This argument is always appalling when I see it:

"The definition of marriage predates recorded history," said New York State Catholic Conference Executive Director Richard E. Barnes.

What the heck does that have to do with anything? THIS COUNTRY is almost 300 years old. THIS COUNTRY states: life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. THIS COUNTRY - which was considered "radical" at the time of its formation b/c NOTHING LIKE IT had EVER BEEN DONE BEFORE - has, as of this writing, spent OVER HALF of its existence defending the notion that black people are dogs and women are robots. And keep in mind that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME OTHER DICTATOR LED COUNTRY; I'm talking about a land where FREEDOM - supposedly - reigns. Whatever prejudices happen to predate history itself I don't think mean anything.

i can't believe its true

Well, I'm pretty sure I told you all (yeah, there's just so many of you, I know...) that I sold my First Japanese pressing of INVISIBLE TOUCH by Genesis. It hasn't been a big departing, 'cause I have a cassette of it that suits me fine mostly, but I do wish I had kept the copy I had before I went ahead and sold the 1stJP...I managed to get the "other" Japanese pressing sold (locally...) about a few hours before the 1stJP came in the mail...
pardon me if I get off track a little, but I think this is a little bit interesting: Japanese CDs are known for their superior sound quality, but the USA used to pay Japan to make CDs before the USA started manufacturing CDs them/our-selves...and if the Japanese make better CDs than the USA, that obviously means that USA CDs are inferior to Japanese CDs...the REASON Japanese CDs sound better is b/c the Japanese take pride in their work; Americans don't. The Japanese will spend more $ to make better sounding CDs so they can show off their legacy to the world (or something like that...). Americans just want as much money as they can get their hands on, even if it's impossible for them to spend it all before they/we die...and then their kids inherit it and don't appreciate it one bit. But anyway...my point is that the ink on the disc itself says it was "made in Japan", but it was sold/distributed in the USA; you can know this b/c the cover art reflects the record company as Atlantic, whereas the copyright holder of Genesis' music overseas is not Atlantic, but rather Virgin. The FIRST Japanese press I had as well as a UK pressing of Genesis' 2nd CD (TRESPASS, from 1970) both state Virgin Records on their cover art. So, to sum it up, the Non 1st-JP of INVISIBLE TOUCH doesn't sound as good as the 1st-JP b/c the making of was paid for by the USA, since the USA did not yet have manufacturing plants for CDS set up yet...

But anyway...on MY system (which isn't really a "system" per say, just a DVD player hooked up to a analog TV) both copies sound the same, 'cause my system is worthless to any audiophile. The small details on the USA-Japan pressing don't show up at all, I would think the Japanese (first) pressing would reveal at least SOME of the sounds I never hear on the USA-Japan press, but I thought wrong. I guess that's what I get for assuming stuff about something I know virtually nothing about (i.e.: technology/science).

And since I sold the USA-Japan press, I am, after all, left with just a cassette...I would like to get a shelf system, since to get my DVD player to function as a CD player of any quality, I'd need at least by speakers, which may be all I would need, but the fact that I'm not sure of that shows how little I know about electronics and how far I need to stay away from things like hooking components to each other and stuff...a mini HI-FI system is A LOT safer and easier to use...and you can get much better sound from one of those than a DVD player with no speakers...well...maybe if I had an HDTV, my CDS would sound better, but I don't have $600+ to spend on one of those and a mini HI-FI system is about $100-150; that's like 4 x less the price...and I'll need to save up for a MHFS anyway, so HELL NO to paying for a nother TV...

ok...I just now got to the tip of the ice berg about the reason I'm writing this...hold on, we're over halfway done...I just made a reference to wanting to buy a min-HIFI system...THAT'S (sorta) why I'm writing this...

