MA MAN, YO, ARMIDILLO NEWTON....

Spent 6pm-12am NOT feeding my cat, and scrambling to get this that and a handful of piddly other things done; switching between tabs in a race against time that can not be won...
Finally fed her.  She probably feels like I do, like someone kicked her in the stomach.  Man is not meant to be awake 8+ hours after dinner.  You ever get fixated on a goal and find the stress of that fixation makes reaching or finding that goal has made you too sick to enjoy it?
  I've been awake since 3:30 A.M.  I finally took Thursday's Abilify and Cymbalta, apprx half an hour ago.  It was past the deadline just barely.  I'll have to remember to take my pills at around 4pm or so.  It's not good to take two days' worth of medicine doses back to back.  14-32 hours is an okay interval.  It's an accomplishment of sorts for me to take my pills 3 days in a row.  It would be a case of possession for me to take my pills 3 days in a row at the same time each of those 3 days.
I'm back on the computer.  Was certain there was some group of songs I wanted to listen to.  Cannot for the life of me remember what it was I wanted to do so badly.

Semantic decibel worship

Just sent my sis a typo
I will my reg $ to pay 1/2 of the lwnmwr.  Hopefully Mom can cover at least half of that and my savings will cover "the rest" (whatever that ends up being)"

Did I really just say that?
I WILL MY REG. $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
(sprinkle Holy water)
I WILL MY REG $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
MY WILL COMPELS IT
MY WILL COMPELS IT

Thanks to spellchecking software, I now know "compel" is not spelled with two Ls.  I'm pretty sure since the "L" is not "possessed", I can rest in peace regarding my lack of an apostrophe....

See you on the other side.

The value of liquiation

Was reading about the Koch brothers and their supposed plans to let the poor people get sick and die off so they can enjoy their tea parties and golf tournaments w/o distraction.
That may very well be what the Koch brothers want.  I cannot say what they want any more so than they can say what I want.  If everybody cared about each other and put love and compassion for their fellow man before blind ambition, i.e.: money and/or power, then minimum wage being abolished would of no negative consequence.  If The Devil walked up to you, would you smile politely and let it shake your hand?  Likewise, people who rejoice in evil should not be elected into office, regardless of their political affiliation.  The fact of the matter is both Bernie Sanders and the Koch brothers-funded Republicans are both more concerned with money and power less with the real problems that face the USA.
The perceived problem with having the Koch brothers funding congress is not something anybody is immune to.  The vast majority of USA citizens would not wage war on the poor.  But that is only because if they spent every waking minute from birth to death squeezing as many dollars as they can from their employer, their work would still not be finished.  Their bones would be buried and hunger will continue to haunt them.  The Koch brothers have more money than they can count.  They have the freedom to say "Ok, What now?"  They have what every human on the face of the earth wants, they have shiny pretty things and the guarantee that the most comfortable bed money can buy will not be repossessed.  Now what?  What does one do when their life's work is finished before they're halfway in the grave?  Do they turn their back on their amazing house and bounty of pretty things so they can work in a soup kitchen or fly over ghettos with their private jet and assess which homes need food and how much food they need?
Very few people work 8+ hours a day for the purpose of anything other than acquiring an arsenal of stuff.  The Koch Bros. have stuff.  They have mental and physical health and they have all the stuff they can imagine wanting AND extra to give to their great grandchildren.  They have moved on from the rat race and are now focused on something equally pointless and gigantic in scope: World Domination.
It's about power.  All of it.  The rat race, even the participants who eat from the backend of it, have one thing and one thing only in mind: Power.  Call it a man-cave, call it freedom of choice, call it "my house my rules", it all amounts to the same thing: Conquering.  It may not be conquering much, but it's still conquering.
I don't know nearly as much about the presidential front runners as I ought to, but I know the likelyhood that anyone running for the high offices is doing so primarily with intent to help other people, be it inside or outside of "America"(The United States Of).

Beeee...

