The 39th Parallel View Into Madness' Steps

This photo looks like I have absolutely nothing to complain about like "woah, he's got a nice stack of movies". That's the lie that photographs make you believe.  Heck, even I can't help but be in awe of my collection because it's presented in a nice little rectangular view.  But when its in front of you for real it's just annoying.
Most of my movie collection is fairly neat and tidy.  Back To The Future should be in Blu ray format, but that movie is just so darn incomparable in its vision and execution, not to mention it makes no sense and yet you can't help but find the beauty in its' optimistic view and thunder-sized comedic moments.
But then I have Mr. Holland's Opus kinda stuck in the middle between a bunch of Blu ray discs.  It sticks out like a sore thumb.  And it's annoying because A) I bought the damn thing and I know that NObody is going to pay me more than $0.25 to take it off my hands (RRR), and buying it on blu ray would be even more expensive -- A LOT more expensive.  Not like out of this world crazy but for someone who just got a credit card less than a month ago and has already accrued apprx $500 worth of debt, $20 seems like a lot to be spending on something I'll probably end up buying again in a proper edition, made by Hollywood, complete with a 4K restoration, and maybe an audio commentary with the director and Richard Dreyfus and some of the other cast perhaps.  (R.D. is still alive right?  It seems like the dudes who weren't all that old back in 1979 are freakin' ancient all of a sudden; I know I was born after 1979, but I feel like I was a bystander during it all, as if I was born 10 years sooner than the mid 80's time frame that I indeed was and I was just a couple or so years away from being born before The Exorcist came out.)

Yea, I know.  I'm awake at 12:32 AM just to gripe about having an awesome movie collection.  I should quit this!!!!  DIE YOU AWFUL NEGATIVITY, DIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  

Please, God, Holy one of Heaven, Creator and Sovereign Eye of the Universe, please, take pity on my wretched self, and cast my petty concerns into the deepest pit of Hell so that my face may cease to be obscured by them.  Thank you for the vast multitude of blessings you have showered upon me both presently and throughout my life history as it stands today.  Please enable me to be Your hands and feet.  In the name and by the mighty resurrection of The Beautiful Lord Jesus I pray all of this.  Amen.

Difficult softness

DIFFICULT SHAPES PASSIVE RHYTHMS, SOME PEOPLE THINK IT'S FUN TO ENTERTAIN......

This CD is interesting.  It's like soft rock and AOR combined.  Kind of reminds me of a different take on early 80's Genesis, especially their self titled album.  That one wasn't as laid back as this stuff here is, so it managed to catch people's attn better, but when you consider songs like "Taking It All Too Hard" and "It's Going To Get Better", along with random hodgepodge like "Illegal Alien" and "Silver Rainbow", it's got an interesting parallel.  Nothing on this album has the pounding drum machine heard on the bulk of "Silver Rainbow", or the dynamic rhythm of "It's Going To Get Better".

The song "African And White", I've read, was released as a single and it did sorta OK, but not well enough for anyone you talk to at random to have heard it, and even those who did probably don't remember it.  That particular song is probably the most dynamic driving song on here.  But even that one has this just ridiculously laid back feel, that most people in this day n' age just don't want in their music, regardless of whether it's straight up rock or pop.

Aanyway.  

Was doing great on my The Bible reading for about a week or so.  Then just started letting time slip by right before my eyes yet again.  Need to get back into the spirit(!).  RISE!

Ok, guess that's all.  There was something I'd throught to write awhile back, a few days ago?, but I don't remember what it is.

Censorship

It amazes me how people look at the social climate of the '50s and '60s and shake their heads in disapproval over the kinds of things that were illegal or limited in their existence.

For instance; NAKED LUNCH, by William S. Burroughs, among many other books in that general time frame, had to go through the courts to be legally published.  Under what at the time was legally assumed to be common sense, NAKED LUNCH was banned for being "obscene".  
Now people are asking a publisher, Facebook, to basically judge the content that people post on their website and issue some kind of punishment for repeat offenders.  I don't understand why anyone would read something on Facebook if they think it's so unthinkable.  If someone posts content that you think is harmful, cut them from your friends' list!  If your friends are friends with people who post things that you can't stomach, same rule applies!  I have not read any hate speech or bigotry on Facebook, because I am friends with people who are friends of Love.  Sure, there's a lot of anti-Democrat and snide remarks about the gov't encouraging promiscuity by letting people get abortions for any every reason, and I don't expect all the people on my friends list to post flattering remarks about myself either.  And I don't get how you can be so ardently against Mark Zuckerburg about "Misinformation" -- People always think they know something for reasons other than actual knowledge.  People in school get taught all kinds of stuff and because we feel a need to trust, we assume the things we learn in school are true.  People who witnessed JFK's assasination assume they didn't hallucinate the event, which does seem like a relatively safe assumption given how many of them there were -- assuming what I learned in school and the existence of that Oliver Stone movie and several books on the matter are fundamentally true.  I personally think it's virtually a 100% likelyhood, maybe 1 millionth of a % less than, that those media outlets and educational resources that the gov't has provided are not lying or being mislead by some conspiratorial group of being(aliens?The Adjustment Beareu?)

But my point is that there are tons of facts that go way beyond the simple statement that JFK was assassinated in November 1963 in Dallas, TX.  There are all kinds of facts that surround that situation that many people have been informed of and I'm almost positive that at least 5% of the information that gets passed about JFK's death is purely speculation and quite possibly is not true.  But there are people who are extremely arrogant and / or stubborn and they think they know things because they for whatever reason trust the person who told them, even though the person that told them probably was just talking out of their ass for entertainment value, not having much to say elsewise at the moment.

So of course Mark Zuckerberg's publishing platform is going to have misinformation.  Of course people are going to say hateful things as well as things that express hate toward this or that.  Ignorance, hate and bias are going to be in print just as long as humans roam the Earth.

the worm and the heart

 and the worm came upon Jesus and, in awe and adoring, said to Jesus, "Sir, are you my ma'am El?"

Jesus scratched his head.  "Uhh.....uh..hm.  No?..."

Ok, now that I got that out.
Been feeling walled in.  I don't know what to make of it.  I feel like I'm condemned by the people who live with me.  I have a well traversed history of being angry and stating it in an angry fashion.  I'm slowly learning the value of staving off anger and, more so, to speak not of it.  I spoke rather harshly to my sister two or 3 days ago, and I still have not found the will to give any kind of heartfelt apology and I feel like she's just biding her time until I can be whirled up out of her life or something.  I can't afford to move out and she might barely be able to, if she wanted me out badly enough.
I have only a fundamental notion of what she believes and it basically consists of Godly living doesn't cost money and therefore I'm evil for buying things.  I don't set aside money for random emergencies and I don't save up for things like my TV burning out.  Credit cards are evil, so it is imperative that I save up or else I'm a slave to the credit card companies.  My disagreement is insignificant because she has a degree in accounting and I don't have a degree in accounting.  Therefore she's my boss and I don't submit to her authority therefore she's transferring representative payee status to someone else.  This is going to take at least a month (maybe 27 days, same freakin' thing) and nobody has any actual knowledge of what this is going to accomplish and nobody cares because she insists upon taking the general guidelines for being a representative payee to the very last letter and doing so is too stressful for her to carry out.  So unless my psychiatrist signs off on me being my own representative payee I have no idea what's going to come of anything.  As far as I'm concerned I have no money to buy anything.  Hopefully I'll be able to maintain at least paying the minimum payment on my Amazon . com store card and have access to Spotify.  Beyond that, I don't know if I'm going to be punished for tithing.  I'm not planning to buy Christmas gifts beyond what I've already bought.  I have no ability to plan anything.  My sis told me a month or two ago that reppayees appt'd by gov't take a cut of the money.  How much?  I have no idea.  My sister never bothered writing out a lease, so I'm technically not even paying rent.  I'm basically just giving my sister some money to help her out with the cost of things.  How is that rep payee going to respond to that?  For all I know, if (s)he's as tight ass as my sister, I may have my SSI revoked entirely.  DAMN.  I'm thinking that *probably* won't happen.
My mom and my sister talk a good talk about righteousness and a lack of anger, but seem incapable of behaving in a manner that isn't cold and inconsiderate and / or downright infuriating.  I just need to quit expecting anything out of people.  Only God adds value to anything born out of humans.