I wouldn't have 5 star feedback on Amazon if some sellers had their way...

This is the fact, from what I can see:
The free market world is run by greed and selfishness.  People don't donate, they buy.  They buy based on advertising, whether it be loud and obnoxious ads like TV & radio, or just posting a listing on eBay with the idea in mind that if you build it they will come.  The ads must be honest.  If not, the free market world is no longer anything of meaning, and people have no reason to keep shopping unless someone threatens their life or the life of someone they care about.  But that's not free market.  That's a sequel to Goodfellas.  Whoever reads this and doesn't get it, I guess you should be locked up and put away from civilization.  That probably won't happen though because the justice system has become too soft on crime, largely in part because society has become soft on crime, meaning that most people do not have a sharp sense of morality.  People keep bending the rules until the rules no longer exist.
  But as I was saying, the free market is not The Salvation Army of ChildFund.  The free market is people getting stuff they want or need in exchange for pieces of paper good for stuff the person/people selling the stuff-people-get might want or need.  In a market that is as strong as the USA's, it is illogical and harmful to the strength of the market to donate if you can barely make ends meet.  I only make $700/mo and I have in the past donated.  The market is a very complicated puzzle that I have spent lots of time pondering.  And what I'm writing here is what I have concluded.  And when I say "can barely make ends meet", I mean if there's stuff you want that you can't have, buy it first, then donate if you can.  Even if it's only a few cents, that can go a long way with 300 million citizens doing the same thing as dirt poor people are in countries that a lot of people in the USA have never been to.
  What really bothers me, as a member of the free market, is sellers who think buyers owe them something, like Best Buy and many sellers on eBay, and a lot of your Ma & Pa stores.  If someone buys something by mistake, either b/c they didn't read the fine print or b/c the product was advertised incorrectly, or a buyer ends up with something that breaks in a few months and they paid more than they would have expected to for something of such short longevity, the seller shouldn't act like the buyer promised the seller anything.  Re-stocking fees do make sense if the buyer is too stupid to understand or read the "Fine Print" or the item breaks down within what the buyer insists is an unfair amount of time for the price they paid for it & the seller begs to differ.  Of course, there's usually a "standard return policy" that big box retailers like WalMart, Best Buy, Target etc. have, and that should not include any sort of re-stocking fee, IMO, unless the buyer is just being wishy washy in their decision making and nonetheless opened the product and devalued it.  That's not to say the stores I just mentioned HAVE re-stocking fees toward buyers who open and use something they weren't even sure why they bought, but if they did, I wouldn't complain.  I would just be more careful about what I buy and why.  And I don't know if WalMart & co. have any sort of exceptions to the standard return policy.  They might have at one time or another, before they started waving their "extended warranty" coverage in buyer's faces, making it known that if you don't buy the extra warranty, you either need to pray that it breaks within 3 months to a year (depending on the product), or buy the warranty and know that in 3 years or whenever the extended warranty you might have bought wears out, you very well might need to buy another one of X item...kind of odd, IMO.  WalMart and all the big retailer giants have basically concluded that anything you buy isn't made to last more than 3 years.  Maybe 4 if you buy an expensive TV...seems kind of sad.
  So, yeah...anyway; for now I have 5 star feedback on Amazon b/c they don't count seller feedback.  Sellers have left me good feedback, but it didn't help my rating at all.  All it does is show people that I'm not a total con artist.  When you see people say that I'm difficult to deal with or some b.s. like that, just know it means that I am a buyer who does not put up with sHpit from sellers who can't keep their promises.  Word.

"Are you stupid or something?"

Ok, a Roku & a TV = Rdio & Pandora, not to mention NetFlix etc.  RokuLT $50.  A TV is $150.  Why would I get a new computer instead of those two things?

STALKING BOOKS AT THE COFFEE SHOP

Now that I have my Roku LT, I don't need to ever buy a single thing from Barnes & Noble or any other media retailer.  No longer shall I consume my delicious latte and pretend that sucking it from the accompanying cup is not the only reason I leave my house.
  Wait, it's not the only reason for leaving the house; I still need nutrients to keep my body going.  If I wasn't living on food stamps I could order them from Schnucks and have them delivered to my door.
  If I wasn't too stupid to read, I could go to B&N and buy brand new hardcover editions of books by my favorite authors.
  At least I know I'm stupid; brick & mortar store owners will soon have the ground removed from their feet and complain about it, coming off bitter and arrogant.  The obvious truth is they could have invested their $ in the stock market like Warren Buffet and Martha Stewart did.  They either have some undefined prejudice against doing so or are too stupid to know how to do it right.  People like that deserve the minuscule amount of money that welfare provides.  The sad fact is they'll have the ground removed from their feet and no one will help them stand up because selfishness and blind materialism are a virtues in the eyes of lawmakers.

all i want for the rest of my life is Rdio/Grooveshark (or equivalent) and the ability to use it!

No Blu ray player
No TV
No DVD player
No Roku

'nuff said.

I will not replace my computer usage with a Blu ray player
I hardly ever use my TV
I hardly ever use my DVD player
I will not replace my computer usage with a Roku

Maybe inner peace (ain't happenin', i don't think)
Or some sort of ultra-happiness, ya know?  Maybe in Heaven, later on?
Oh, and of course headphones, and a DVD/CD drive for the computer I might get
And some CDs and DVDs would be nice

That's all.

If I let myself die of the flue would that be good enough?

Perhaps The Bible says...I'm not interested enough in the various bits of subject matter contained in it to bother reading all 2K+ pages of it.  But just by hearing what people say, it's hard to tell.  On one hand, life is precious, yet on the other hand, this Earth is meaningless compared to the afterlife and all that lay ahead for humanity.  So if I savor what little beauty stand before my senses and let death take me away without fighting it, is that bad?  I don't see how that is.  I would think for a normal person, someone whose more in touch with society and love for their fellow man and all that, it might be better to spread their life around, in the spirit of giving etc., but I have nothing to offer my fellow man.  I have no interest in having anything to offer my fellow man.  Well, I do have some interest, but not enough to make anything of it.  I'm a drain on society.  All that I've done for my fellow man was be born so my mom would have a reason to keep living and eventually become ReBorn.  I'm guessing that was God's purpose for putting me here.  So, really, not committing suicide is a rather cowardly act.  It's based on instinct, self-preservation I guess...fear of Death more like it...but there's nothing to fear, right?  Based on observation, it seems like death is traditionally dealt with by force.  You don't call it, it calls you.  But I am not a traditional person.  Grg.

Things Shaped In Passing

Pandora plays me a Bank Of America ad.  Followed by a song titled "Seems Like Most Everything Used To Be Something Else".  Is this a subliminal stab at their own sponsor?  A little more subliminal is the follow up to THAT, a song "If I Still Still, Maybe I'll Get Out Of Here".  Both are good songs, BTW.  But still, ya gotta wonder...

the empire submits - godspeed you-u!

WOW.  I had heard 3 or 4 songs by these guys on my local modern rock station coupled with various online radio sources.
  THIS is AMAZING.  I listened to NEVER TAKE FRIENDSHIP PERSONAL (2005) and didn't really care much for it.  I checked NEW SURRENDER out from the library, was more fond of that, but THIS is AMA-ZING.  (emphasis on Zing!)
  (Zing!).
I sold THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 2disc limited edition yesterday, after having bought it a few hours earlier that day (yeah, you know, THAT day?...).  For those who aren't already fainting at those two facts put together, let me give you some back story.  George Lucas has committed himself to f*****ng up the STAR WARS legacy by making a 2nd trilogy and fidgeting around needlessly with the first one.  He gave in to fans demand for the ORIGINAL original trilogy to be released on DVD by releasing a somewhat shoddy master of the films on DVD.  But now they are out of print.  So the fact that I bought the 2nd installment of the original trilogy yesterday is amazing.  What's even more amazing is it was only $15 apprx.
  So naturally, since it was OOP, I made some profit.  Eleven dollars to be more specific.  Yeah, I could have savored the moment and bought RETURN OF THE JEDI and eventually A NEW HOPE (my local store that was selling ESB and ROTJ didn't have A NEW HOPE at that time...).  But A) I'm not a big fan of the STAR WARS trilogy.  I'm not a big fan of any movie.  There's movies I like, there's movies I like a lot, probably none that I HAVE to have.  GHOSTBUSTERS is a sound investment b/c it's become a part of me, after most of my childhood spent watching it and its sequel.  And it's a good++ movie so it's watchable on that level too.  Aside from that though there's very few movies I feel compelled to watch time and time again.  A CLOCKWORK ORANGE and THE EXORCIST are two (other) examples.  I sometimes enjoy Gregg Araki's 'nowhere' and Rankin/Bass' THE LAST UNICORN.  I probably re-watch those films more than most other films.
  So anyway.
  When the funds for ESB come to my bank acct, I can buy CITIES(!!).
  And...um...hmm...my roommate moved out yesterday.  I miss her already.  It was nice having her around.  Yesterday I was quite saddened.  I was fine today until I looked in the pantry and it was almost empty.  I almost cried, no lie.  CITIES brightened my spirits tho.  It's supposedly a Christian CD, but it sounds like regular music to me.  I'm not fond of Christian radio b/c the songs just seem to corny.  They have bland lyrics that don't mean anything to me in any way whatsoever and the melodies are almost as bland.  Maybe if I was one of those people that could honestly say I love Jesus/God, it might be different.  I don't hate God like I once did.  Sometimes I wonder weather I dislike him, but it really doesn't matter.  I don't like going to church/parties/social events, and aside from evangelical donations, there's really nothing I can do to prove myself in his eyes.  If I don't have enough faith or whatever it is that makes someone a "Christian", then I guess I'm going to Hell.  Not much else to it.  But I do like this Anberlin CD.  I'd call it a emo with a bit of pop/punk mixed in.
 