....gooooood

I missed my pills on Friday and Saturday.  I was hoping to go out on Saturday morning, preferably early morning if one were to dream, but nobody wants to do anything before 9am, and 9am is stretching it.  Not only did I not get to go anywhere, but my face felt like pea soup falling on the floor as my mom and sister, the holder of the car keys + driver's licenses, wasted themselves away watching HOUSE OF CARDS and NURSE JACKIE.  Sometime in the midst of all that, my sister fell asleep, on the couch.  I anxiously awaited her to wake up, did not make any effort to hide my anxiousness, and at the last minute was notified that I was going to have to get hiking or get hitchiking if i wanted to anywhere for the day.  The pea soup went from falling off my face to eating my face like it had more acid than normal.
I sent my sister an email that was randomly worded, hinting at all the rage and disgust and anguish I was feeling in a very outward  & irresponsible way.    My anguish was not helped by her actions, but her actions were not related to how I feel or felt.  I felt shamed into silence for half of Sunday even though I was cheerfully invited to church and had my breakfast paid for my sis, even though it was actually lunch for me b/c I'd eaten breakfast at 4am after waking up at 1am.
I was even feeling a little apprehensive on Monday.  I started to fall down that rabbit hole again after my mom did or said something to piss me off, but I took my mental health medication and I was able to reason myself to walk more in a manner worthy of my calling after a little while and more or less enjoyed the evening/night.
Whew.
I hope there's room in Heaven for me w/o medication.  If I can listen to the Holy Spirit w/o my medication after Medicaid funding goes kaput, that in itself will be a miracle.  I haven't picked up The Bible in 7 days as of today.  FFFRR!  This week has spun itself so smoothly.  Like a caramel candy making machine -- it's been stop/start yet steady nonetheless.

things are looking up.  Been ok since half of Monday roughly and Tuesday on up.
WOW.  HEADLINE NEWS.  I got a GHOSTBUSTERS(tm) shirt from a seller on Amazon.com containing a note formed by my father  via Amazon's "gift note" service  An event 20 years in the making!  It's half my fault by this point  I don't communicate enough with him.    I started talking with him a little bit somewhat recently via Facebook.  Nothing serious or deep.  Just exchanging opinions about popular political topics.  No biggie to me.  It's my sister who really had a tough time dealing with him not being around.  I could have been an orphan and I might've turned out OK, provided I didn't end up in an orphanage where everyone's waiting for the right time to explain to me where I am and the awful truth of why....."BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES YOU!!!!"  At least in my actual life, I do have one parent who has stuck it out and has made it more or less known that she is genuinely concerned for my well being.

In other news....ugh...can't think.....um...hot topics?  What just popped in there?  Uh...? My Brayn has gone bye-bye.  And so it's Christmas...  WHAT DID YOU DO?  WHAT DID YOU DO?  TELL ME IT'S NOT WHAT THEY SAID, OH GOD, TELL YOU DIDN'T......
[DELETE]/[END]

Night Beds - "Me, Liquor

Jealousy

When I started going to church over the last few years (few = 3), I was confused at this video segment showing a graffiti-style painter reciting The 10 Commandments, specifically the passage where it states that God is a jealous God.  All this time later, I start thinking about the parallel of man's jealousy and God's jealousy.  Jealousy can be inspired by a variety of things and it can be attached to other things as well.  But jealousy at its root is essentially when a person wants love from someone and isn't getting enough or any from implied person.  People have killed their lovers out of jealousy.  It is an excruciating feeling.  It's like suffocation with no assurance of a nearby end.  Obviously, killing is not an answer.  It makes one less person on your hit list, but the odds of having your expectations met by someone else that comes along are slim to none.  This world would go from sometimes unbearably cruel to constant agonizing loneliness.
Jesus summed The 10 Commandments, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy into two laws:
Love God with all your heart and love your fellow man as yourself.

Those are two laws that God always honors.  I think given the nature of jealousy and its place at the list of ten commandments, one can see both laws being carried out in one swoop in the sacrificing of Jesus The Christ of Nazareth, who is the human embodiment of God.

I was reading part of The Old Testament this afternoon, specifically Kings 1, and realized how jaded I am.  Quotes from minor players in The Bible sounded aloud come across as snarky and bitter.  It's not because of what is written, but because of how I've come to expect people to talk.
For instance (NIV) " "How many more years will I live, that I should go up to Jerusalem with the king? 
am now eighty years old. Can I tell the difference between what is enjoyable and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats and drinks? Can I still hear the voices of male and female singers? Why should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? 
Your servant will cross over the Jordan with the king for a short distance, but why should the king reward me in this way? 
Let your servant return, that I may die in my own town near the tomb of my father and mother. But here is your servant Kimham. Let him cross over with my lord the king. Do for him whatever you wish."
To me, it sounded like the person quoted saying all of that was grumbling about his old age and rebuking the king for offering the reward given him.  But that is most likely because of 1) the sadness that permeates my mind when I think of old age and 2) I often say or think "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I think the teachings of Jesus if they were to be read in earnest would blow this world wide open.  I sat in tears one Sunday as I found myself realizing the need to follow the pleas of my family members, who have been urging me to reduce my output of negative criticism.
I was invited to share in a Bible-study that my mom was doing with a disparate group of Christians and one of the questions pertained to John The Baptist and his reaction to Jesus requesting Baptism from John the Baptist.
 (NIV)