I HAVE FOUR (4) CDS!! Well, maybe 6...and I'm totally lost as to what to add to that group. The TOP thing I know of to add is a GENESIS CD. But I'm not a FAN of Genesis, I don't drool over most of their music, but even though I just sold my unpteen millionth copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH, that CD is MY ("ANTI"-) DRUG!! I turn to it even when I'm not in the mood to listen to it and I go "argh!" like I just swallowed something nasty, but that CD has been in my life ever since I can remember, and as I got older and had a hard time dealing with my circumstances, that CD was something from an easier time that I could cling to, and after listening to it from the age of 3-9, repeatedly, it's like INGRAINED in my head (like a fungus some might say...).

But seriously; what's with this? I used to make up excuses/reasons to sell stuff that I sorta knew I was going to re-buy later, but lately it just seems like even though I actually HAVE/had reasons to sell INVISIBLE TOUCH, it just sickens me...this will be the FOURTH TIME I bought that ridiculous slice of silliness...and the reasons I had for selling the other three were not *GREAT* reasons anyway; I should have kept the previous copies until I KNEW they were no longer going to be needed...I swear, I had made up my mind to keep this one copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH that I had and had even kept it for awhile (several months...) proving my will to KEEP it, but then I sold it before I even PAID for a replacement/upgrade...then I went back to the eBay listing I was "legally obligated to pay for", and noticed their grading of the item was different than what I interpreted it as when I had first read it...(the wording was kind of jumbled looking to my eyes, since I have astigmatism but for some reason I bid'd on it anyway and then sold the copy I already had ---- MAAHAHAHAHAHAHADNESS!!!!).

I tried to appear logical, and went without a copy of that CD I had betrayed my trust to, but after awhile I knew I had to buy it...so I went ahead and bought one that was like $4.00 including S&H...and then I sold that one...and got another one...and sold that one 'cause, like I said, I assumed I knew at least a little bit about electronics.

Neither of the last two copies I bought should have happened...I DON'T HAVE A "PROPER" CD PLAYER! But now i intend to get one within the next 6 months...of course, after writing this horrendously long draft, I know how dumb it is to be buying another copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH just yet...but still...I'll need to buy another one...yes; ANOTHER one...I swear, I'm not kidding, I've bought that CD AT LEAST 15 times...the first 11+ times I bought it, it was b/c I "wanted" it...after two years or almost of being closer to sane/smart, it's hard to know/remember what kind of logic I was using when I thought "this CD isn't worth keeping; I'm gonna sell it"; honestly, it just doesn't make sense to me! MY OWN THOUGHTS don't make sense to me! Maybe this is what maturity is? Have I FINALLY grown out of adolescence?

hunger strike

I'm listening to Temple Of The Dog's "Hunger Strike", which gets/was-getting heavy rotation on RAGE 103.7 here in Cape Girardeau (ok, the song just ended..."Linger" by The Cranberries is now playing on my 7-song Rhapsody playlist...); that song is SOOO atmospheric! It, to me, defines the early 90's, bringing to mind images from films like DRUGSTORE COWBOY and SINGLES (both starring Matt Dillion, BTW; what's up with that?) and all kinds of...idk; that cover art for Pearl Jam's VS. would go well with that song; and Pearl Jam were part of "The Seattle movement" or whatever, in case you don't get the connection. Oh, did I make it clear that "Hunger Strike" is atmospheric in a kind of Seattle-ish way? I know this is like an urban legend, I know grunge and related music styles didn't birth in Seattle, but it seemed like a lot of people at least used to think it did; people may have gotten more knowledgable, idk...but Seattle, to me, is like the definitive town for all things alternative. "Brick" by Ben Folds is now playing on my 7-song-Rhapsody-playlist and even that reminds me of Seattle in the early 90's, even though the song was more like late 90's and I don't think the band originated in Seattle...I think you know what I mean though...maybe it's the rain people always speak of in relation to Seattle combined with all the Nirvana-ish happenings...actually, I think that's prolly it.
I'm kind of a melancholly person, in case you haven't guessed. Lately, I've been feeling more depressed than melancholly, and I can now see a distinguished difference between the two. But I like feeling melancholly. I swear, "Hunger Strike" is so definitive of all things melancholly, it's like a happy song - ! Ok, maybe that's an overstatement...

this is a WORD document that I decided to share with "the world"...

