Communion

 

I'd been skipping communion for I don't know how long.  Pastor usually just says to let the elements pass by if you're refusing to repent.  Thing is, I don't know if I'm refusing to repent.  I am lacking in willingness.  If I were 100% absolutely willing to repent I'd do whatever it takes to get it done.  I'd haunt my room, alternating between wailing in frustration and praying, like a total schizo.  I'd endure going without tv or internet.  I'd turn my face against every female that comes in my line of sight.  I'm still not sure if taking it today was appropriate but it's done.  This time, my pastor said something to the effect of 'Examine yourself, and look 10 x more at Jesus '.  I decided to take a leap of faith.  Ill informed faith, perhaps.  I just can't conceive of being joyful denying myself and preparing myself for burial.  Maybe someday I'll get this figured out.

Confusion

 My pastor pointed out that The Bible is not structured anything like a systematic theology textbook.  His explanation for that is that is that God was (is) intending to capture the readers heart.  I think he's probably right about that, but also The Bible covers a wide spectrum of truth.  There's very few succinct summarizations of any theology.  Really, that's because truth is too complex to succinctly cover.  That's why you often have two statements in scripture that seem to contradict themselves.  On one hand you have Jesus verdict about anger in His sermon on the Mount.  Then you have Jesus' hand picked servant instructing people "Get angry but do not sin".  Then you have words in Proverbs that talk about reputation and honor while other verses talk about the need to love instruction.  You shouldn't love instruction to the degree that you forsake honor but you also should not value honor so much that you refuse others' instruction.  Ultimately, goodness and truth *should* reign supreme but we humans tend to have difficulty with those things.

This topic came to mind because I keep hearing Jesus' freeing of the captives described as 'We're saved from the power of sin'.  Then people talk about needing to "kill" sin because it's "so powerful".  If we're free from the power of sin, then the power that sin has is irrelevant.  The thing is, The Bible doesn't say we're free from the power of sin.  THAT is a summation that probably comes from theology textbook.  We are no longer SLAVES to sin.  That is different than saying that we're free from the power of sin.  Also, it'd seem like, to me anyway, that one's lack of slavery to sin can at times take awhile to become evident.  Our position in Christ is absolute and sure.  However, things on this side of heaven can be a good bit murky quite often.

Contentment musings

 @ https://www.facebook.com/share/1Yab413KYs/?mibextid=xfxF2i

Contentment is an interesting concept. It'd seem like it requires having everything you want. Or somehow amputation from desire. In some cases we are called to do that, to "abstain from fleshly lusts"*, but who can fault someone for wanting a pain free life? Or wanting everything to work as advertised? There is, I think, a degree of discontent in everyone's life and there should be. But it should be submitted to God. Discontent should not be so pervasive that it causes one to point the finger at God. There's very well might be times when you're in so much pain that you end up wailing, rather loudly at that, but it should not cause you to rage against God. Doubt, perhaps. I think God understands that we have reasoning skills and that we rely on them for most things and are not 100% able to accept things that exceed our abilities to comprehend. That's largely why THE GOOD NEWS is called such. It's not new information. It's not even a new reality. It's just that God explains Himself more clearly in The Gospel. It's also the good news that, because of Jesus' sacrifice, people who submit to God, even if it's not a full blown submission, are able receive His spirit implanted in them, securing them a place in Heaven, where there is no pain or awkwardness, frustration etc.... Buy even when we don't understand and are prone to doubt, we should be willing to listen as well as speak. And if God is silent, we need to hold onto the hope of Heaven. Hope softens hearts, and makes people able to endure whatever He may bring.  

In short, I do believe Christian contentment is relative.

 *an observation my pastor made several months ago [which I think he may have forgotten about...] that completely escaped my notice is the emphasis on the -lusts- as opposed to the 'giving into' them.

YUU PPL .

 I posted this comment on an article from People magazine about Amber Heard, which covered a bit of ground including the defamation trial.

These are my two cents.

