Hope

God is for "us" but who is "us?"  As far as my eye can see, i do believe.  But i have minimal inclination to act on that faith and the promise of salvation is conditonal; if you don't blaspheme the Holy Spirit you're eligible but you lose it if you fail to forgive others.  People try to spin that around replacing the breathe of God with words not found in any Bible translation.  Jesus says HEAVEN AND EARTH SHALL PASS AWAY BUY MY WORDS WILL NEVER PASS AWAY. 
And i do recall the apostle Paul talking about churchgoers arriving who are destined for destruction.  He even seems to be referring to mutations such as myself at one point; saying something about a coming day when gluttenous arrogant people know the Word but are unaffected by it.  Jesus didn't say anything about miniscule spiritual growth.  He said BEAR MUCH FRUIT.  He also said His desciples will be recognized by the ability to cast out demons and perform miracles but not everyone who does these things will enter Heaven.
I guess I do have a backlog of crap to clean out.  25 years isn't "old" but is "a long time"....i was almost 30 before I wisened up to the reality that I don't have a say in the existence of life after death or what that existence is.