WHY DO I KEEP PAYING FOR THIS CRAP?
I just got Nirvana’s Nevermind and Counting Crows’ August And Everything After in the mail today (in one package), and was, unexpectedly, somewhat joyous at having them - for the millionth time.


If I had every CD I ever bought - as in KEPT every CD I ever bought - I’d have A LOT of CD’s. The fact is most of the ones I no longer have I’m fine with no longer having. But then there’s “awesome” CDs, Cds that would be awesome with or without cover art, that get BORING after 3 or 4 attentive listens. And I’m left with the memory of the taste, but no taste buds left (so to speak…). People’s answer to that is “buy MORE CDS”, but…WHAT Cds??? I do get tired of stuff quickly, but let’s just face the facts: junk is junk and 99% of what’s on the shelves at CD stores IS JUNK. It’s either too noisy, too “pretty”, or too “avant garde” (I.e.: ALL style, NO substance). Then there’s music like Radiohead that are just too DEPRESSING; I’m not talking about melancholy; I love melancholy. I’m talking about so sick of everything I could just DIE. And, sometimes I’m just too depressed to feel comforted by melancholy and too depressed to be uplifted by intrusive happiness…that’s when things really get confusing for me.

I have a list of 23 CDS; I wasn’t sure what to call the list, so I decided to write this essay/memoir/thingy to go with it. I need to know that most art, good or bad, IS pretentious and overly worshipped and priced. I need to know that I’m gonna look at my collection and want to throw up. I need to know that music isn’t what makes me happy, but rather music is what enhances the happiness I already have, when I do have it.

wow, it's like...you know me!

http://rhaplinks.real.com/rhaplink?rhapid=4700469&type=playlist&title=Playlist&from=bbdms

This song is soooo worn out, but before that happened, this song brought life to my veins. Fun yet emotional. I identify with the line in the song that says "I just got to get myself over me".

can't sleep

It's 3:38 am where I'm at (Cape, MO), and I cannot sleep...so I'm messing around with my blog...

cc pt 2

I guess I haven't really "decided", I just more or less could just not care about having a credit card, so I'm just not gonna activate it. At least that's the notion I have right now. I don't need a credit card for anything, I don't want to pay $150+ for HAVING a credit card that I don't need or badly want for any purpose...

noooooooooooo...

I found myself fancying the prospect of (eventually) buying a Sony boombox, then after, like, 10 minutes (ok, it was probably only like 5 minutes...), I was like "I don't have hardly any CDs!!! And I don't know what else to add to what little I already have!!!! Why the heck do I need a CD player of ANY kind????"...the more harrowing question, that I cannot find an answer for, is why is this the case?? There's like 10 billion CDs (at least, I'd think...) hovering in around and above + below this planet, and none of them are worth buying!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I've probably just worn out the ones I do "like", but you'd think with 30+ years of rock & pop, there'd be more to be wowed by other than a select handful of bands/artists...

cc

I got a "pre-approved" offer for a credit card...this time I decided to sign up for it, since it had been awhile since I got one (not that I blame them; I have like 100 different debts...). the main idea I had when I signed up was to get a shelf system with it, one that I saw on Target's website, then looked for at other sites to see if there was a better price. Circuit City has it for $125 w/ S&H & tax and one reviewer at some site I looked at said it would hold up through the years. My mom has a shelf system from the same company (SHARP), and it's lasted her almost 10 years.
The thing is this: I don't have a lot of CDs anyway, and I don't know what to add to my collection to make it more significant. And I'm not THAT picky about sound quality, so you'd think a $20 (or maybe $40) boombox would suffice; thing is, just about every boombox I've looked at has like a 2 1/2 star average rating on sites like Amazon.
Plus the card has a $150 annual fee, which isn't all that encouraging, but at the same time...idk...it'd just be nice to have that little bit of extra flexibility, I guess, instead of living on a set $637/mo until the SSI office decides that isn't enough (they usually raise it about $10-$30 at the beginning of every year). It just seems like a lot of payment and so little payoff.
I'm still thinkin' though.