Too much sunshine

The sunshine screams through all windows of this house, this empty house, this big empty house
This house screams her name, begging her to come back, tugging at my soul, tearing at my eyes, demanding grief
I guess this is why I've been ignoring her, more or less
I knew this would happen
In a way it already had
Today it's official, but it's been this way for almost a week
I still get her mail
Sometimes it's hard to register these kinds of things

Nothing For Christmas

I guess I saw a future between us
I’m not sure what kind
Maybe a miniature friendship
I don’t hate you
I just hate how I feel when I think about you

You don’t deserve coal in your stockings
I wish you all the best
But I know I’ll never have
Anything to do with it

What the hell was I thinking
I’m not sure
 what if
Maybe you don’t give a damn
I don’t hate you
I just hate how I feel when I’m around you

You don’t deserve coal in your stockings
I wish you all the best
But I know I’ll never have
Anything to do with it

(guitar solo?)

You didn't forget my birthday did you?

Yep.  I'm 28.  And what have I done?  Nothing?  Um...yeah...anyway.  I had a German chocolate cake.  My mom has been very sick as of late, one thing after another, some on top of each other.  So she had to buy it, it tasted good.  Hey!  My sister won me a GHOSTBUSTERS "plush buddy" from The Claw machine at her local WalMart.  I think she mailed it a couple days ago, it might arrive tomorrow (I know it's for the greater good, but I gotta savor these Saturday deliveries while I can!!).  My mom got me my gifts early, my Gramma AND my Mom's housekeeper Beverly got me $20 (each!).  Unfortunately I spent the vast majority of my gift from Gramma before Beverly gave me hers.  So I had $31 as opposed to the $53 I would have otherwise had...which is important b/c $53 would have been enough to buy that $50 BD player that Best Buy had for a few days, but on the other hand I would have felt washed out if I had spent all my $ on one thing, so I guess it worked out well either way...I bought the new Lindqvist book HARBOR.  He's the guy who wrote LET ME IN aka LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.  I think MOST people think the book is titled LET THE RIGHT ONE IN b/c the softcover had that title printed on it, and the softcover had that print on it b/c it was a movie tie-in, directed at people who had maybe seen or wanted to see the movie, which actually IS titled LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.  The original hardcover book of the text had the title LET ME IN printed on it, which is where the U.S. remake got its title from.  If the author of the book hadn't decided to come up with a whole new title when writing the screenplay for the movie, it wouldn't be so confusing!  But this is what happens when people's minds are allowed to turn to slush and details become irrelevant...Most people don't even know what a screenplay is!
I didn't actually read LET ME IN, although I did get about halfway through it.  I Just haven't felt like finishing it and it's been...6 months?  Maybe longer...since I last read from it.  This book might be the same way.  I paid a good chunk of $ for it, which makes me seem stupid I suppose...the list price was $26, but I had a 20% off coupon, which along with my B&N member discount, brought the total down to $18.  It would have been $13 or less if I'd bought it online.  The price last I checked was about $16, and 20% off that is like $3 or something like that...
 

"You have another one of those proton packs? My kid brother really wants one"

Well NOW HE CAN HAVE ONE!  Well, actually, this has been the case since 1986 or thereabouts...but for the last 15 years or so, that's only been the case on and off.  And it's still the case, actually.  There was a 5 year period in time, when nobody had internet access and the GHOSTBUSTERS toyline by Kenner was winding down, that buying a proton pack was quite difficult.

  I like the GHOSTBUSTERS 2 logo more so than the regular logo.  And the cartoon image of the "Powerpack Heroes"-ized Egon was a nice touch.  I liked his black w/purple highlights suit.
  I never actually owned the "Ecto-Charger" (known as a "Slime Blower" to those who don't read the label on the box of the Kenner toy, but were paying attention while watching GHOSTBUSTERS II), so I can't exactly reminisce about this on Amazon's product review page, so I came here to do that(!).  Mmmmmmmm...those are the days!

dream of pretty insects

I feel so unworthy, I feel in need, incapable of love, yet constantly yearning for it.  A hug of epic proportions that folds into itself onto the bed and into sex.  I’m an animal, very tame, domesticated, very much, but disgusting, disgusted, with myself, unshaven most times, sometimes filthy with the smell of my own sweat, uncaring enough of my life to take a shower twice or more a week.  I reek of loneliness and desperation, I hold no myths of my greatness, perhaps I do blow my lack thereof into mythic proportions, it’s not up to me.  If everyone wanted a piece of me, I’d feel secure.  They don’t.  I feel insecure.  I am a train wreck of a human being, unwilling to change for the fear of failure.  I feel I know I would fail.  I feel failure is inevitable.  I’m stuck in my skin, my skin is unfit for me, I just wish I were dead so my skin and worries can fade into the swamps.

THE DARK KNIGHT Trilogy

(Hopefully!) COMING CHRISTMAS 2012

Room

My Mom's friends Margaret had been planning to move in to me and my mom's house for some time...at least a month; she finally did, like 3? days ago...she made us french toast yesterday afternoon.

I got $6 from those 3 CDs & a book I had bought on impulse and never had enough interest in it to try to fit it in my media shelf, located in the closet.  Most of that $6 came from two of the CDs, can't remember exactly which ones...

I deleted the listing for Genesis' INVISIBLE TOUCH I mentioned having listed on Amazon.  I mean, my one and only friend bought it for me, even though I don't have most of what he's bought me in the past, and I know dang well I'll end up buying it again - and again, and again....I need to keep a special edition of it around so I can't get rid of it as easily!  Speaking of INVISIBLE TOUCH, I accidentally heard the remixed 2007 version of the title track on MySpace and found myself not really caring that much about the differences in sound between the original mix and the 2007 one.  The 2007 one packs more punch, albeit with more distortion, which I honestly don't have a problem with.  With so many different types of music INTENTIONALLY adding distortion, why can't Genesis?  I probably would say I prefer the 1986 mix by Hugh Padgeham over the 2007 Nick Davis remix if I hadn't heard the 1986 version so many times that I'm downright sick of it most of the time and *tolerating* it most of the rest of the time...
I need to read more.  So many books, so little time...idk...I just wish I could be more believable as somebody else, somebody with a bigger brain, and enough common sense to enjoy life more...I don't know why I always see those professor types, the ones with itchy jackets and a button up shirt underneath, and itchy pants (not sure what that material is called, they also make blankets out of that material), and a book in their hands, sitting in a chair that envelops them, and if they weren't in public you could just imagine them sitting in front of a fireplace with a pipe hanging out of their mouth...I see them and I think "I want to be him".  His life is probably not much better than mine, maybe he has more pride and dignity, maybe he enjoys his work...idk...I always feel like I have bugs crawling in my skin, just coursing through my veins, destroying my foundation slowly but surely so that I'll rot and lie stinking in the Earth when I'm 40...which I know, or at least I *think* I know is b/c of all the junk I eat.  I don't remember what I've eaten lately that would make me feel that way; maybe I drink too much milk/hot chocolate...my caffeine intake is probably too high b/c of that as well...and I haven't lost anywhere neat the weight I need to.  I still weigh at least 250 lbs...which is 60 lbs more than recommended...

I think I should transfer my favorite CDS to FLAC files and take SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET: THE BEST OF OINGO BOINGO and GHOSTBUSTERS: ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM and find a way to display them.  Maybe buy a few "vintage" VHS tapes, ones with super-great covers and display those and put my DVDs in a better place, hidden...my room in general needs to be cleaned, like DEEEEP.......I need to get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor, and pick up all the little pieces of trash I have laying around...then I really need to, when I get some moolah, buy a "TV stand" and put my stuff on it so I have more room, my "table" takes up WAAAAY too much room....dannnrg...ate too much candy today...I feel sick already...

to sell some gifts that I got...

