This argument is always appalling when I see it:

"The definition of marriage predates recorded history," said New York State Catholic Conference Executive Director Richard E. Barnes.

What the heck does that have to do with anything? THIS COUNTRY is almost 300 years old. THIS COUNTRY states: life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. THIS COUNTRY - which was considered "radical" at the time of its formation b/c NOTHING LIKE IT had EVER BEEN DONE BEFORE - has, as of this writing, spent OVER HALF of its existence defending the notion that black people are dogs and women are robots. And keep in mind that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME OTHER DICTATOR LED COUNTRY; I'm talking about a land where FREEDOM - supposedly - reigns. Whatever prejudices happen to predate history itself I don't think mean anything.

i can't believe its true

Well, I'm pretty sure I told you all (yeah, there's just so many of you, I know...) that I sold my First Japanese pressing of INVISIBLE TOUCH by Genesis. It hasn't been a big departing, 'cause I have a cassette of it that suits me fine mostly, but I do wish I had kept the copy I had before I went ahead and sold the 1stJP...I managed to get the "other" Japanese pressing sold (locally...) about a few hours before the 1stJP came in the mail...
pardon me if I get off track a little, but I think this is a little bit interesting: Japanese CDs are known for their superior sound quality, but the USA used to pay Japan to make CDs before the USA started manufacturing CDs them/our-selves...and if the Japanese make better CDs than the USA, that obviously means that USA CDs are inferior to Japanese CDs...the REASON Japanese CDs sound better is b/c the Japanese take pride in their work; Americans don't. The Japanese will spend more $ to make better sounding CDs so they can show off their legacy to the world (or something like that...). Americans just want as much money as they can get their hands on, even if it's impossible for them to spend it all before they/we die...and then their kids inherit it and don't appreciate it one bit. But anyway...my point is that the ink on the disc itself says it was "made in Japan", but it was sold/distributed in the USA; you can know this b/c the cover art reflects the record company as Atlantic, whereas the copyright holder of Genesis' music overseas is not Atlantic, but rather Virgin. The FIRST Japanese press I had as well as a UK pressing of Genesis' 2nd CD (TRESPASS, from 1970) both state Virgin Records on their cover art. So, to sum it up, the Non 1st-JP of INVISIBLE TOUCH doesn't sound as good as the 1st-JP b/c the making of was paid for by the USA, since the USA did not yet have manufacturing plants for CDS set up yet...

But anyway...on MY system (which isn't really a "system" per say, just a DVD player hooked up to a analog TV) both copies sound the same, 'cause my system is worthless to any audiophile. The small details on the USA-Japan pressing don't show up at all, I would think the Japanese (first) pressing would reveal at least SOME of the sounds I never hear on the USA-Japan press, but I thought wrong. I guess that's what I get for assuming stuff about something I know virtually nothing about (i.e.: technology/science).

And since I sold the USA-Japan press, I am, after all, left with just a cassette...I would like to get a shelf system, since to get my DVD player to function as a CD player of any quality, I'd need at least by speakers, which may be all I would need, but the fact that I'm not sure of that shows how little I know about electronics and how far I need to stay away from things like hooking components to each other and stuff...a mini HI-FI system is A LOT safer and easier to use...and you can get much better sound from one of those than a DVD player with no speakers...well...maybe if I had an HDTV, my CDS would sound better, but I don't have $600+ to spend on one of those and a mini HI-FI system is about $100-150; that's like 4 x less the price...and I'll need to save up for a MHFS anyway, so HELL NO to paying for a nother TV...

ok...I just now got to the tip of the ice berg about the reason I'm writing this...hold on, we're over halfway done...I just made a reference to wanting to buy a min-HIFI system...THAT'S (sorta) why I'm writing this...

I HAVE FOUR (4) CDS!! Well, maybe 6...and I'm totally lost as to what to add to that group. The TOP thing I know of to add is a GENESIS CD. But I'm not a FAN of Genesis, I don't drool over most of their music, but even though I just sold my unpteen millionth copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH, that CD is MY ("ANTI"-) DRUG!! I turn to it even when I'm not in the mood to listen to it and I go "argh!" like I just swallowed something nasty, but that CD has been in my life ever since I can remember, and as I got older and had a hard time dealing with my circumstances, that CD was something from an easier time that I could cling to, and after listening to it from the age of 3-9, repeatedly, it's like INGRAINED in my head (like a fungus some might say...).