poem: WOODSTOCKER

Is it easy for you to kill every beautiful thing, with your Midas touch?
Is it easy to buy happiness?
How do you sleep at night? What kind of lies do you tell yourself to convince you that what you do is right?
You fucked up Batman in ‘97, fucked up Woodstock in ‘99
Do you even have a heart to follow?
Your shit is hard to swallow
How does being hollow feel?

pg-13

FINALLY! THE DARK KNIGHT has a MPAA rating; PG-13, for (as usual) "action violence" (or something like that) and "some menace". I'm guessing The Joker isn't as menacing as I was led to believe in the previews...or maybe this will be the 2nd time the MPAA is forced to come up with a new rating, like they did with the "PG-13" rating when films like GREMLINS and INDIANA JONES pt. 2 came out and parents were like "what the heck? I'm not sure if this is really appropriate for children to see...". Of course, most parents realize that being scared is an attractive emotion for children, and a film like GREMLINS will not traumatize them. Warp their brains, maybe, but it won't traumatize them. And I don't know what most kids like, but when I was a wee lad, INDIANA JONES was one of the more boring features I saw. I still don't care for it all that much. I guess if a child were more of an outdoors type, they might like it. And, being an outdoors type, they wouldn't be traumatized by people eating "weird" foods or whatever...outdoors types KILL their own food and gut it and everything...ok, maybe not ALL outdoors types hunt, but anyway...but parents often don't understand their children. Parents don't get the difference between what they have been LED TO BELIEVE is "obscene" and what ACTUALLY IS obscene. Parents think a child who sees naked people is going to...what exactly do they think would be the impact? Do they even know what they think? And then some parents are so completely void of realization that they let their kids watch TV shows like THE SIMPSONS and SOUTH PARK, JUST BECAUSE they're animated. NVm WHAT the shows are displaying via their animation, why on earth would that matter?

emo

It seems like from around 2001-2004, there were all these emo bands making really deephearted albums that really spoke to the melancholoholic in all of us. Bands like Taking Back Sunday, Armor For Sleep, Senses Fail...none of those bands are making the kind of music that gave them their break, and it doesn't seem like anyone's really taken their place. My guess is they've "grown up", so...will the teenagers of tomorrow ever reinvigorate emo? Or is emo just not "cool" enough to warrant a comeback?

eBay

well, I got kicked off eBay for the millionth time...my original user ID was "nothingtofearmusic", and I was a member under that name for like 2+ years, although it seemed much longer than that (maybe it was...), but I got kicked off for not paying my eBay fees, which I thought I could take my time paying, and now they say I've gone too long not paying and they won't let me back...so after a while (a long while...), I came up with the clever idea of creating a new account with the same name & address (hasn't changed in 4+ years), and see if they catch on and if so, how much goodies I can obtain in what period of time...

I knew this plan wasn't gonna work after they found out what I was up to and kicked me off. after that, I decided it didn't matter how many non paying bidder strikes I get or how many negative feedbacks I get. If I change my mind about wanting an item or figure out that I actually have less $ than I thought I did, I can just NOT PAY, since my account(s) are just (very) temporary regardless of what I do right or wrong...

Well, I probably better wait about a month to create a new account. I created an account like 2 days after getting kicked off another and less than 2 days after THAT, they shut THAT one down, too...there's nothing I want that badly anyway; everything sucks, EVERYTHING;...which is why I like having rhapsody, which lets me reflect on how much everything sucks without paying to find out...sometimes I get some goodness out of the lesser sucky stuff, but it's all crock, more or less....