"It is extremely unfortunate the garbage she dealt with during that, but from what I can tell, Depp's defamation trial succeeded because it's at least understood they were both coked up and out of control.  I don't condone hitting a woman.  If he actually did beat her, that's something he should be deeply ashamed of, and I don't know what happened in their personal lives, but if what I'd read about the backstory of the trial and my overall impression from it is accurate,  she is *partially* responsible for a lot of what happened between them.  I'm not trying to shift the blame, but she made it sound like she's one of those wives who are beaten by their husband simply because their husbands are out of control temperamental; these wives who are all too aware of their husbands temper and often try to avoid even being yelled at.  That's nothing the public needs to be getting worked up about and posting hateful comments about her because of.  Johnny Depp is by no means innocent in all of this, but neither of them need to be villified which is what I think Johnny Depp was ultimately concerned with. Btw, I don't believe his vehement denials are honest.  It's equally shameful for him to be villifying her the way he did and anyone with an iota of human decency can say the same thing, but there are a lot of generally well meaning people who just don't seem to get that you, and I, of course, are not entitled to treat people like dirt and that if you, female or otherwise, get smacked for doing so, sure, call the police, let the violence be acknowledged as such, but, again, you don't need to vilify the violent offender.  Let them suffer the legal ramifications of their actions, whatever it/they may be, but you don't need to go to your friends or the press and talk about how brutal the guy is."

Ga

I'm really not sure what transpired in the Garden of Eden.  The forbidden fruit tree was described as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  It was not until it was eaten of that God declared mankind guilty and promised a release from said bondage.

Now, there are indeed things that people do that are just rotten and should never be done.  But a question that has come up to me several times is What does "perfect" look like?  What specifically distinguishes God that qualifies Him as perfect?  It's not that He never broke the ten commandments.  True, He hasn't stolen or disobeyed His parents, but when you have no parents and everything you see is yours, I mean...is that really the litmus test?  Is God to be praised and honored because He literally CANNOT sin?  And I don't mean cannot like "I can't violate my conscience", but like the same way a human being CANNOT be a giraffe.  God could perhaps turn a human into a giraffe but then he wouldn't be a human anymore.

I think Paul hunted at this when he said "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me."

Ultimately, we should pursue distance from things that tempt us to do what God commands against, but what is most important is that we are with God.  We were never intended to be perfect.  We were never intended to be equal with God's awesomeness.  We were intended to be with God.  What the law could not do, God did, sending His son in our likeness to bridge the chasm between us and Him.  Inasmuch as we are distant from God, our souls will continue to feel it.  Granted, I think, we weren't to be walking immediately beside Him, literally with Him, 24/7.  The picture in Genesis 2 shows Adam and Eve off doing whatever, and God off doing whatever, there was no explanation or indictment given for Eve being in a position to be having a conversation with Satan.  She's not recorded as having like King David having made one bad decision (staying at home and doing nothing) that ended up snowballing into something much worse.  So we're not going to be like hanging off of God's shoulders all the rest of our days, but it'll sometimes be like when you were a kid and your parents would go to the grocery store and be back in less than 2 hours.  Except it won't even be like that because you'll always know that you're safe, no matter what happens.  

The distance between us and God is in our hearts. 

Our lack of perfection can be wrongfully ignored, like I said, there's things that we simply should not do.  We should not get hostile with people about petty issues, we (or at least I) should not be so materialistic and trying so incessantly to have all these passing fancies.  I should not look at people with such shallowness the way I often do, it should not take so much effort for me to remember to be compassionate and helpful.  These are not small things.  It's insanely easy for me to think otherwise but God obviously doesn't agree with me when I'm thinking that. He had to estrange Himself from His only begotten Son for 3 hours, and watch Him suffer from all kinds of brutality.  Not to mention all of that pain that Jesus The Christ Himself faced.  All to atone for that which we CANNOT atone for.  We can try to make restitution but we CANNOT take back what we do and say.  And I know from experience feeling the brunt of someone's malice, that no apology is really ever enough to assure me of peace.  No act of kindness is enough to offset things.  The only thing to do is know that neither me nor my opponent are innocent.  And we both are offered salvation through the life death and resurrection of Jesus.

bo

 really bites that so many movies that are actually REALLY GOOD just fall on deaf ears so to speak.

