Communion

 

I'd been skipping communion for I don't know how long.  Pastor usually just says to let the elements pass by if you're refusing to repent.  Thing is, I don't know if I'm refusing to repent.  I am lacking in willingness.  If I were 100% absolutely willing to repent I'd do whatever it takes to get it done.  I'd haunt my room, alternating between wailing in frustration and praying, like a total schizo.  I'd endure going without tv or internet.  I'd turn my face against every female that comes in my line of sight.  I'm still not sure if taking it today was appropriate but it's done.  This time, my pastor said something to the effect of 'Examine yourself, and look 10 x more at Jesus '.  I decided to take a leap of faith.  Ill informed faith, perhaps.  I just can't conceive of being joyful denying myself and preparing myself for burial.  Maybe someday I'll get this figured out.

Confusion

 My pastor pointed out that The Bible is not structured anything like a systematic theology textbook.  His explanation for that is that is that God was (is) intending to capture the readers heart.  I think he's probably right about that, but also The Bible covers a wide spectrum of truth.  There's very few succinct summarizations of any theology.  Really, that's because truth is too complex to succinctly cover.  That's why you often have two statements in scripture that seem to contradict themselves.  On one hand you have Jesus verdict about anger in His sermon on the Mount.  Then you have Jesus' hand picked servant instructing people "Get angry but do not sin".  Then you have words in Proverbs that talk about reputation and honor while other verses talk about the need to love instruction.  You shouldn't love instruction to the degree that you forsake honor but you also should not value honor so much that you refuse others' instruction.  Ultimately, goodness and truth *should* reign supreme but we humans tend to have difficulty with those things.

This topic came to mind because I keep hearing Jesus' freeing of the captives described as 'We're saved from the power of sin'.  Then people talk about needing to "kill" sin because it's "so powerful".  If we're free from the power of sin, then the power that sin has is irrelevant.  The thing is, The Bible doesn't say we're free from the power of sin.  THAT is a summation that probably comes from theology textbook.  We are no longer SLAVES to sin.  That is different than saying that we're free from the power of sin.  Also, it'd seem like, to me anyway, that one's lack of slavery to sin can at times take awhile to become evident.  Our position in Christ is absolute and sure.  However, things on this side of heaven can be a good bit murky quite often.

Contentment musings

 @ https://www.facebook.com/share/1Yab413KYs/?mibextid=xfxF2i

Contentment is an interesting concept. It'd seem like it requires having everything you want. Or somehow amputation from desire. In some cases we are called to do that, to "abstain from fleshly lusts"*, but who can fault someone for wanting a pain free life? Or wanting everything to work as advertised? There is, I think, a degree of discontent in everyone's life and there should be. But it should be submitted to God. Discontent should not be so pervasive that it causes one to point the finger at God. There's very well might be times when you're in so much pain that you end up wailing, rather loudly at that, but it should not cause you to rage against God. Doubt, perhaps. I think God understands that we have reasoning skills and that we rely on them for most things and are not 100% able to accept things that exceed our abilities to comprehend. That's largely why THE GOOD NEWS is called such. It's not new information. It's not even a new reality. It's just that God explains Himself more clearly in The Gospel. It's also the good news that, because of Jesus' sacrifice, people who submit to God, even if it's not a full blown submission, are able receive His spirit implanted in them, securing them a place in Heaven, where there is no pain or awkwardness, frustration etc.... Buy even when we don't understand and are prone to doubt, we should be willing to listen as well as speak. And if God is silent, we need to hold onto the hope of Heaven. Hope softens hearts, and makes people able to endure whatever He may bring.  

In short, I do believe Christian contentment is relative.

 *an observation my pastor made several months ago [which I think he may have forgotten about...] that completely escaped my notice is the emphasis on the -lusts- as opposed to the 'giving into' them.

YUU PPL .

 I posted this comment on an article from People magazine about Amber Heard, which covered a bit of ground including the defamation trial.

These are my two cents.