Invisible Touch...pt 2 of 2

I think - almost certain - I am going to sell my 1st Japanese pressing of INVISIBLE TOUCH. Since I got such a great deal on it, I can probably even make some profit. I just don't see myself EVER owning a high quality audio system. Unless I win the lottery, it just ain't gonna happen. However, last I heard my sister didn't seem willing to list it for me...maybe she'll change her mind soon, maybe not...if not, I guess I'll keep it until at least June...I can't sell on eBay right now 'cause I have no proof of funds (i.e.: debit card, bank account, etc.;) to show eBay I even have the possibility of ever paying them the fees I will owe them if I list something...once I get a Direct Deposit on this AccountNow Mastercard account I ordered, I can do that, but it costs $10/mo to do that, so...I only have $25 this month, so it just wouldn't be worth it for the time being, if ever...

Invisible Touch...

Well, I got the 1st Japanese pressing of INVISIBLE TOUCH by Genesis in the mail today. It went to my sister's address, but I was actually at my sister's house when the mail came...I listened to it on my mom's sound system, and enjoyed it. I don't think a DVD player, with or without speakers, would reproduce the kind of sound that a system dedicated to audio would...I mean, I don't even think a Home Theater System would do a 1st Japanese pressing of a CD justice; Home Theater Systems are designed with the intention of watching DVDs with...believe what you will, but a DVD is not simply a CD with video added to it. They may LOOK the same, but they're very different in terms of how they work. How do I know this? It's simple; if you look on eBay, you'll find various formats of discs; an example is: VCD (video compact disc). Is this the same thing as a DVD? NO. How do I know this? Because I've seen sellers on eBay warning people of that fact. I've seen the term VCD used in instruction manuals.

--- if you wanna prove me wrong, buy a laserdisc player that also plays VCD and try putting a DVD in there and watch in horror as your laserdisc player spasms and dies...$50 down the drain...---

But as I was saying, a home theater system isn't designed for Audio CDs, although I'm sure my copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH would sound better with one of those than with the system I'm currently working with, which is a DVD player hooked up to an old fashioned style TV (non HD). Not only is a DVD player not dedicated to reproducing high quality audio from a compact disc, but old fashioned style TVs just aren't designed to wow anyone. They've been around since the '50's; in the '50's they wowed people 'cause they were new. In the '90's and since then, they simply get the job done. My mother says TVs these days actually have lesser audio quality since just about everyone is dolling out for the home theater system; why put anything into the sound of a TV when the owner of the TV is just gonna add a seperate speaker system anyway?

In short, I can't tell much - if any - difference between my old copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH and the one I have now. I played it in my Mom's CD player and it sounded great, but I've never listened to my old copy in her CD player, so there's not much telling what kind of a difference there is between the two.

But yesterday I found a REALLY GOOD system, the same brand my mom has, which has lasted her almost a decade, and it's a 3 way speaker system with 230 watts power (I've seen $30++ shelf systems with only 50 or less watts), and the avg price is apprx $150. It's a bit less than that at circuit city (dot cooooom!). I swear, I'm glad they're offering free S&H, 'cause I WAS fortunate to have a Circuit City in my town of current residence, but people in this town are so dumb, they have no respect for a place like Circuit City. BestBuy's thriving, 'cause they play on people's affinity to trendyness, instead of emphasising quality. I go to BestBuy's website looking for something and I hardly ever find it. I go to their store and it's the same thing. I was looking for Blink 182's self titled album, which at the time was a few years old maybe, but they didn't have it. Instead they had like 10 copies of their ENEMA OF THE STATE, which I respect as having brought pop-punk as we know it today (not the old fashioned Ramones/Green Day style pop-punk...) to the forefront of people's attention, but it simply just isn't as good of an album. But I guess the 15 year olds who make up BestBuy's core audience don't notice or don't care...everything's too new and fresh for them to find subtle flaws with. I guess that's good for them, I sure wish I could be 15 again, but I'm not; for me, it's mostly "been there, done that" and nobody caters to people like that.

I only have $25 to spend this month, so here's hoping May will come and go quicker than April did, and June will be here and I can have my Sharp 5-disc changer...or here's hoping it'll still be available for purchase for a decent price at that time...