EWW!  The only CDs I have are OLD!  Not like it matters really I have over half a dozen on MP3 CDs/CD-Rs...I just listened to The Get Up Kids' SOMETHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT, then Hidden In Plain View's RESOLUTION (which I also own on CD), followed by Mineral's THE POWER OF FAILING, and Senses Fail's LIFE IS NOT A WAITING ROOM and STILL SEARCHING, plus The Starting Line's SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT & last but not least WE THE KINGS by We The Kings...I was actually asleep through most of all those, but my subconscious still heard it (?)...I think it had been AT LEAST a month since I even touched that disc, probably much longer.  Most of the music on that MP3 CD is legally mine, some if it used to be...some of it wasn't legal at the time, but became legal...
But anyway; hopefully in less than an hour I'll be on my way to sell the most recent 3 CDs I own - not like recent as in "new release", but, ya know, recently acquired by me...New Order's INTERNATIONAL: THE BEST OF being 2002 (semi-old), The Smith's LOUDER THAN BOMBS (modern classic) and Hawthorne Height's SKELETONS (semi-recent).  The CDs I won't be selling are Phil Collins' BOTH SIDES, Hidden In Plain View's RESOLUTION and Oingo Boingo's SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET: THE BEST OF.  If anyone ever finds it, maybe I'll (eventually?) sell my Japanese mini-LP pressing of Genesis' INVISIBLE TOUCH, which will probably be replaced by a regular pressing.  I don't know when or if it will sell b/c Amazon's listings are so screwy.  If you type in 'GENESIS INVISIBLE TOUCH', it won't show up, but if you type in 'INVISIBLE TOUCH' it will.  Not to mention the CD has been out of print for several years, which means I'll get more $ out of it, but also means there's a lot less people to draw from.  I mean, the mini-LP replica was first released in 1999, and those mini-LP editions almost always go out of print, but they usually come back every year or two if the demand is strong enough.  That CD only came back once, in 2001 I think...the only reason I wanted the thing was b/c it's the only edition of that CD that I'm aware of that has been remastered w/o a bunch of remixing as well, which I should have known means very little if anything; most remasters don't really improve my enjoyment of the recording; Michael Jackson's BAD will always be Michael Jackson - BAD, even if the 2001 remaster is a little amped up in comparison to the original edition, which is hard to gauge without SOMETHING more than a DVD player playing through TV speakers.  And they don't make shelf systems that are worth anything anymore.  Sony has a bunch of shelf systems that are rated four+ stars by Amazon customers - but all of them are from 2010 or later; the ones from 2009 or older have 3 1/2 stars - you know why?  Because a lot of them failed to operate 3 years after purchase and a significant amount of 4 or 5 star reviews became 1-3 star reviews and some people who probably wouldn't have written a review otherwise probably jumped on deck as well...so I'm probably not going to be buying a Sony shelf system.  Panasonic has several, but I don't know if any of them are safe to put near TVS or computers, and there's no where in between that I can put a shelf system.  The cheapest shelf system I can find is $300, which is a rather big chunk of money that I don't even know if I'll ever have, and that shelf system, made by Yamaha, cannot be hooked up with my DVD player, which means concert DVDS and movies will still sound mediocre.  Actually, I take that back - I think Onkyo makes a fairly good+ unit that has inputs...I'll check in a moment......why am I writing?  Am I done?  I think so...

Oh, wait!  Great news!  My dormant friend Chris Gipson has joined gmail!  Hopefully this means I'll be in touch with him more via Gmail's built in chat feature...

The Wrath Of Silk (e.g.: nog)

WOW; WalMart is already selling egg nog and other kinds of nog - soy nog being one of them, a much healthier option, but A LOT less good tasting.  In fact, I wouldn't even say it tastes "good", whereas egg nog is pure greatness.
  But earlier that day I had a blood test to measure my cholesterol, and although I've lost 10 lbs in the past 3 months, my triglycerides have gone UP.  Which I suppose makes sense; I've eaten out at fast food and the like probably six times in the so far days of this month of October.  Maybe if I cut that in half, I'll be all right.  I also need to make sure when I buy lattes at Starbucks or a local cafe to make it a light latte, fat free if possible.  I keep forgetting about that.  I don't even remember the last time I had a light latte.
  I met with my case worker today, for the first time in, like, six(?) weeks...we had to keep rescheduling.  And we didn't talk much today.  She seemed in a hurry.
  I owe my Mom $18 for pizza, and my sister $8.  At least I'll have something...yay.
  Word on the web is Spencer's has a new truck load of GHOSTBUSTERS merch to swim through.  I'll have to make my way over there soon...
 

DURN YOOOOOU!!

Here's a simple fact that I realized today: YOU STUPID FKING IDIOTS ARE GONNA GO DEF BY AGE 40!!!  I'm 27, I don't exactly listen to whisper quiet music, but I could not BELIEVE how painful it was to go to Cartel's Facebook page and click on a song's "play" button.  I, who am smart enough to take the steps necessary to keep from going def by age 40, apparently need to shell out $400+ ASAP b/c my computer's volume control button was too frrrking slow for the speed of painful sound that was shooting me in the ears.  Whereas all the idiots who think going def is just some stupid myth adults made up for no good reason get special treatment with automatic topshelf loudness, no hassle needed.

got to admit...all the time...

I read another 25 pages, last night, of S.J. Watson's BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP.  So now I'm on page 65.  When I finish the chapter facing me I'll be on page 81.  I would do that now, but I am sooo tired.  I walked to Hastings to sell a few things, got $4.25 out of 'em, and spent $0.50 and the last of my food stamps at U Kwik Stop, got a surprisingly great(!) tasting Fritz Cream Soda + some fig bars.  Now I have $3.75, plus $0.61 in my bank account.  If I merge those two, I'll have over $4.25(!!).  I should be getting $5-$10 later in the month, that's probably two more weeks, or almost, from now, oh, and I also got two more CDs on the way, one of which I'll probably sell as well, get $1 or $2 from it...Since my sister would rather me give her my money to stash for future emergency rather than buy her something for Christmas, I guess it doesn't matter when I send her the $ I was planning on sending her...I could send her that toward the end of the month; $4 + $1 + $10...might be enough.  I promised her I'd send her $16 though, then there's the cost of the money order itself, which is at least $0.50...I'm still thinking...um...'til next time!

Before I Go To Sleep, Super

I think - maybe - I forgot to mention that I did a rare thing (for me) - I bought a current bestselling book.  BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP, by S.J. Watson.  And after almost a week of procrastinating, read 30 pages, like, a couple days ago.  Around that same time frame - 2-3 days ago - I watched SUPER, the whole thing(!) and enjoyed it a good bit.  I got allergies up the wazoo, but at least all other facets of my life seem to be seamlessly integrated at this time...ah; the weather....

library gains

Finally was/am able to check stuff out from the library this afternoon, after laying down $8.25 of the $11.50apprx that I owed them.  Now i have $0.60 in my bank acct and won't have any more until later in the month when I get $10 from Complete Savings.  I did request a refund for one of the items I bought on amazon that hasn't shipped yet...IF they act on my favor on that it'll only be $2.91, better than what I have now I suppose...just barely...and it's only the 3rd!

Ok, well...I've been on a diet as outlined by the case worker, haven't been doing too well with it.  I've been consuming about 120 carbs a day by my estimation...I'm supposed to eat fruits 3x daily and the ditto w/ veggies.

Haven't taken a shower in at least almost a week...need to do that!!  I finally brushed my teeth after a 3++ day break...argh...the weather's been really lovely though...

How I plan to survive the Republican apocalypse

I can't believe with all the money government wastes, the Republicans seem to want to cut SSI and medicaid first.  As far as my personal budget/situation goes, if Republicans cut $50/mo per recipient, it would be hard to swallow, but not impossible.  I live in a fairly nice neighborhood, which is nice considering I used to live in a ghetto.  It wouldn't be a big deal living in the ghetto once again.  The problem would be paying a deposit and finding a land lord that would let me have my two cats and knowing that my two cats will have to get used to living in a small space once again, not to mention the transition would be weird...just...idk...like always, I guess...like going to a new school is for most people...heck, I'd get nightmares about getting lost in the same high school that I'd been going to for the previous two years for several days during the month before the new school year started.

it would be rather difficult maintaining the apartment.  Heck, I haven't swept the basement/downstairs in over two weeks...and I haven't scooped the litter box this week, and I don't THINK any of the cats have gone elsewhere to do their business, but if I lived in an apartment, they would certainly at least dare; not only is an apartment (a regular/small one) less kind to a cat's wild instincts, but the smell from their litter box carries more.  Of course, I would take the trash out more often, try to keep the kitchen area clean(er), and try not to let the place rot like my old apartment almost did before my Mom and Sister stepped in and almost reversed the process.

Anyway...

Recently found out my sister is living in near poverty.  If she didn't have a car, I'd consider doing a fundraiser, lol...hopefully I can gather up a good $40 to send her for Christmas.  I would try to equal that for my mom, but she doesn't need it and I can get her something other than money, which I could tell her is a $40 value, which may be true, more or less...I mean, my Grandpa sent two $100 gift cards in the mail and a $70 Sony Walkman MP3 player.  How much do you want to bet he paid the same amount for the MP3 player that he did for each gift card?  You see, it all depends on where you buy X item...not to mention WHEN.  I mean, if I only spend $15 on Mom's Xmas gift and the item goes on clearance for $2, does that mean Mom's gift was only worth $2?  Yeah, I think I made my point...

Let me see if I can keep from segueing with "anyway" again...

Umm...

(not much better is it?)

ANYWAY!....

What was I gonna say?  Heck, I don't even know if I was going to say anything else...still can't think of anything,......going, going, alright, that's it.

xx

don't leave home w/o it

Or shall I say "don't leave WalMart without groceries and wait 'til you get home to realize you've done it".  But that's not really an order that needs to given, b/c after all, who'd do anything contrary to that?  Well, I would.  I have.  I hope I don't do it again...

