a dead giveaway that the author is full of schit.
But then I read part of the introduction to the revised edition before I looked online and found the revised edition is Evil.  I stopped before finishing page two, b/c it was keeping me from walking successfully (success = not getting ran over by a car).
Then I posted a Q on Y! to find out where the NON revised edition could be bought and someone took the time to answer a very detailed answer, seemingly w/o much prior knowledge of the matter.  He said most readers like both the revised edition & the original text.  So I took it upon myself to look up other opinions (reviews) of THE MAGUS Revised.  And someone was kind enough to give it 4/5 stars despite serious flaws.  One of them is hinted at in the quote above, which is from a novel by the Marque De Sade, titled in its native language Les Infortunes de la Vertu.  The English translation of whatever that says is irrelevant, the point is that people in general have never been bi, tri & quad+ lingual.  I myself am probably one of the lesser educated people in my community, but I do have a fairly good mind, although it gets stuck sometimes...tedium is something I am very sensitive to and dislike very much, to the point I get sick to my stomach in the face of it.  I could have advanced my math and reading skills from day 1, but my impression of school, from that day until it was too late for me to catch up, was "What the heck is this place and why am I here?!"  I felt like I was being tied up and held down.  Resistance was my rebellion.  Do I strike you as a rebel?  Hmm...Anyway, the school found something abnormal in my thinking patterns so instead of branding me as lazy and a traditional failure, they put me in a class with a bunch of other similarly misfitting children and didn't ask very much of me.  So heck, no: I do not speak French.  Most U.S. citizens don't learn French because The USA is the top dog and everyone who knows anything will learn English so they can speak effectively when in its presence.  The USA is lucky in this regard; we certainly did not earn this ability, although we have done a lot to make it look like we did, i.e: the Civil War, The Civil Rights Bill, etc...I still think the Vietnam war was just gov't sanctioned mass murder.  There was no goal in invading their land.  There was no strategy.  And the police here stateside often were almost as brutal.  I can't believe Ronald Reagan ever became president, after reading the liner notes of George Carlin's CLASSIC GOLD.
It seems like we never really had a free country until the decade I was born into, the 1980's.
But anyway; I wouldn't expect a Frenchman to learn English.  I think the French have a culture and a country just as worthy as any.  If THE MAGUS were written by John Folwes primarily for the French to read, I'd probably missed out on reading the original text.  Many an English speaking person missed out on Matthew Ward's translation of Albert Camus' THE STRANGER and thus had to settle with Stuart Gilbert's, inferior from what I can tell (although THE STRANGER, as beloved as it is, is a rather boring meandering pile of nothing, IMO).
I guess John Fowles expects the non-uber-educated folk to steer clear of him and not get his silk suit rife with mud.  Sorry I bought your book, Mr. Fowles.  I don't mean to intrude on your insular circle.