OUR FRIEND (2021) 95% of movie goers liked it.  Didn't even gross $1M at the box office.

A GOOD PERSON (2023) 96% of movie goers liked it.  Grossed less than $2.5M at the domestic box office, just a smiden over $2.5M globally.

Meanwhile, that half baked THE BATMAN sequel grosses almost a billion dollars and there's now a 7th Jurassic Park (or whatever...) movie made after 4 lame AF sequels in a row. (Jurassic World 2 was a little better than Jurassic World, but not by much...although Jurassic World was still better than Jurassic Park 3, so, I guess they're slowly getting better...............  didn't finish watching JW:Dominion...)

Helpless babies

 [I wrote this intending to send it to my pastor, but I doubt he has time to read or any interest in reading it]

It seems like the anger etc. over not getting their food fast enough would most likely stem from distrust.  And how many babies would grow up with nutritional deficiencies if babies were not making an uproar about lacking food?  Babies are not aware of the inconvenience their tantrums pose or the limitations of their parents.  Babies also don't have the reasoning with which to "take a look in the mirror".  Of course you don't have to teach babies disobedience.  God didn't need to learn disobedience either.  The importance of authority IS something that babies need to learn and God didn't need to learn that because He's the one who created it.  Not to mention God was never a baby.  I highly doubt Jesus was born with 20/20 vision able to discern weather his mom was too distracted watching soap operas to care if he was hungry and able to figure out "ok, obviously she's getting the lid off of the peanut butter....so, and so, must equate....". If Jesus was resigned to die at the hands of man's neglect if it so shall be from the second He was born, then, only immense peace flowing from The Holy Spirit would have made that possible.

Just seems rather judgemental to be picking on helpless babies who just want to eat.  Not like they cry for no good reason in the first place.  Patience and understanding are far from a babies' capacity.  That doesn't seem to me to be a case of "suppressing the truth in unrighteousness".

I'm also confused as to how someone could be dumb enough to think that we create or in any way orchestrate our salvation.  God created man and everything about man.  It certainly wasn't my idea for God to send His son to die to atone for my sins.  If I were to ever think to ask God to be pleased with me, that dynamic certainly would not have been my first thought.  Or my second or even 15th....  I mean, honestly, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have to painstakingly "put sin [self] to death", but rather my nature would be changed, and viola, I'd ACTUALLY play NO part in my salvation, but it would ALL be God, instead of hearing people SAY that...

Re Christ

 https://www.facebook.com/share/p/14DnkGyxy9w/?mibextid=xfxF2i

"Who has believed our message

    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

    and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by mankind,

    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces

    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

 Surely he took up our pain

    and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

    stricken by him, and afflicted.

 But he was pierced for our transgressions,

    he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

    and by his wounds we are healed.

 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

    each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

    the iniquity of us all."

Christ means Messiah.  

Mary, mother of Jesus was not some angelic being. She was a devout Christian, which we are all called to be. She didn't practice "Christianity" the way that Christians do today, but she believed the words of God, to the best of her ability, which is all God requires of us. To believe them and act accordingly. The sufficiency of scripture can be exaggerated like it's literally EVERYTHING a person needs, which is true if you don't want to live on this earth another day. If you want a chance of survival on Earth, you need, for starters, God Himself, His sustaining power, not just words written that speak ABOUT His power. But if you're believing things about God that aren't in The Bible, then how do you distinguish truth from lies?! You may as well believe what the Quran says about God.

Slavery in the USA

It seems like people try to minimize the state of race relations by explaining that every country at one point had slaves.  The real question then is How are the descendents of slaves in Europe and elsewhere treated?  The KKK formed as a response to the Union winning the civil war and it was not until the past 50 years that their presence and influence has seriously begun to diminish.  The more common problem nowadays is people trying to act like racism was never there.  People throwing the "N" word around like it's part of a math equation.  People ignoring or justifying the racism that exists in their friends and neighbors.  I do think a lot of people, black and white, fail to understand that slavery, as its' own independent thing, is NOT unique to the US.  It's not something only black people experienced.  But A) How were those slaves treated?  if they were treated with the same contempt and disregard that black slaves in the US were, are those other countries who allowed slavery doing ANYTHING to try and make amends to the people in their populace whose ancestors faced it or are they just trying to forgive themselves and expect that others do the  same?