Yep.  It was about $10 worth of stuff (a large sum of $ for a person in my circumstances).

You see, yesterday was the day I ponied up my dough and went grocery shopping pre-12th.  Just needed a few things - bread, coffee, and, um,...Oh yeah, cocoa; baking cocoa with sucrolose (sp?) mixed with hot milk can = hot chocolate!  And it's virtually fat and sugar free!

I also bought some boneless BBQ wings.  Shouldn't have done that.

I forgot to take my cholesterol medicine at least half of the previous week.  I took it on Saturday though and immediately proceeded to fill my pillbox and took them on Sunday too.  I'm supposed to take it before I go to sleep, so I haven't taken it today yet.

The weather here's been phenominal(sp??).  It's like a zombie film w/o the zombies...whut the...?  Anyway...

Um...gosh this is a boring post.  OH!  I wrote a WHOLE PAGE of one of my scripts.  It's been quite some time, quantity of which would be risky to even guestimate, since I toiled at screenwriting.  My problem has always been I can't make 'em long enough w/o making them boring.  AAAH!

Peace out
~Jonathan

monday, aug 29, The Conformist was sent back...

FINALLY returned THE CONFORMIST (1970) to NetFlix.  I kept it for like 5 days.  And I only saw about 7 minutes of it.  Total waste...but I think I might still have enough time to receive another movie before I cancel my membership...I would keep it, but I'm expecting to have to spend $35 minimum on groceries, and then there's the near mandatory Complete Savings cost - $7 - and that alone leaves me with $24 supposing I don't have to spend more money on groceries than I had thought...$24 - $9 = $15 which isn't much to work w/...I mean, I've got 5 movies from NetFlix this month and none of them were enjoyed by me.  The mailman actually came somewhat early too; well, he was "on time", but he could have been up to three hours later than he was considering Sunday all that incoming mail was just building up at the processing center...

Domino's Noid

Domino's Noid
HOLY SMIT, THIS IS FUNNY!

"It didn't seem to have much to do with pizza, but in 1989 the campaign went even further when a video game based on the character was released. However, the Noid turned out to be not only strange but also incendiary: in January 1989, a mentally ill man named Kenneth Noid held up a Domino's in Georgia, claiming that the chain was personally attacking him. Thankfully, no one was hurt, and Domino's abandoned the creepy pizza-hating Noid shortly thereafter."

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2090074_2090076_2090108,00.html #ixzz1WRO9lNfY

coffee pot rises

got a replacement coffee pot, for $6 at WalMart.  If it breaks down in two months and the one year warranty doesn't pan out, it's still a fairly OK deal...

I'm eating bread again...not like I went that long w/o it...but...I was thinking I would stay away from it...don't think that's gonna work...

so...I ordered Cartel's CHROMA (the original Militia Records version) a few days ago.  It might arrive today, not sure why or if I care...I've owned that album, like, 5(?) times...at least three anyway...I guess I bought it 'cause i was thinking I loved it when I first heard it so it must be worth owning...which may or may not be true depending on what version of the future turns out to be THE future...as well as what ideology one were to go by...I'm starting to think owning albums I seldom listen to is a total waste of time/money...I should re-join eMusic...maybe not...I mean, I already bought most of the albums I like/love; once I do that what does it matter if I own it?  Sure it decreases the value if I don't keep it, but why does it even matter?  If CDs are truly on their way out, then MP3 downloads, which can't be legally redistributed, should take care of that issue, if it really is one.  Of course, it really comes down to the fact that people don't have enough money to have everything they want.  People can't accept that so they take instead of buy.  I'd say "FBI - fire away!" but I think the root of the problem is so widespread, it would be like Vietnam - a war one can't win.  I'm not immune to it, I've downloaded quite a bit in my time, although I got caught and was given a warning, so I don't do it anymore...it's just a matter of greed and selfishness.  Rich people of course don't have any price to pay for being greedy or selfish, but the middle class and poor have no choice but to either join a convent or commit a crime...or, ya know, try to rise above temptation in a world where everyone else is giving in without even questioning their actions...

"gotta problem with plumbing (gotta problem with plumbing...}"

I think I have two favorite songs - "Losing Your Memory" by Ryan Star and "Obscurity Knocks" by The Trashcan Sinatras.

Ok.  Well, coffee pot is broken.  The accompanying carafe is cracked and there might be some other (mechanical) problem...looks like me and/or Mom will need to buy a new one...thankfully we got FIVE Complete Savings checks a couple days ago in the mail...(that's $50 for those of you - whoever the heck you are - who aren't in the know...).

After budgeting how much food we'll need, I came to the conclusion that my mom must have been putting her neck out big time.  We've been going - I think - at least $30 over budget on food, maybe $50, although we have some misc. cash in the "household fund", I don't think we have THAT much, probably no more than $20...so that means my mom has been paying at least apprx $20 out of her own pocket to feed me and her (mostly me; she doesn't eat very much...).

So I'm gonna pay for the food in Sept.  I might do that again in October.  At some point hopefully we can split it evenly, or at least arrange it so I'm paying no more than 3/4 (maybe 2/3...I'd hope...) of the excess food budget.  Hopefully that'll happen sooner than later...but anyway...

I signed up to NetFlix for the first time in what feels like AGES on the 3rd of Sept.  By Friday I should have my FIFTH movie from them.  It'd be GREAT if I got a sixth one before the membership renews, but I'm not counting on it...well, maybe I am but I'm trying to be modest about it, idk...

I think it might make more sense to get computer speakers of a higher caliber, or hi-fi headphones rather than a receiver and speakers etc....I mean, how many CDs do I actually own?  Right now I have five, and I plan/hope to get maybe 2 or 3 more...there's some music items I think I might want to buy, but I doubt I'd keep them...most of the music I listen to is "indie" music, which isn't recorded with the kind of concern that "major" label music is.  So I'm not sure my listening gear needs to be so strict...I like how receivers and CD players look.  I don't know what it is, I guess I have fond memories of that kind of stuff...my father had a lot of high end audio gear.  He's been gone since I turned 7, I last saw him in person when I was like 12 or so...but I probably remember a bit more from my pre-K-garden days than most people do...I remember how impressed I was by seeing the CD tray open and hearing the creaking guitar sound of Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" (my dad used to have the soundtrack).  It's been a LONG time since I felt that kind of deep excitement by hearing that sound.  Most of the time I barely notice it, except after the opening scene in GHOSTBUSTERS II, where I think they slightly modified it to have a bit more of a creepiness to it.  I swear, it sounded like a ghost was laughing in a really demonic way when Dana was picking up her baby and that white swoosh that pieced together to form the GB2 no-ghost insignia was appearing...of course, a lot of you (and by "you" I mean everybody in the planet in general, which I guess means "nobody") probably don't know what I'm talking about b/c you just saw it one time in theaters back in 1989 and don't even remember 20 minutes of the movie...which I guess is understandable.  GB2 probably isn't worth the number of viewings I gave it when I was younger and got older...it's got a hold of me though; the feelings it inspired in me have not been duplicated by any other film.  It had a unique combination of good intentions and a surreal kind of 2am-half-awake-why-is-everything-glowing kind of creepiness to it.  I remember being about 6 years old and watching that scene with the Statue Of Liberty walking through the ocean with only the crown sticking above water, and Bill Murray referenced some advertising icon from the time period that was used to sell vegetables (I don't think "The Jolly Green Giant" appears in the ads anymore, does he?) and the water was all lit up by the New York nightlife and New Year's festivities.  MAN life used to be intense!  That scene was especially cool when viewed in the dark.

dumpweed redux

There's this piece of Blink 182's "Dumpweed" (opening track from ENEMA OF THE STATE) that kinda sounds (IMO.?) like circus music sped up...it seems like someone at some point made a song that focuses mainly on that portion and did it with synths but I can't for the life of me remember/figure out what song that was or how to find it...maybe I dreamt it...sux b/c I don't know how to play the synthesizer (although if I tried I'd probably fair better at that than the guitar...) and I don't know anyone who does play synth...if I did, I could maybe relay my dreams and get them to come true...oh well...

madness! MA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA-DNESS!!!!!

This editor who writes articles for Fandago's website was bashing the UNDERWORLD franchise.  I swear, all the idiots crawled out from under their couches to rebuke his attitude.  Most of them just spewed out meaningless insults, but at least a couple tried to say something other than "you're mean; you hurt my feelings".  One guy tried to justify UNDERWORLD being a piece of garbage b/c he "doesn't need to be any smarter having watched it".  Actually, good movies don't make you smart.  It's just a stupid thing to watch bad movies b/c the definition of a "bad movie" is one that does not involve any use of brain cells whatsoever, either on the filmmakers' part or the part of the audience.  A bad movie can also fall under a myriad of other categories...Another guy, I think, was TRYING to say that the editor couldn't handle the imaginative aspect of the film.  That's ALSO b.s. b/c a smart person, or even someone who isn't that smart, is capable of imagining most of what happens in the UNDERWORLD films before seeing four+ sequels, and, maybe, before seeing the 1st one. 
If you "want to be entertained" and don't want to eat half baked popcorn, here's some examples of well crafted, well thought-out cinema that isn't "some drama":

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE
STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI
GHOSTBUSTERS
JURASSIC PARK
THE TERMINATOR
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
DIE HARD
END OF DAYS
TRUE LIES

the return of the miniature DVD player & throwing it all away...