"  

13Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. 14But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”

15Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

16As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

"

One might look at this and think of it as Jesus dotting his I's and crossing his T's, like a contractual obligation based on a technicality.  I now think of this as a footnote of God's willingness to lead His people by example.  I might think more of it if I ever learn to understand and appreciate Baptism.  That's for another blog post.

moving out

Damn.  I have been WAAAAY too lazy w/ me bloggin
OK.  Me and my mom found a place outside of my sister&her-husband's 2 bedroom apartment to live, at least until our SSI (Supplemental Security Income aka welfare) runs dry due to whatever is causing the dissolving of the trustfund that the gov't set up many years ago.
It's a 45 minutes to an hour drive from the residence of my sister & my nephew.  And another 45/60 minutes back.  I like the feel of the place.  It's very rugged and outdoorsy.  The place was a pigsty when we looked at it, but the trailer park manager assured my mother that they would be cleaning it before we move in.  They don't know how long it'll take, but we're planning on moving in no later than the 8th of March.  My sister & her husband bought my mother a recliner from LA-Z-BOY.  It is scheduled for delivery on March 8th.  So if we're not moved in by then...maybe they'll reschedule, provided someone remembers to call them and ask...*maybe*....
Not much has gone on with me otherwise.  Me mum & I finished applying for food stamps and Medicaid over two weeks ago.  Now we're waiting to see if we're approved.  My mom has ran out of at least 3 medications totaling over $100.  And that's just for 3.  She takes almost a dozen total.  My sister's not bad off, but she's not well off enough to pay for my mother's medical bills.
My sister's been generously supplying grocery items.  We eat some kind of meat dish almost every dinner.  Not to mention the sandwich meat, which I myself don't normally buy.  The price of groceries is about the same in this part of the U.S. as it was in southeast Missouri.  The price of gas is not an exercise in redundancy like it was in SEMO.  In Cape Girardeau, gas prices were pretty much one flat rate.  Here, they've been varying between $1.44 and $1.65 depending on who you shop with and where you shop with them.  The Shell stations, for instance, don't all have the same prices -- nor are they all on the higher end of the spectrum.  The QT and RaceTrac locations do generally stick to the same range, differing by one or two cents.  The electric company is one and only one, just as it was where we had lived before.  Not sure if that's the case nationwide or not.

The Piedmont Project of Reject, USA

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulton_County,_Georgia

WHAT????
  I don't see how this article even makes any sense.  It starts by saying Fulton County is of/in "The Piedmont Section" of Georgia.  Firstly, what the hell does that mean and secondly, shouldn't a county that's smaller than the city it sits within be at least a tiny bit outshadowed by it?  Yeah, who cares about the fact that Fulton County is ***IN*** the city of Atlanta?  EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT ALREADY RIGHT???  I guess you get what you pay for when you rely on a FREE encyclopedia...
And the *second* sentence of the *first* paragraph jumps right into census #s.  Noteworthy, but why the heck is census information with sprinkles of other info crammed in between the only thing that the preface consists of?  It should *start* with the nation, state, and a nod to Atlanta & then census #s.  The 4th & 5th can be debated, I suppose.  I should not have to go to the end of some elongated non-answer about the population # of Fulton County to find out that Fulton County is within Atlanta and not the other way around.

I looked up the word "Piedmont" and unsurprisingly, nothing but pictures of maps and links to travel agents and tourist propaganda showed up.  Nobody *wants* to know what Piedmont is.  Nobody cares.  SO WHAT THE FUCK IS "THE PIEDMONT SECTION"???  Nobody *wants* to know because nobody except me is new to the Atlanta area...either that or the people of this area don't use Wikipedia?

"& your 3 precious back issues, too!"

The MovieStop membership, as I said, came w/ a 1yr subscription to Entertainment Weekly.  ****AND* it came with 3 back issues.  One of them has David Bowie on the cover.  I just sold it @ Amazon.  It's in pending status right now, but I expect to receive apprx. $2.50 (maybe $3+) from the sale of this mag.  WOW.  I've already got over half my membership paid for.  I didn't realize how cool it is to have this.
HA HA HA HA!!!!!!  TAKE THAT SIR DOUBT!!!!!