But seriously; what's with this? I used to make up excuses/reasons to sell stuff that I sorta knew I was going to re-buy later, but lately it just seems like even though I actually HAVE/had reasons to sell INVISIBLE TOUCH, it just sickens me...this will be the FOURTH TIME I bought that ridiculous slice of silliness...and the reasons I had for selling the other three were not *GREAT* reasons anyway; I should have kept the previous copies until I KNEW they were no longer going to be needed...I swear, I had made up my mind to keep this one copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH that I had and had even kept it for awhile (several months...) proving my will to KEEP it, but then I sold it before I even PAID for a replacement/upgrade...then I went back to the eBay listing I was "legally obligated to pay for", and noticed their grading of the item was different than what I interpreted it as when I had first read it...(the wording was kind of jumbled looking to my eyes, since I have astigmatism but for some reason I bid'd on it anyway and then sold the copy I already had ---- MAAHAHAHAHAHAHADNESS!!!!).

I tried to appear logical, and went without a copy of that CD I had betrayed my trust to, but after awhile I knew I had to buy it...so I went ahead and bought one that was like $4.00 including S&H...and then I sold that one...and got another one...and sold that one 'cause, like I said, I assumed I knew at least a little bit about electronics.

Neither of the last two copies I bought should have happened...I DON'T HAVE A "PROPER" CD PLAYER! But now i intend to get one within the next 6 months...of course, after writing this horrendously long draft, I know how dumb it is to be buying another copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH just yet...but still...I'll need to buy another one...yes; ANOTHER one...I swear, I'm not kidding, I've bought that CD AT LEAST 15 times...the first 11+ times I bought it, it was b/c I "wanted" it...after two years or almost of being closer to sane/smart, it's hard to know/remember what kind of logic I was using when I thought "this CD isn't worth keeping; I'm gonna sell it"; honestly, it just doesn't make sense to me! MY OWN THOUGHTS don't make sense to me! Maybe this is what maturity is? Have I FINALLY grown out of adolescence?

hunger strike

I'm listening to Temple Of The Dog's "Hunger Strike", which gets/was-getting heavy rotation on RAGE 103.7 here in Cape Girardeau (ok, the song just ended..."Linger" by The Cranberries is now playing on my 7-song Rhapsody playlist...); that song is SOOO atmospheric! It, to me, defines the early 90's, bringing to mind images from films like DRUGSTORE COWBOY and SINGLES (both starring Matt Dillion, BTW; what's up with that?) and all kinds of...idk; that cover art for Pearl Jam's VS. would go well with that song; and Pearl Jam were part of "The Seattle movement" or whatever, in case you don't get the connection. Oh, did I make it clear that "Hunger Strike" is atmospheric in a kind of Seattle-ish way? I know this is like an urban legend, I know grunge and related music styles didn't birth in Seattle, but it seemed like a lot of people at least used to think it did; people may have gotten more knowledgable, idk...but Seattle, to me, is like the definitive town for all things alternative. "Brick" by Ben Folds is now playing on my 7-song-Rhapsody-playlist and even that reminds me of Seattle in the early 90's, even though the song was more like late 90's and I don't think the band originated in Seattle...I think you know what I mean though...maybe it's the rain people always speak of in relation to Seattle combined with all the Nirvana-ish happenings...actually, I think that's prolly it.
I'm kind of a melancholly person, in case you haven't guessed. Lately, I've been feeling more depressed than melancholly, and I can now see a distinguished difference between the two. But I like feeling melancholly. I swear, "Hunger Strike" is so definitive of all things melancholly, it's like a happy song - ! Ok, maybe that's an overstatement...

this is a WORD document that I decided to share with "the world"...

WHY DO I KEEP PAYING FOR THIS CRAP?
I just got Nirvana’s Nevermind and Counting Crows’ August And Everything After in the mail today (in one package), and was, unexpectedly, somewhat joyous at having them - for the millionth time.