Yeah, um...

I finally have a DVD player - again, for the Nth++(?HU?) time...man, I wish I'd kept that Denon 1940CI DVD etc. player...it was probably more than I needed, but something of that build quality isn't easy to come by...I guess maybe the $50 Sony player would be pretty close...neither are region free, so...I guess what I SHOULD HAVE done is used the $70 or so I got from the 1940CI was buy the Sony DVD player...now I have this cheapppp DVD player that doesn't even playback the first half second of most songs (it plays DVDS just fine so far...).

Today is the 12th day of ownership if you count Aug 1, the purchase date.

Sorry I've been silent all these years...thank you Tori Amos...

Spent 5 hours out and about total, plus 3 hours in between waiting for Mom to get out of the torture chamber...SHE'S been out for 8 hours today.  I stayed home while she was at Dr. Phibb's laboratory b/c misery may prefer company but mercy says no...(?)

Anyway; listening to Katy Perry's TEENAGE DREAM.  It's got good melody and sweet sounds, the lyrics are kinda retarded...so far the only weak song is "Peacock", which seems more of a novelty, rather tongue and cheek.

I rented YOUR HIGHNESS this morning.  I heard about it on what apparently was a rerun of ES.TV (not sure what that stands for...they interview celebrities about their current movies etc.).  They showed clips of it on ES.TV, looked pretty funny.  I should be shot for wasting money on it, I STILL haven't looked at the average verdict per the Amazon shoppers, hopefully I'll remember to do that when I finish this rambling...

Not sure what else was missed in the last however the heKK long it's been since I looked at this site...I hope to update more frequently....

OH!  I have 12 CDs!  And I don't actually own all the CDs I've bought...I had like 15 or so, would have more if I hadn't sold any of 'em, maybe 20...usually I think "GET THIS SH!T AWAY FROM ME!!!" and end up leaving myself with zilch, but this time I thought "why????".

I bought 6 DVDs at Big Lots the day I got a DVD player, returned two of 'em and tried to sell two of them, failed at one of those, so I still have that one, so I still have three out of four of the ones I paid for for good.

And keeping in step with my lifestyle, my DVD collection isn't as vast as my CD collection, since I don't watch movies very often.  I also have like 5 books, one of them I started reading quite some time ago and haven't resumed at all since I bought it...I don't like to ruin dust jackets, so I'm afraid to touch it...I keep thinking I should buy it in softcover and then donate that or sell it somewhere, but lately I'm just not interested in doing that...I snagged SHUTTER ISLAND by Dennis Lehane from my mom who received it from her friend.  I kinda look forward to seeing how much better it is than MYSTIC RIVER, which although entertaining was monumentally depressing, to the point it was almost laughable.  He makes EVERYTHING look grim and bleak.  That's not life.

Right now I'm writing this blog post, listening to TEENAGE DREAM and I NEED to watch YOUR HIGHNESS and would LIKE to read SHUTTER ISLAND.  Can't do all four!!!

an emotional episode - Vol. 1-12

These are the twelve (twelve!!!!) CDs I think, based on their emotional resonance, are ones to keep:

American Football - s/t
Bayside - s/t
Bayside - Shudder
Bayside - Sirens And Condolences
Bayside - The Walking Wounded
Best Coast - Crazy For You
Genesis - Invisible Touch
Hidden In Plain View - Resolution
Hootie & The Blowfish - Cracked Rear View
Matchbox 20 - Yourself Or Someone Like You
Oingo Boingo - Skeletons In The Closet: The Best Of
PrimeSTH - Underneath The Surface

I chose these based on a combination of factors: the # of times I can listen to them in a short period of time w/o getting sick of it/them, their personal value (i.e.: nostalgia, where they fit in in my past, and the history of pop culture in general, and weather or not they say something about me...), and also how good they are (of course!).  I might add Trespassers William's DIFFERENT STARS and HAVING to the list.  It's been a loong time since I've been able to enjoy the entirety of DIFFERENT STARS and it's been probably just as long with HAVING.  I used to be pretty big on The Cranberries and Third Eye Blind, I think Trespassers William are one of those bands that just get left behind in the fields of time.  TPW's HAVING is better than DIFFERENT STARS, imo, but the production is so dang dense, the melodies, some of which are just classic, just don't resonate after 50 or so listens.  I'll revisit them from time to time, on occasion, probably on Pandora Radio, but I doubt I'll relish owning any CDs by them should I ever re-buy HAVING or DIFFERENT STARS.
  BTW, I think I prefer Third Eye Blind's newer music, from 2003 onward, but they've yet to make an entire album of good++ music.  I hope the consistency of their first two albums will someday (soon?!) merge with the passion of their current-er work.  As for The Cranberries, I think my tastes have changed a bit and they no longer fit in with how I feel about things...BURY THE HATCHET was their only really good album, imo.

almost brushed my teeth...

I (finally) took a shower yesterday, after a week of not doing that.  Aaah!  I thought about the fact that I was too tired to brush my teeth and knew I was gonna pay for that...I did brush them this morning, but I'm about due for another shower - HOOOOOMID!
 Been listening to Bayside quite a bit the last 2 or 3 days.  Mainly SHUDDER (2008) and THE WALKING WOUNDED (2006).  I finally bought SIRENS AND CONDOLENCES (2004) a couple months ago, don't know what kept me from doing so way sooner.  I did buy their 2011 release KILLING TIME a couple weeks after its release date, even though I don't like it as much as their Victory Records output.  Hopefully they'll go back to the raw emotion of their "older" recordings.  Or maybe I just need to open up more, idk...pop-punk is nice, but it gets old really fast.  Panic! At The Disco's VICES AND VIRTUES was amazing on the first several listens, but, just like All Time Low's NOTHING PERSONAL and every other loud and shiny album of the last few years, it gets to be rather hard on the nerves.  In the case of VICES AND VIRTUES, I can't help but get the feeling that I'm hearing someone making noises with a rusty saw in the background of the music.  The production just reeks of an old house on its last leg.  All Time Low's NOTHING PERSONAL is perfect in the production dept, but the music is a bit shallow.  KILLING TIME on the other hand just doesn't have any songs that stand tall on their own, which is important when judging pop-punk.  VICES AND VIRTUES probably would have some standout tracks (apprx half the album), but the production just soils them.
  But I probably will order Bayside's THE WALKING WOUNDED and SHUDDER.  I've been listening to Silverstein's DISCOVERING THE WATERFRONT a bit since yesterday.  It's a pretty good CD too, but not as good as the work of Bayside.

the audience

People always say the airwaves are polluted with junk.  Sometimes they are right, but people go way overboard in that notion.  I swear, every genre of popular music has been accused of being 'generic' - hair metal, folk-pop, modern (post-1999) emo, new wave, etc....
  I think a lot of these accusations come from people who are A) jaded and stone-hearted and B) people who are out of touch with their emotions and just want to hear sound rather than feel anything significant.
  What's really annoying is people saying "every song could be a hit" when they comment on a CD.  Cartel's CHROMA (2005) was a very energetic and emotional journey, but there's a good portion of that CD that either doesn't click when heard at random and/or just doesn't compare to a solid-gold pop song.  Even the two 'hits' on the album - "Honestly" and "Say Anything (Else)" were not highly successful.  Then there's people who review 80's albums written by a band who had some name recognition after having a hit or two but didn't want to or couldn't keep the fire burning.  Mr. Mister had an album in 1985 called "Welcome To The Real World" that had a couple songs that made them a household name - those two songs are still played on the radio to this day.  "Kyrie" and "Broken Wings" (especially the latter) are classic pop.  For whatever reason their follow up "Go On" (1986) had nothing half as good as the aforementioned hits.  And if it did, the songs would have been on the radio then fizzed out.  People don't want mediocrity on the radio.  At least back then they didn't.  Five year olds used to be treated like five year olds - that is, they've got a lot to learn.  I'm pretty sure the average request for "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys was made by an overprivilidged grade schooler.  Your average five year old is apt to think PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is genius.  They are the culprit for mediocrity on the radio.  It's not the "general public" that was/is DYING to hear some awkward example of shallow songwriting - it's the general public in the making forcing the general public to put up with it b/c not doing so is a waste of time in their eyes.
  Johny Hates Jazz also had a classic 80's song - "Shattered Dreams".  Very smooth, slick while also managing to be very melodious and heartfelt.  Your average review on Amazon will ignore TURN BACK THE CLOCK (1987)'s shortcomings, ie the fact that "Shattered Dreams" is the only song they're likely to remember a few+++ days after listening to it and that the only reason they'll ever put the album back in their CD player is b/c they paid $10++ for it and by golly they might as well use it.  After all, they can't remember the album being BAD.  Of course not.  They can't remember ANYTHING about the album - the word for the opposite would be "memorable".  If it's not memorable, why bother?  B/c you made the mistake of buying an album just for one song?
  Men At Work isn't really an example of mediocrity.  However, their music is a matter of taste, which varies from person to person.  I personally think the opening track from CARGO (1983) is a nicely wicked groove with some nice melodious moments, but it's not the kind of song that you run out to your local record store and buy.  It's more of the kind of song that you find at WalMart while you're buying groceries and you're just passing by the music department browsing idly; you find it for a good price and figure "why not?  I've got nothing better to do with my money" and you add it to your cart and keep moving.  Chances are you won't even listen to it when you get home.  It may very well sit there for weeks or maybe months.
  It seems a lot of people can't tell the difference between a solid gold pop song and album filler and songs that are awesome but don't appeal to most airwave listeners.  I don't know how to explain the difference.  All I know is Genesis' "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" was a very good song before it got cut in half, but nonetheless it WAS cut in half, and in that form it became a Top 10 hit.  My tastes are kind of quirky, so naturally I like the 9 minute freeform expressionistic version, and I also like the 12" remix of "Land of Confusion" that it seems most people don't even know exist.  Those who bought INVISIBLE TOUCH (1986) didn't mind hearing a 10 minute suite with cryptic lyrics ("Domino"), but it is a select few who actually LIKE or LOVE that song.  I think the former attitude is where these four and five star customer reviews of albums like Mr. Mister's GO ON and Johny Hates Jazz's TURN BACK ON THE CLOCK come from.
  If people had to put up with whatever the DJ played on the radio, it probably wouldn't bother too many people.  It would bother the artists though - they expose their passions and work hard at getting the job done right and some random music snob gets to decide if they pulled it off?  That doesn't mean anything to them.  To know that a song is on the radio because millions of people across the country are taking the time out of their day to call up the radio station and tell the DJ that it must be heard I'm sure is a rewarding experience to the artists.  It lets the artists know that their passion is mutual and that the universal language of music has been translated well.