30044 (N. OTP)

LIVING IN OTP ATLANTA.
Just got moved January 21st, 2016.  Living in my sister & her husband's condo.  Currently looking for somewhere to live so it won't be so crowded.  My sis is estimated to go into labor in April.  I'm sure she'll have a ton on her plate without having me (and my mom) around.  I tend to be a lot more *in the way* than Mom.  And I talk too much...questions & excessively detailed statements...
Being @ sissy's condo makes Atlanta seem awesoeme.  Me & mumsy checked out a motel like complex that had nothing around it and was a 30-45 minute drive each way.    It had a ton of dinky businesses around.  An actual grocery store would be a big hunkofa walk, not even legal b/c YOU CAN'T WALK ON THE INTERSTATE and there's lots of I-state happening here.  75% of the car trips I've taken since I moved here require driving on the interstate.  I'm not sure what route(s) I would take walking.  NONE (?)??
   Anyway...still looking for apts/houses.  We've found a couple things at/under $600.  I personally like the condo/motel complex.  My mom says it's a very rundown looking area, but I wouldn't expect anything more for the amount of money we've settled on spending.  I'm almost certain my mom is unwilling to sign a lease for a $700 apartment.  I don't drive, so she's taking the lead in the decision making.  I think an apt/condo/trailer/house would have to be wow-level impressive to convince her & I to spend $700/mo on it.  My sis is paying under $800/mo on this place, but the down payment was $25,000, which she got from her boss in exchange for accepting her boss' pleaSSSE DON'T LEAVE!!!  My sis was half a mile away from driving to work at a new place when her boss gave her an offer she couldn't refuse.  $25,000.  WHEW!  ******and*** she got a $3/hr raise.  Ye!  She's the stuff of bumper stickers.  Except I'm w/o a bumper.  This'll have to suffice.
Ate at Krispy Kreme for the 1st time ever.  I don't mind it.  I think it's extremely overrated, but I like donuts, kinda like pizza, hard to screw up w/ it unless you have no business being in business.  I need to keep an eye out for their neon sign.  It's lit up when the donuts R fresh.  Gotta remember to go by and look, mainly.  We're not far, but getting up on it to see is not something me or my mom ordinarily do.
I had a cupcake from a 6pk that my sis & her hubby bought at Publix, another thing SEMO didn't have.  IT'S AWESOME!  My mom said that when she (Mom) visited my sis back in April 2015 that the cake my sis' husband bought her was from Publix and was AWESOME!  Moist cake and WHAAAAAAA-quality creme.  I was hypothesizing based on my weird thought process that combines memories of all different shapes and sizes to come to some rather odd conclusions once in a while that if you put really great frosting on a mediocre cake that the frosting is almost an enemy to the cake and that you either hate both the frosting *and* the cake -- cake b/c it's an enemy & the frosting for chillin' w/ the enemy -- or you grin and bear while you take turns choking on the cake & savoring the frosting.  Unless you just take the frosting off of the cupcake and eat it as is, but then you wouldn't pass as civilized in the company of me mum & me sis.
Anyhoo....uh...lesseee...
My sis' husband had a humongous stash of DVDs that he couldn't use.  He told me I should watch them.  I said "no" to 95% of them.  I finally stopped in MovieStop.  I'd heard of it b/c of Hastings' affiliation w/ them.  It's cool.  It's got the feel of a local comic shop, except it's a chain.  It's a lot cleaner than Hastings.  It's got more natural lighting.  It's cool.  The DVDS that I didn't want  I got $24 in store credit plus TBA.  I had two cartons/containers of DVDs and forgot to take one of them inside.  So there's another $15++ that I'm looking forward to at some point.  I used $15 of it on some stupid membership that gives me a year of Entertainment Weekly magazine & 10% off used movies and 10% extra trade in value.  So I would have had only $21 in trade in value.  The membership bumped it up a little.  I guess you could say I saved $5 in one day.  Sometime soon I expect to save another $2-$6, depending on the trade in value of what's left of my bro-in-law's stash.  I did save a few notable selections for he & she in case they ever once again have a functioning optical disc player that can playback standard DVDs.  The rest of my trade-in value went to END OF DAYS and FROM HELL.  I still had $2.50 or something like that remaining.