If I had every CD I ever bought - as in KEPT every CD I ever bought - I’d have A LOT of CD’s. The fact is most of the ones I no longer have I’m fine with no longer having. But then there’s “awesome” CDs, Cds that would be awesome with or without cover art, that get BORING after 3 or 4 attentive listens. And I’m left with the memory of the taste, but no taste buds left (so to speak…). People’s answer to that is “buy MORE CDS”, but…WHAT Cds??? I do get tired of stuff quickly, but let’s just face the facts: junk is junk and 99% of what’s on the shelves at CD stores IS JUNK. It’s either too noisy, too “pretty”, or too “avant garde” (I.e.: ALL style, NO substance). Then there’s music like Radiohead that are just too DEPRESSING; I’m not talking about melancholy; I love melancholy. I’m talking about so sick of everything I could just DIE. And, sometimes I’m just too depressed to feel comforted by melancholy and too depressed to be uplifted by intrusive happiness…that’s when things really get confusing for me.

I have a list of 23 CDS; I wasn’t sure what to call the list, so I decided to write this essay/memoir/thingy to go with it. I need to know that most art, good or bad, IS pretentious and overly worshipped and priced. I need to know that I’m gonna look at my collection and want to throw up. I need to know that music isn’t what makes me happy, but rather music is what enhances the happiness I already have, when I do have it.

wow, it's like...you know me!

http://rhaplinks.real.com/rhaplink?rhapid=4700469&type=playlist&title=Playlist&from=bbdms

This song is soooo worn out, but before that happened, this song brought life to my veins. Fun yet emotional. I identify with the line in the song that says "I just got to get myself over me".

can't sleep

It's 3:38 am where I'm at (Cape, MO), and I cannot sleep...so I'm messing around with my blog...

cc pt 2

I guess I haven't really "decided", I just more or less could just not care about having a credit card, so I'm just not gonna activate it. At least that's the notion I have right now. I don't need a credit card for anything, I don't want to pay $150+ for HAVING a credit card that I don't need or badly want for any purpose...

noooooooooooo...

I found myself fancying the prospect of (eventually) buying a Sony boombox, then after, like, 10 minutes (ok, it was probably only like 5 minutes...), I was like "I don't have hardly any CDs!!! And I don't know what else to add to what little I already have!!!! Why the heck do I need a CD player of ANY kind????"...the more harrowing question, that I cannot find an answer for, is why is this the case?? There's like 10 billion CDs (at least, I'd think...) hovering in around and above + below this planet, and none of them are worth buying!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I've probably just worn out the ones I do "like", but you'd think with 30+ years of rock & pop, there'd be more to be wowed by other than a select handful of bands/artists...

cc

I got a "pre-approved" offer for a credit card...this time I decided to sign up for it, since it had been awhile since I got one (not that I blame them; I have like 100 different debts...). the main idea I had when I signed up was to get a shelf system with it, one that I saw on Target's website, then looked for at other sites to see if there was a better price. Circuit City has it for $125 w/ S&H & tax and one reviewer at some site I looked at said it would hold up through the years. My mom has a shelf system from the same company (SHARP), and it's lasted her almost 10 years.
The thing is this: I don't have a lot of CDs anyway, and I don't know what to add to my collection to make it more significant. And I'm not THAT picky about sound quality, so you'd think a $20 (or maybe $40) boombox would suffice; thing is, just about every boombox I've looked at has like a 2 1/2 star average rating on sites like Amazon.
Plus the card has a $150 annual fee, which isn't all that encouraging, but at the same time...idk...it'd just be nice to have that little bit of extra flexibility, I guess, instead of living on a set $637/mo until the SSI office decides that isn't enough (they usually raise it about $10-$30 at the beginning of every year). It just seems like a lot of payment and so little payoff.
I'm still thinkin' though.

poem: WOODSTOCKER

Is it easy for you to kill every beautiful thing, with your Midas touch?
Is it easy to buy happiness?
How do you sleep at night? What kind of lies do you tell yourself to convince you that what you do is right?
You fucked up Batman in ‘97, fucked up Woodstock in ‘99
Do you even have a heart to follow?
Your shit is hard to swallow
How does being hollow feel?