pa-pa-pandora!

Been listening to Pandora a bit.  I figure(d) I can buy songs I hear from Pandora while listening to them.  That way Pandora, the artist and the great folks at Amazon get their $$.  If you don't already know, I am highly opposed to the iTunes brand.  So far I've bought...3?  Or was it two...idk...I think it was two today, then I got like one yesterday, eye, I don't know...

Anyway...I almost indebted myself to the bank for a prolonged amount of time by placing an order for a wi-fi enabled blu ray player from Panasonic.  Then I figured "I already have a computer; why this?"  so I then tried to order a DVD player and some DVDs; my debit card was declined.  Thank God!  My impatience makes me laugh sometimes.

I just don't know if I'll be able to get my "Tax Assistance" check in 2012.  The news announced that Missouri is in need of budget cut(s).  I'm hoping they don't all out eliminate the program.  I can take half!  Heck, even 1/5 would be great!

cruel and unusual consequence

I guess a punishment is unwarranted whereas a "consequence" is justified?  But I guess if the "consequence" doesn't fit the crime, then it becomes cruel and/or unusual, thus also becoming a punishment, since a punishment is unwarranted...not sure how that would play out in a US Court...

panic at the sleep!

Dam, I'm sleepy!  I want to sleep!  I've been doing nothing BUT sleep!  I'm tired of sleeping!!!
  I finally got a real listen to Panic! At The Disco's new album VICES AND VIRTUES.  I think I tried listening to the first track closer to when it first came out and didn't like it 'cause it was just too murky sounding...then I somehow managed to listen to the first track a few days ago, and got to track #2 and was like "yay!" and was just amazed at almost every track from then on.  9/10 ain't bad!  ...well...I guess you could make a case that no good album should be left with only ten tracks, but, c'mon...
  And...I get $ tomorrow...I am expecting $ for completing a series of surveys, should be here "no later than" a week or so from now.  I will use that to buy a bidpack from BidCactus and use that bidpack to buy a $100 Amazon.com gift card.  The $ I get tomorrow will be almost half used up to pay back my Mom's housekeeper and then $13 will go to a public domain DVD w/ case and cover-art (!) and then a few things from Amazon that I thought were too good to pass up...I already placed an order for three items, just need to update my payment info...

altered opinion...

I don't know why I'm so anxious to have a "hi end" audio setup.  It's simply NOT gonna happen.  I want to see how long my TV lasts, I don't care about fullHD or whatever, but I would like to see A CLOCKWORK ORANGE in its correct aspect ratio and see THE LAST UNICORN uncensored w/o being a fugitive for having a region free DVD player in my home......and it would be cool to have a blu ray player with internet apps that matter i.e. pandora, netflix etc.  I don't think I'll convert every movie I want to own to blu ray, if I end up needing to, so what?  At least I'll still have the packaging to look at (depending on what movie it is; a lot of movies these days have really pathetic packaging...).
  But having SACD playback is totally pointless, there aren't even any SACDs worth owning, IMO.  SACD is for people who get hung up on "how it sounds" and not just how it FEELS to listen to it.  I guess I'm just more into cathartic music, vs. that middle of the road jazzrock/progrock/artrock of the 70's and 80's.  Not to say that the 70s and 80s didn't have good music.  Joy Division's debut came out in 1979...oh, yeah - and Pink Floyd is a pretty good band, but DARK SIDE OF THE MOON is probably the most overrated album EVER.  The last two or three songs are totally meandering b.s..  I much prefer their ECHOES retrospective, even if it is missing a few "key" tracks...
  I might want to own the Denon rec'er in my previous post - no matter what you listen to, the little things do make an impact...but I surely don't need a Plasma right now and I don't need a $500 blu ray player either...

$2,000.00 a/v set-up...

$668 Plasma HDTV from Panasonic
$559 home theater receiver that doesn't kick music to the curb by Denon
$500 blu ray disc player that also plays hi-def music (SACD etc.)
$268 (apprx) highly rated speakers!!!
----
$1,995

If by any chance anyone who is willing/able to buy this stuff me is reading this, these items are on my Amazon wishlist and they can be found by searching Jonathan Cardwell's wishlist.  No need to ask my address because it's built in to my wishlist....it'd take me at least 3 years to buy these items with what I have to spare each month on stuff of this sort.

blackout

quote from Senses Fail's "Blackout" (from LIFE IS NOT A WAITING ROOM on Vagrant Records)

"If I had a shot for every *odamn time I thought about your face and what I lost, at least I'd get some sleep"

I love that song, not sure if I'd feel the same about it hearing it at random...on the LIFE IS NOT A WAITING ROOM album, it's like they subconsciously lead you to expect a big payoff at the end (that being "Blackout").  I don't know how they do/did it, I'm not even sure if that's the correct conclusion, but looking back I don't see how I was able to listen to the entire album with songs like "Wolves At The Door" and "Hair Of The Dog", the latter having a rather nice melody with kind of barf-inducing lyrics, if it weren't for the subliminal message of more-to-come (??) in the opening song "Fireworks At Dawn" (??). 

I also like the lyric in the song: "There were times, there were times, I reached for the phone, to tell you there might still be some hope...".

I don't know why those two parts of the song appease me so much.  I didn't even realize what he was saying in the first quote until I looked up the lyrics on MetroLyrics to verify content.  I just remember the melody and the part where he keeps repeating the word "sleep".

You'd think "Blackout" would be the backbone of their 2010 release, since it leaves you wanting more, but alas, they decided to go for a more aggressive sound for the newest CD THE FIRE.

pulling teeth

I got one tooth pulled today.  It was infected, so a local dentist pulled it for $102.  The novacane or whatever they used is wearing off finally (it's been 3 hours since I got out of there...), and my teeth are starting to hurt.  I was laying down, watching THE EXORCIST, not sure if that did anything to help...I couldn't sleep - I'm a little tired, but far from ready to sleep.  i need to feed my cats.  xx.

A "Crash" course in shipping...

My sister used her debit card - I don't have one, I finally will be getting one soon tho(!!!!!!!) - to buy J.G. Ballard's CRASH in hardcover on my behalf.  I somehow managed to find it for $6 w/ S&H.  This edition of the book typically goes for $40 on up.  So I figure I can have it to read until someone else buys it from me (on Amazon) and if I'm not totally disappointed with the book by that time, I can rebuy at least one copy, maybe two - one for display and one for reading - and have a few+(++?) dollars left over...
I was worried the seller wouldn't ship the book after realizing they were offering it for too low of a price...one thing looks promising though and that's the fact that the seller's Amazon listing for the exact same book was taken down.  There's still time for them to cancel the order and try to sell the book to someone with $40++ falling out of their pockets...I mean, ya know, nothing's final 'til the book ships, and even then I have to receive the book, safe and sound, neither have happened yet.  So I'm hoping still...anywaz...

my first bluray player - returned

I returned my Magnavox Blu ray player.  I used it every day since I bought it, but not for movies.  It was essentially just a CD player with movie-watching capacities.  The only thing I'll miss out on b/c of this is seeing A CLOCKWORK ORANGE in its correct aspect ratio.  That can surely wait 'til...whenever $75 isn't such a large amount of money in my eyes.  I will hopefully get apprx $500++ in January or February of 2012, but I might need to give that to my sister to help out with paying a deposit on whatever apartment I move into after the house I live in now is bought, supposing that even happens...but anyway...if it takes a whole 3 years for this house to sell, that'll just mean it's gonna be awhile before I can afford a blu ray player.  So what?  i enjoyed A CLOCKWORK ORANGE w/o seeing it in its correct aspect ratio.  Heck, if I could rent movies on VHS, I'd just use my VCR to watch GHOSTBUSTERS and whatever else even though most VHS tapes are in Full Screen.