"It is extremely unfortunate the garbage she dealt with during that, but from what I can tell, Depp's defamation trial succeeded because it's at least understood they were both coked up and out of control.  I don't condone hitting a woman.  If he actually did beat her, that's something he should be deeply ashamed of, and I don't know what happened in their personal lives, but if what I'd read about the backstory of the trial and my overall impression from it is accurate,  she is *partially* responsible for a lot of what happened between them.  I'm not trying to shift the blame, but she made it sound like she's one of those wives who are beaten by their husband simply because their husbands are out of control temperamental; these wives who are all too aware of their husbands temper and often try to avoid even being yelled at.  That's nothing the public needs to be getting worked up about and posting hateful comments about her because of.  Johnny Depp is by no means innocent in all of this, but neither of them need to be villified which is what I think Johnny Depp was ultimately concerned with. Btw, I don't believe his vehement denials are honest.  It's equally shameful for him to be villifying her the way he did and anyone with an iota of human decency can say the same thing, but there are a lot of generally well meaning people who just don't seem to get that you, and I, of course, are not entitled to treat people like dirt and that if you, female or otherwise, get smacked for doing so, sure, call the police, let the violence be acknowledged as such, but, again, you don't need to vilify the violent offender.  Let them suffer the legal ramifications of their actions, whatever it/they may be, but you don't need to go to your friends or the press and talk about how brutal the guy is."

Ga

I'm really not sure what transpired in the Garden of Eden.  The forbidden fruit tree was described as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  It was not until it was eaten of that God declared mankind guilty and promised a release from said bondage.

Now, there are indeed things that people do that are just rotten and should never be done.  But a question that has come up to me several times is What does "perfect" look like?  What specifically distinguishes God that qualifies Him as perfect?  It's not that He never broke the ten commandments.  True, He hasn't stolen or disobeyed His parents, but when you have no parents and everything you see is yours, I mean...is that really the litmus test?  Is God to be praised and honored because He literally CANNOT sin?  And I don't mean cannot like "I can't violate my conscience", but like the same way a human being CANNOT be a giraffe.  God could perhaps turn a human into a giraffe but then he wouldn't be a human anymore.

I think Paul hunted at this when he said "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me."

Ultimately, we should pursue distance from things that tempt us to do what God commands against, but what is most important is that we are with God.  We were never intended to be perfect.  We were never intended to be equal with God's awesomeness.  We were intended to be with God.  What the law could not do, God did, sending His son in our likeness to bridge the chasm between us and Him.  Inasmuch as we are distant from God, our souls will continue to feel it.  Granted, I think, we weren't to be walking immediately beside Him, literally with Him, 24/7.  The picture in Genesis 2 shows Adam and Eve off doing whatever, and God off doing whatever, there was no explanation or indictment given for Eve being in a position to be having a conversation with Satan.  She's not recorded as having like King David having made one bad decision (staying at home and doing nothing) that ended up snowballing into something much worse.  So we're not going to be like hanging off of God's shoulders all the rest of our days, but it'll sometimes be like when you were a kid and your parents would go to the grocery store and be back in less than 2 hours.  Except it won't even be like that because you'll always know that you're safe, no matter what happens.  

The distance between us and God is in our hearts. 

Our lack of perfection can be wrongfully ignored, like I said, there's things that we simply should not do.  We should not get hostile with people about petty issues, we (or at least I) should not be so materialistic and trying so incessantly to have all these passing fancies.  I should not look at people with such shallowness the way I often do, it should not take so much effort for me to remember to be compassionate and helpful.  These are not small things.  It's insanely easy for me to think otherwise but God obviously doesn't agree with me when I'm thinking that. He had to estrange Himself from His only begotten Son for 3 hours, and watch Him suffer from all kinds of brutality.  Not to mention all of that pain that Jesus The Christ Himself faced.  All to atone for that which we CANNOT atone for.  We can try to make restitution but we CANNOT take back what we do and say.  And I know from experience feeling the brunt of someone's malice, that no apology is really ever enough to assure me of peace.  No act of kindness is enough to offset things.  The only thing to do is know that neither me nor my opponent are innocent.  And we both are offered salvation through the life death and resurrection of Jesus.

bo

 really bites that so many movies that are actually REALLY GOOD just fall on deaf ears so to speak.

OUR FRIEND (2021) 95% of movie goers liked it.  Didn't even gross $1M at the box office.

A GOOD PERSON (2023) 96% of movie goers liked it.  Grossed less than $2.5M at the domestic box office, just a smiden over $2.5M globally.

Meanwhile, that half baked THE BATMAN sequel grosses almost a billion dollars and there's now a 7th Jurassic Park (or whatever...) movie made after 4 lame AF sequels in a row. (Jurassic World 2 was a little better than Jurassic World, but not by much...although Jurassic World was still better than Jurassic Park 3, so, I guess they're slowly getting better...............  didn't finish watching JW:Dominion...)