I don't think most black people are expecting white people to donate a kidney for the cause.  There has to be some level of forgiveness at hand otherwise the whole thing is pointless.  I think a little bit of political correctness, with a spirit of kindness and understanding is in order.   Sometimes it does go too far, especially when people decide to police and re-police certain descriptions of people groups or characteristics thereof...[I understand not using the term "negro", but seriously????] But generally, what people call political correctness is simply being considerate.  But yes, if you're just doing it so you won't get chewed out for not being considerate, then... either way as far as I'm concerned.  Not that my opinion really means anything...

violence!

 I remember being an open proponent of screen violence when I was younger.  I've mostly given up expressing any kind of support for it, because people are so stuck in their views.  But I've come to realize, where people who decry it are mainly concerned with the destruction and loss that ensues when murder occurs, what I've always found stimulating was more the fantastical elements; movies that take what you normally see and combine them in ways that you don't normally see them.  For instance, in Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the main villain is this weird lump of metal that can liquify at any moment.  Its' arms can meld into swords and it can physically blend itself with certain kinds of objects.  And in a couple different scenes you see the sword/knife/stabbing weapon effect being used.  One particularly noteworthy one was when this guy was drinking milk and the machine shot its arm through the milk container and the guys' head.  I think even at the age I was at when I saw it, there was a degree of sadness that accompanied it, but it was also just not something I would expect to see.  You can go through any war zone and you're extremely unlikely to see anything of the sort.  And very few of any of the people I've ever met have been in a war zone even.  Violence in movies is a safe way to be shaken by the very real possibility of death and destruction.  Nobody is going to be gleeful and joyous 24/7.  If you're not going to be exuding bright cheer all day, why not take that boredom or possibly even anger or sadness and channel it appropriately?  As wrong as it may be, no movie is going to be make anyone happy.  Satisfied, entertained, sure, but happy?  Even comedies have a degree of tension that carries them forth.  Ghostbusters, as much fun as it was, was about a fight between humanity and an evil inter-dimensional entity.  You had a guy abusing his education and job description, getting rejected by the woman of his dreams, and he and his friends having to resort to smoking because they were under so much pressure from their job (Apparently they were so busy, they never got a chance to change their business hours of 24/7).  

Obviously there's been cases where kids watch violent movies and become violent themselves.  I personally think that's most likely a combination of things 1) Deficient parental guidance.  2) Over-saturation.  I didn't spend the entire day watching the likes of Platoon, The Terminator, Terminator 2, and A Nightmare on Elm Street.  There was not a single day I spent entirely watching movies until I got to be about 14 and even then it wasn't a regular thing.  I didn't even see A Nightmare On Elm Street until I was about 14 because people were so concerned with me being forthright about my penchant for violent movies.  Honestly, I think part of the reason movies like The Terminator resonated with me was because I was not a particularly happy child growing up.  I've always been somewhat melancholy.  I wouldn't say I was depressed, per se, although at times that melancholy has extended into depression.  I don't know exactly why that is.  My guess is it was passed through my mom being so sad as I was growing up. Osmosis, in a sense, I guess.  One of my favorite movies when I was about 7ish was The Last Unicorn.  If you really watch that movie, you'll find it's a pretty dang melancholy movie.  It's not some chirpy "hi ho, we go" or "hakuna matata" kinda thing...  

I'm not trying to say that kids across the board should be allowed to watch The Terminator, or anything else for that matter.  It should be understood by the kid that human beings do have the capacity to die (and that things like blood loss etc. can make that happen somewhat quick) but it should also be understood by the parent that the people you see in movies, even if it's based on true events, are not real.  People, men (boys), especially, have a taste for warfare.  That taste should be tempered as a boy becomes a man, as it has in my case (and I'd assume most other men, to varying degrees), but I'm not sure it should be outright discouraged.  It's a delicate balance, admittedly.  You want to teach kids to increase in their value of life, and to all the more so behold rightly in their sight what should be precious, but God did create men to be fighters.  (He didn't create men to be murderers.)