Fear of a better tomorrow...

This country fought a 50 year war in the name of Capitalism/Free Trade, but only 5% of it chooses to save money by buying online.  People would rather give their money to seedy companies like Best Buy and give into the convenience of thinking thoughts that don't acknowledge all facets of the reality at hand.
  The fact is most identity theft happens online, yes, but the majority of it happens because people open emails from people they don't know or don't know how to spot spoof emails.
  If people would get their act together, identity theft would probably be more likely to happen the way people are afraid it would happen if they shopped online, but it would probably be less common because websites that have valuable information pay good money to secure that information so that unwarranted peeks don't take place.
 I can understand that saving $5 on a CD or DVD or whatever isn't a big deal to a lot of people, but in this economy, you'd think a lot of people, maybe not as many but certainly more than 5%, would value their money enough to try to keep as much of it as possible by not wasting that $5.  I mean, with that $5 saved, whoever saves it could pay for half of a casual dining meal w/ a drink (unless the casual dining meal is at Red Lobster; half of a Red Lobster meal is apprx $7.50, which isn't much more than $5; and if you save $5 on each of THREE CDs/other/? that's pretty close to, if not just plain all, that you need to visit a casually fancy place like Red Lobster...).

my first bluray player

I got this yesterday at WalMart for $68 + tax.  Since it doesn't have NetFlix (I didn't assume it would, was just hoping...), I need to get some Blu ray disc(s) before I can decide if it is worth being broke for the next month...I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter.  Other big news is that my Mom decided to give up her car, so now I have to rely on other people to take me places if/when I need it, which means going places for the sake of going somewhere is no longer an option, unless I feel like walking, which I've been trying to do more of since the rain etc. has been easing off since Thursday, although today it rained, I don't think it thundered etc. though...BUT ANYWAY; since I don't have any money I'll need to try harder to be self sufficient.  Which will be easier since I won't have anyone to indulge me in my road warrior dreams...or whatever you call that...um...anyway.
  I probably don't need a Blu ray player, at least not yet...but I really didn't need an HDTV either, although I didn't know that when I got one...it's nice having a TV that doesn't weigh a ton, but as far as functionality goes, this blu ray player has been a long time coming.  I've been racking my brain trying to figure out whose idea it was to make HDTVs when television wasn't being broadcast in HD, and blu ray players were still in development, if that, when HDTVs first came on the market.  I mean, it's nice to see that the consuming public actually bought an HDTV in the hopes of someday being able to watch something in HD on it, but you'd think more people would hold off on something like that.  So, to summarize, I'm stuck with my HDTV, so $68 ain't a bad price to pay for making it useful.

And we don't just have neon logo signs...

Wow.  Took long enough.  The grand total and the MSRP had a minimal gap for quite awhile from the time this became available for pre-order 'til about a month ago...I still think this is a complete waste of $, tho.  The Ghosthead community seemed pretty stoked about it in general, but a silhouette of the all-awesome Ghostbusters logo is not worth more than $30.  If it didn't light up, I'd knock it down to $10.  The no-ghost detail is a very lovingly-detailed design, a visual marvel.  Heck, if Columbia Pictures just made the no-ghost logo, they'd still have a cash cow; the fact that it's associated with such an artful and enjoyable film as GHOSTBUSTERS just makes it more lovable!

if i get home before i wake

walking, just barely
Running, no way
Crawling, may be
Can't seem to move
at all
People say that scientists have decoded dreams;
that they are a way to tackle things too big to think about
Maybe they're wrong
If I drove all the way through North America and back, asleep the entire time
I doubt I'd feel safe
At peace
Rested
Ready

dismissed

When I awoke my neck was glazed with water
When I turned my head to assess the damage,
     the damage was too much to feel undamaged
My cats did not survive the flood,
     they were simply too short, and they couldn't swim
My TV was broken beyond repair
My wallet wasn't worth replacing, and it had no money in it for almost a month
I turned my head the other way and said "why bother?"
At last, dismissed
The water carried me away

FYI, a little known fact about the BMG music club

You ever wonder how BMG Music Club offer(ed) their CDS for so cheap?

Well, here's your answer:

BMG buys CDs from the record companies for discounted prices.  The discount is applied with the understanding that the artists who made the music ON the CDs possible will not be paid for those copies that BMG sells to their customers.

Hold up, you might ask; that doesn't make any sense (right?).  Well, it doesn't.  In order to MAKE it make sense, BMG includes a policy with their terms of service that states BMG MEMBERS ARE NOT MEANT TO RESELL THIS/THESE CD's! 

Ignoring this policy and reselling those CDs anyway isn't a big deal to a lot of the buyer(s), especially those who buy all their stuff 'in-store' where they can inspect their merchandise before they buy.  But regardless if you buy it in store or online where most sellers don't even mention this "minor" detail, the used CD market is, in theory, a place where artists who inadvertently (or perhaps intentionally, but not likely...) sold their CD to someone who never wanted it to begin with, can be at peace knowing that SOMEWHERE down the line, that CD that was wrongly sold to someone will be enjoyed, as was intended.  Personally, I think BMG Music Club is wrong in its very existence, but if it stays in the club, there's no legal basis for intervention.  The problem is, it doesn't always stay in the club.

action! action!

http://tiny.cc/xbc3u

it's Gregg Araki, everyone!

Ok, it's one thing to be the maker of a Top Quality movie - MYSTERIOUS SKIN - but it's an entirely other realm to be that AND the maker of the most celebrated film of a generation - nowhere.

MYSTERIOUS SKIN is just awesome.  There's absolutely no flaws in that film, it's a masterpiece, not some half-baked idea that gets 1/4 cooked...(unlike most movies these days...).

nowhere is possibly the greatest film ever. 

Personally, I'd be surprised of KABOOM comes anywhere near the quality of these two movies.  I mean, I wasn't too thrilled with THE DOOM GENERATION, TOTALLY F***ED UP was OK, not a classic or anything like that....  And THE LIVING END was about as good as TFU.

But still;  it's nice to know he's at least trying.  The odds of him succeeding are better than most movie-makers...

are you eating it or is it eating you?

I saw this "cleansing drink" on Google Product Search when my pursuit of a poster for THE STUFF that resembled the original VHS cover-art failed...didn't see the added word "extra" at first, but anyway.........

YO! YOU BE LIKE THE BUZZIN' OF FLIEZ 2 HIM!

BA DA!

Letters To Two00tu / when Finch was fab

Dedicated to Megan Irvin (sp?) circa 2001-2002.  I don't know if she liked any significant number of these albums, but I was glad to have discovered this "trend" when I did, when I was so hopelessly infatuated with her and these singers' hearts were bleeding on the microphone...from about 2001-2005 I was having the time of my life...pop-punk and emo is still popular, but the "big names" in the genre have more in common with Green Day than Blink 182, focusing on the stupid-jokes and the dirty sounding guitars than the breathtaking emotional resonance...

WATER

WATER

Call The cops
Call the Army
Call the Red Cross
My money’s about to disappear
Because it’s raining
And my roof isn’t blocking it
It’s seeping
Through
Into
My most expensive treasures
My computer
My television and stereo
Let me pray
That the water doesn’t fall too hard
Into my home
Run - to the hills! It’s invading my home
NASA what the hell are you doing?
We need out of here!
There’s too much water falling
Not enough money to fix the damage done by it
China will kill us b/c my gov’t can’t get enough money to fix my stuff
To fix my drowning body
Oh, no
What if it falls into my mouth?
I can’t exactly DRINK this shit can I?
Ohhh, no….
I think I’m going to faint
Perhaps I’ll just let myself die
Just go with it
I don’t even care
I’m too beautiful for this world anyway…

just checkin' in...

I heard two of February's obvious "to buy" candidates today, and luckily they're both worth buying...Bayside's 2009 CD SHUDDER was pretty darn boring, IMO. The two prior ones were OK, but nothing compared to SIRENS AND CONDOLENCES from 2004. This new one I haven't listened to more than once, so I don't know if it'll be worth keeping at all; I tried listening to it a 2nd time and was like "is this the same CD?"...
A more recent emo-esque band, A Skylit Drive, released their third full length not long ago, and it's a little bit better as far as staying power goes, but I still didn't feel the same way listening to it immediately after hearing it the first time. If I had nothing else to listen to, it'd be one thing, but there's a ton of stuff out there...
I heard this country song by Avril Lavigne that according to wikipedia, or some other info site, was given to someone else to perform on another album. I'm not against country, but this song was just boring. Her vocals sounded really subdued and the instrumentation was nowhere near as fascinating as the lead single "What The Hell". I really don't know if there's anything about the song 'What The Hell", lyrical or otherwise, that will bleed into her other songs from GOODBYE LULLABY (Mar 8), but I hope so...I really don't think anyone wants to hear a bunch of Frank Sinatra type songs when they run to the store after not being able to get "What The Hell" out their heads...
R.E.M. has an album out the same day as Avril; the track "Discoverer" is, or was, available for streaming on R.E.M.'s website, and it's an OK song. Kind of reminds me of the opening track on DOCUMENT, which could be a good thing if they made the song something more than a catchy piece of alt-pop, but, alas, there's rhythm abound, but not enough melody to sustain the rhythm. I guess I'm spoiled by Oingo Boingo...although I gotta admit sometimes their rhythms are a bit too much..."Dead Man's Party" is probably their best song, "Weird Science" isn't even on that list, even though it was their only hit and was from the same album as "Dead Man's Party"...just goes to show you how necessary it is to dumb yourself down if you want radio success; my honest opinion on that is radio is controlled by advertising. People will listen to the radio primarily for the music, but they in turn have to hear advertisements. Thing is, these advertisements are usually for stuff that people don't need - it is not needed and it is not direly wanted. It's just prompting people to spend money so the economy doesn't collapse - it doesn't matter what you spend your money on, just as long as people think they're earning their money "fair and square". My guess is if everything people bought was something they REALLY WANTED - not something that "seems" like a good idea, or "might be useful someday" or whatever, but just a simple old fashioned WANT - something that isn't essential to your survival but makes it worth fighting for - then jobs would be cut by 30%. And we all know that looking out for our fellow man, and feeding the poor just aren't very American ideals...But anyway...the better the music, the more the audience feels it. If the audience is stuffed with pure emotion, those ads become laughable - the audience realizes "I don't need a freakin' car, I need to go buy that song!".
I actually caught an Onkyo receiver, finally received a refund for it; it was a home theater receiver, so the sound was centered more toward surround sound in movies; I guess you live and learn. I don't know why movies are so important to people as far as sound goes. Stereo speakers gives you plenty ability to hear dialogue and feel the rumble of an explosion if you buy the right speakers. And the best thing is you can hear MUSIC - nothing but sound - more clearly with stereo speakers. The only music you can hear better with a 5.1 set-up is concert DVDs and multi-channel SACDs, both of which are limited in what they have to offer. So here's hoping 2012 isn't the end for us all...maybe I can buy a decent STEREO receiver and enjoy it before I die...
Oh, but I guess that might not happen either;...I'm moving out sometime in 2012, probably early in the year. My mom thinks she'd be less depressed and stressed etc. living w/o me in her domain all the time. Hopefully I won't need to spend my entire Circuit Breaker check on a deposit...if I do that better include a pet deposit, I'd really hate to get rid of Napoleon, and/or Harrison. I'm sure I can find some place that isn't too shabby for $350 or less a month. If it weren't for the toilet issue, my apartment on Lorimier would have been fine, I don't know if he'd allow me to have Napoleon and Harrison w/ me though, since they did a little damage to the apt while they were there...ugh...

freedom...more or less...

The most electric, striking, breath-taking, most beautiful work of art - banned by the land of the free. But it's OK b/c everyone's so stuffed inside themselves to enjoy life? Hey, if you can't enjoy life w/o banning books/movies/music then maybe YOU don't belong here. There's always somewhere you can go if the site of blood and/or nudity is too much to ignore. It's called home. And if you're at work and have to put up with a cuss word here and there, you can always just do your job and get distracted by your goals to not really notice.
It's really weird how society seems to not know WHY cuss words are offensive - they just say "It's negative" or "it shows a lack of intelligence" or "other people find it offensive". ALL THREE of those most common "reasons" are STUPID - EVERYBODY lacks intelligence, some more so than others. There's ALWAYS alternate words to use to say what's on your mind. If negativity is on your mind, venting IS a good thing. In public around 10 or 15++ people? Maybe not, but not all cuss words are negative. "F*** yeah" is like saying "Yay!". Is "yay!" negative? HELL NO! And why spend time being offended b/c someone else is? It only adds more stupidity to an already illogical situation.
And what the heck is wrong with naked people? Do anti-naked people shower and urinate with their clothes on? I mean, is God a pornographic life - casting director for creating children with no clothes? People say "if he wanted us to be naked, he wouldn't have created clothes" - hello? Did the nurses at the hospital somehow mislead you into thinking that blanket wrapped around your newborn came out of your pelvis along with the baby? So if Man kills someone and doesn't say it was for God, then it's a sin but everything else Man does is God's glory? Is playing golf God's glory? Is marijuana God's glory? What about SMOKING marijuana? The creation of clothing is not a Godly act. The only reason people even have clothing on in the summer in the South continental USA is b/c of these irrational thoughts on clothing. Clothes are simply not needed except when it's cooold outside.
SO - with this in mind, unless there's some ACTUAL ground I haven't covered - like a non-vague-as-death quote from The Bible that says "the f word" and "the/those b-word(s)" should be banned from use or hell will be to pay - then what's your defense for thinking a slight majority of offended people equates jail time for those who offend?

"that's life"

It's weird how *certain politicians* who elect criminals to aid them and block the flow of justice are defended by the phrase "that's life". It's weird how *certain people* don't see how realistic justice is. It's weird how people would rather live in a corrupted country and defend it to the death but not die for the sake of a better tomorrow for those who might live to see it.

copyright protection - it's like Communism, except everyone's OK with it...

I'm sick of Hollywood and the music industry using deceit and threats to squash the competition. They tried closing people off from the opportunity to hear GOOD music by killing internet radio, they distribute viruses to people's computers, they sell blu-rays that don't work with anyone's blu-ray player, and now I read that my copy of THE LAST UNICORN is in violation of "copyright protection" laws?
Let's get this straight - I, for one, don't have a job. But that's b/c I would fail, and be fired for it. My eye hand coordination is half-axed, and my ability to concentrate is almost always impaired. And mostly I'm just not motivated by threats, like "shape up or ship out". If this were an accurate description for everyone, I could see how Hollywood's actions could have a valid defense, even a sympathetic one, but the fact is if you have a job, you're supposed to do it - not do something that LOOKS like you're doing it and then fail and then cry to the gov't about not having any money.
If Hollywood wants a valid reason for having a job, they should A) make movies that SOMEONE in this world wants to see B) quit making movies that minimal or no value to ANYONE other than punk kids who just wanna see an "R rated" movie regardless of what it is and C) distribute these movies as they were in theaters, maybe with an option for an "extended cut" or "unrated version" or whatever the situation may call for...And they should look and sound at least as they were in theaters, if not better, w/ no freezes or jumps or anything else that can easily be avoided...
My copy of THE LAST UNICORN is a German import - with "25th Anniversary" Edition picture quality UNCENSORED. Whoever is/was responsible for getting THE LAST UNICORN out on DVD in Germany did it right long before the 25th "Anniversary" of the film - they did it right the first time. The U.S. on the other hand released a super-crumby looking version of the film, then released it again with the picture restored EXCEPT ---- IT'S CENSORED!!!! First off, the MOTION PICTURE Association of AMERICA is supposed to eliminate the need for censorship am I not right? - and second, THE GERMANS DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. But I'm not German, so I can't have it.
Racism might be stretching it - but greed should not be freely granted by the courts. If someone wants to hog what's rightfully theirs, fine, just as long as Dennis Cooper books are still legal, but to stave people away from what is rightfully THEIRS should not be upheld by the courts.
I'm getting a region free DVD player - I'll see you in court if you really want...

"It's true! I chopped him up; but I didn't kill him!"

nowhere (1997), not officially released on DVD b/c some prissy parts don't want their music used in the movie or at least not without monetary compensation or some other b.s....not sure what the deal is. I think New Line Cinema/Fine Line Features gave up on an agreeable settlement between all parties involved in the hold-up...
But the FILM, with the music, and all other aspects herein, is a teen-angst masterpiece. I'm no longer a teenager, old enough in fact to be late in going to college; 27 going on 30...maybe it's b/c I'm a romantic with his head in the sky, but the film resonates with me like a 85 minute music video. The film, for some reason(s) or another, was released in Australia, was available to buy from 3rd party sellers on Amazon, but not anymore; there's also a region 5 DVD (from Germany I think...) but nobody ever offers it for sale. The Australian version is out of print, and I guess the German one is OOP, and has been for a looong time now. There was a French edition on eBay several years ago, with a supposed running time of like 2 hours, there's nothing I've found on the internet since then explaining this...
If you want your normal USA DVD player to play this cult-classic I suggest doing what I did and go to CultCine.com and buy it. Those morons holding up the release have deprived EVERYONE from a proper profit by legally allowing the film to end up in Public Domain, which basically means the anti-piracy laws don't apply...I mean, thank goodness I don't have to keep buying a VCR every 10 years to keep the FBI from being allowed to knock down my door any time they feel like it...
But anyway, there's a book, very colorful cover, that I noticed while shopping on Amazon or some site (I think it was Amazon...), that looked a lot like the book in nowhere, but I had myself thinking "that can't be it!". But as I was watching the film this afternoon I saw the book and recognized the name on the cover and I was like "well, I'll be darned! I FOUND the thing!". And I would not have found it if I had not somehow come across this author by the name of Dennis Cooper, who I guess sponsored the publication of "Dear Dead Person And Other Stories" by Benjamin Weissman.
So, in a nutshell, a curiosity has been fulfilled and if you're a moody teen, find 'nowhere' and see it. It's not wildly experimental, although it is pretty out there considering it's a professionally made film backed by a professional movie studio.
And remember "When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed".