happy happy joy joy

Well, it's been about a year, give or take a few months, since I was made aware of the prospect of buying (for about the millionth time) INVISIBLE TOUCH (1986) by former-prog-rockers GENESIS. It's been maybe two years (prolly a little less than that, I would think...) since I'd made significant improvement on my ability to KEEP a CD; the copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH that I own now is a regular USA version (original mix, not the 2007 Rhino re-release) and I've had that for about 3 months or so...I bought it b/c I gave up trying to wrestle with the prospect of buying a 1st Japanese pressing of it vs. eating out and doing periodic around-town shopping...my budget is so small, its' really not easy to let go of $30+ just for a CD...I've never even heard INVISIBLE TOUCH in that way, nor have I heard ANY other CD in that context...so for all I know, the sound quality will be insignificant to me.

But backing up a little, I WOULD have had my current copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH by Genesis for more like 1 1/2+ years, but the most previous copy I had, I got rid of b/c I was thinking I was going to get a 1st Japanese press of INVISIBLE TOUCH (I don't remember what the cost was, but at the time, for whatever reason, I felt fine with it...), but then after I won the auction on eBay, I noticed the item description said - in lamen's terms - that the CD and/or its counterpieces were in pathetic condition. Not worth buying period, especially so for $20+ (I can't imagine it having been less than that...).

I think it's interesting how long I went without having that CD after I got rid of my most previous copy. It seems like it was around 6 months, and I thought about buying it again from time to time, but I figured I'd hold out for a 1st Japanese press...but lately it seems they've actually been getting more expensive; either that, or I just don't have as much $ as I used to (there's prolly some bill I have that I didn't use to...although I can't think of what it would be...). So earlier this year I found one for under $5.00, and got it.

Well, thank goodness for family! I FINALLY found a 1st Japanese pressing for UNDER $20!!!! However, I didn't/don't have the $ for it, but my sister bought it for me without even asking me the usual "are you sure it's worth it...are you sure there won't be a better deal that comes along...". Of course, I owe her about $20 (she's not rich, just well positioned...).

I haven't gotten it in the mail yet, so I'll need to verify the reality of this situation...if it turns out the seller was/is honest and the item is in good (enough) condition, I'll probably make a $1 or so off my current copy of INVISIBLE TOUCH. Until then, I don't see the point in getting rid of it...

unforgivable...

Seriously, why do I always hear about films that have "nothing but killing and language"? I can't even remember how many times I've heard people say that about a movie. Do you all not realize how stupid that sounds? Firstly, there's never been such a film made. If it was ever made it was probably made in the very early days of cinema when being "creative" was less of a challenge since there were so many things undone at that time...2ndly, ALL films have conflict of some kind. Even the black & white picket-fence TV shows of the '50's surely had some conflict. I haven't even seen one of those, as I was raised in the '80's with color TV, but I saw a SNIPPET of one - once, and not even the entire thing - and the only little piece of a B&W picket-fence TV show I have ever seen was on a news show that was - for some reason I don't remember - talking about the differences between families of today and families of the '50's...it was a scene where the mother was defending her husband to her son, justifying his hypocricy over "foul" language. Actually, there's another little snippet of a TV show from BEFORE that era that I remember too. Does "one of these days _, one of these days; STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!" sound familiar? Not a very "positive" quote is it? Funny, maybe, if you have fond memories of that show, but I don't think threats are all that funny, regardless if they have any weight to them.

Any # of things can be deemed offensive. What's absurd is how people's interpretations of "offensive" vary from one family to the next and hardly anybody seems to comprehend how true that is. This one dude was "describing" that Mel Gibson film, APOCALYPTO or whatever it was called, and said "yeah, it's a good film if you like seeing blood and guts" (not an exact quote). I tried telling him how likely it was that the film was more or less about HOW those "blood and guts" appeared on the screen and not so much that they were there...of course, for those morbid people - like myself, who am not the only one - blood and/or guts can be an interesting sight, something to send a jolt of - shall we say - LIFE through me...but for those who care more about plot and story and/or whatever, there was more than just a big pile of blood and guts to stare at for 90++ minutes (I think the film is actually over 2 hours...which I think would bore just about everyone except maybe a biology student, but you'd have to have some sort of narration guiding the student along so that the student isn't missing anything...either that or the film would have to come with a checklist or study pamphlet...).

I don't even see how a film about human sacrifice can NOT be gory, unless it's a cartoon in some made up land where people don't bleed. Anyone who isn't too much of a wimp to shy away from the subject matter alone, however, will not tolerate that kind of compromise of truth. People, more often that not, either want to live in a fantasy land where there's no horror, or they want to look at it in the eye and not turn away. APOCALYPTO (sp??) is of the latter. There's no way you can take a film with subject matter that deals with such irrational behavior and turn it into a philisophical story. That would be "bate and switch" as they say...of course, nobody would get sued for it, but a lot of $ would be wasted on the production of the film...

And I just read a review on Amazon and it had some dude saying he was "sorry" for "giving away the plot" for PLATOON, of all films. Here's his ADHD-infused recap: "a bunch of people cuss and get killed x 10 (apprx.)". I'm paraphrasing, since Amazon's reviews are copyrighted, but is it really just the "evil" non-Bible-thumpers that see how stupid that sounds? PLATOON! I repeat: PLATOON! Did he think the film was BALLOON 'cause he misread the title on the box? That really would explain it, I give that some cred, but I really don't think that's it. I think the harrowing image on the box-art would be a dead giveaway even if he didn't read the back cover where the description of the film usually is...

I was also reading about this book called LIES OF SILENCE by Brian Moore, I think the name was...it was about this dude who is faced with the decision of helping hiw wife not die at the hands of the IRA or helping multiple people - many likely in the same position he's in - not die at the hands of the IRA...the book makes it sound like a tough decision, from what I hear, but it really shouldn't be that hard. Painful, yes, but what the heck is up with people? I hear the same lack of care for one's fellow man/woman in child molestation cases; the victim(s) don't wanna testify 'cause "it's so hard to relive those moments"...yeah, so you're the only person that matters, right? Nevermind hope for a better world for the future children of this world or whatever, just screw your neighbor's grandkids and just *TRY* to pretend like you never had anything bad happen...

The word of the day, for those who don't get the connection, is EMPATHY. Is that such a hard idea for people to grasp?

to never be sick...

Scientific research suggests that antibacterials and antibiotics are overused; germs and the like are becoming immune to them. Yet there seems to be more of it than ever. This isn't my idea, I learned this from my mother. She says it's "almost impossible" to find kitchen cleaner that doesn't have antibacterial ingredients in it, which is absurd 'cause if you just use hot water and regular soap, there's little to no danger of anything really bad happening. The exception to that, of course, would be a counter top where meat was/is prepared.

Does nobody get what will happen when germs finally become immune to antibacterials completely? There's no substitute for those and I'm thinking there probably won't be any anytime at all soon. People have gotten so scared of germs that only cause a little bit of a cold that spreads for about a month and then goes away. If people could call in sick to work without getting fired, maybe something good might happen, such as mankind working together to keep another bubonic plauge coming our way.

Of course, people argue that the cause of the bubonic plauges was unclenliness. Well, I'm not against being clean. I'm against trying to wipe out every single germ that people come in contact when A) that is impossible and B) it will, in time make matters worse.

What a lot of people just don't get is that "medium" (aka "happy medium") is usually the best way. If you observe science, you'll see that is usually the way things naturally occur anyway...there's a scale for everything, and at each side of the scale, you pretty much have the same result. It is only the middle of the scale where you see a significant difference.

Of course, even in social life/lives, medium is usually best as well. It's called a "compromise"; it's also called democracy if it's done in the White House (i.e.: Congress will not agree on a bill that will, as an example, destroy the baseball card collection of any and all German-Americans, b/c even though German-Americans might be a somewhat small group of people, they still have the power to vote and most likely a politician they can identity with will arise and even though that politican will most likely lose, it'll take away votes that COULD be going toward one of the other candidates who may - or may not - need those votes.).

I can understand not wanting to miss a day of work for the sake of a few hundred dollars, or even $50, depending on the standard of living one has, but for people to think they can destroy all germs is totally egotistical; nature has the final say in all. Even if you disregard religion, and just look at the facts...mankind does not rule the Earth. Hurricanes and droughts and such and such have happened time and time again and will continue to happen. Death will strike at any given time, regardless of date or time, and your remains will become the food for worms. We need not be so distracted by finanaces and war(s) and then forget about the future of mankind.

feel free to write your local congressmen if you feel the way that I do.

jury duty

Oh, yeah; you may be wondering how the heck I just posted my last post if I was SUPPOSED to be at Jury Duty. Well, I got home about an hour or so ago. I wasn't picked to serve as a juror. Thank goodness.

the absolute

well, I don't know if I posted about this, but I found out about a week ago that CDs DO wear out from over-play. Apparantly there's a certain number of plays that a CD is capable of, then after that it won't play. Which means I either need to expect to replace my CDs, or just transfer my media to my computer.
The thing is, Rhapsody has almost every CD I ever wanna hear. What's the point of owning a CD when I'll need to replace it sooner or later? I mean, CDs go out of print, and if that happens before or by the time my CD(s) wear out, what will I do? Just live without it? If that's a reasonable option, why not just do without it to begin with? If a CD isn't so good you just HAVE to hear it, why buy it?

But there's no CDs that are that good. All CDs (or a lot of them) can be that way at any given time...it depends on the mood you're in. So until the rates for Internet Radio providers skyrocket and bankrupt Rhapsody, I'll have Rhapsody and after that, I'll decide what to do...

But I thought I'd share my top 10 CDs, based on how well they reflect me as a person.


Armor For Sleep - Dream To Make Believe
Cold - Year of The Spider
The Grateful Dead - Dick’s Picks 36
Hidden In Plain View - Resolution
Avril Lavigne - Let Go
Oingo Boingo - Skeletons In The Closet: The Best Of
Prime sth - Underneath The Surface
The Starting Line - Say It Like You Mean It
Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends
Virginwool- - Open Heart Surgery

Armor For Sleep's "Dream..." is a good winter CD. Cold's "Year of the Spider" is a good alt-metal CD, very melancholic, yet spiteful... DP36 is a good CD for when I'm sleepy, HIPV's Resolution is a very uplifting CD on rare occassion(s), and Avril's "Let Go" sends shivers through me sometimes. "Skeletons" by Boingo is a good celebration of one's inner demon. Prime sth "Underneath The Surface" is a good self depreciating melancholic CD. TSL "Say It..." is a good happy youthful CD. TBS "Tell/Friends" is a good love/hate CD and Virginwool's "Open Heart Surgery" is a very good CD to hear during just certain days in the spring...but after I hear it, I gotta put it up for awhile to let it become new again, although I tend to overdo things too much...

These could be seen as my "favorite" CDs, but they get old fast and like I said, I have no reason to buy them since they wear out within about 40 years, much sooner depending on how often I put it/them in...and with Rhapsody and $637/mo income, I don't see any reason to buy them...

So that means my CD "collection" will remain incomplete for who knows how long...but, like, who cares? Does anybody really?

are you still mad?

My last post was kind of odd to say the least...for one thing, it didn't make a whole lotta sense, at least not in relation to the post b4 it...I don't think I said what I meant to say, and at this exact time, I'm not even sure what it was I meant to say...
I noticed the word "argue" come up quite frequently in the last discussion me and my friend had. The weird thing is I wasn't trying to combat him in any way. True, I may be too technical minded, which could be a bad thing since I'm not all that smart (i.e.: knowledgable), but all I did was ask him a question, and tell him why I asked the question after he answered. The "Real" reason I was asking the question(s) perhaps makes the question(s) kind of irrelevent...it always bothers me when people don't say what they mean, and it's almost equally annoying when people act like they don't know HOW to say what they mean. I don't expect Shakesperian language coming out of my IMs, but a definitive sentence would be a good start. But this dude thinks b/c it's IM that none of the rules of grammar apply at all...I, personally, think some of the "Rules" of grammar don't even need to exist, but there are some basics that I do admire and I try to abide by them regardless of what form I'm using to communicate. A mistake is one thing, but a complete unwillingness to comply is another.
But then again, what does that really mean anyway? Aren't most mistakes the result of lack of interest? I'm sure I sound like a hillbilly to some people, b/c I simply don't know (i.e.: haven't bothered to learn) the complete rules of grammar...most of the time I don't even bother to spellcheck, even when an electronic device is readily available at the touch of a button.
Which brings me to the real reason I feel somewhat guilty for the whole debaccle. I asked him what "description" he was reffering to, which is a somewhat unecessary question, although I was a bit curious b/c I said more than a description, it was a well-rounded description of my opinion and experience with the CD I was talking about. I suppose I knew what he meant, but the REAL question I should have asked to begin with was "did you like my description or the whole paragraph?", which pretty much makes the whole damn thing my fault.
I'm not even signed on to IM, b/c my internet is a crying shame (keeps disconnecting on me...) and I'm sure Chris is either at work or something...he says he doesn't carry grudges, but he keeps telling me off about a couple comments I made loooooong ago about punctuation, so I'm sure this debacle will live even longer in his mind...when he finally does come back to say "hi" or whatever, he'll probably still be a bit angry...sometimes I wish the past could change somehow, and sometimes I wish I were somebody smarter who doesn't do/say all these stupid things...

now it comes...

After thinking about it for like 15+ minutes, it just occurred to me that I coulda been a little less critical...I really don't remember saying anything too demanding or insulting, but I suppose I was a bit nitpicky, which may have bothered my online friend (Chris). I guess I didn't realize how nitpicky I was being, 'cause that's pretty much how I think all the time; I take one piece of information and strip it down to its last layer to get all of its depth. Sometimes I get too caught up in that process I forget to add up all the pieces of information that are given to me...in other words I'm uptight, non easy going, etc....I gave Chris a link to this blog, since I've only told him about it (once) in passing, so hopefully this'll pass for an apology.
Later, dude (?)

much ado about nothing (?)

well, gee, look what I did; I just ruined my only friend's day b/c I informed him that I wasn't sure what he was reffering to and I asked him to explain, while providing a little bit of potentially helpful info...or something like that. I also corrected his punctuation like once or twice almost a year ago and he's still mad at that...the dude admits he's quite a space cadette, but can't admit that his communication skills might be hampered b/c of it...I don't think the guy's a dumbass, although I don't know why he'd defend himself with such vigor when his defense only seems to be "don't tell me I'm wrong or I'll be mad at you". I guess the guy has too much pride...he got mad at me one time 'cause I mentioned the possibility of his mother being poor...yeah, it seems to me he has too much pride...which would cool if he earned it, but the dude's just a regular joe like anybody else...who doesn't know how to make himself clear. He takes about as long as I do typing his instant messages, and a) can't come up with a decisive sentence and b) can't ADMIT that he can't come up with a decisive sentence. Then he abruptly signs out of IM, for reasons I'm not 100% sure of. Maybe he went to bed, maybe I just "pissed him off" too much...

what about the twinkie?

Ok, someone's really been pushing my buttons!!!! (j/k). No, but seriously; I have almost $10 in my AdSense account...thanx to whoever's been clicking on the ads...

Aside from that, I just rented Sweeney Todd (finally...), and I plan to watch it in the next couple of days. I ate at McDonald's for breakfast - McChicken sandwiches for $1.00 is VERY worth it - and then I paid $3.00 (my sister chipped in $2.??) so that me, my Mom and my sister could have a gathering in the name of donuts. I also bought a Starbucks coffee - not a late', just a regular coffee...it was tolerable. I'm not at all used to drinking strong coffee. I put quite a bit of "half and half" (creamer) in it, and it still tasted pretty strong. I think that's a good thing, 'cause the United Pussies of America did NOT invent coffee, and I don't see who they are to try and tone it down. I haven't actually had authentic European coffee, if I did it would prolly kill me (I can't help my circumstances; I was born into this culture; I never had any reason to try and get out until I was too at home with it...), but I hope to work my way up to it eventually...or not...

My days' pretty much over as far as "events" go...I plan to listen to Rhapsody until sometime after dark, then maybe watch a film. My mother loaned me THE BRAVE ONE, so I gotta get that watched ASAP so she can return it to the video store.

one annoyed man

I was summoned as a juror earlier this year. They sent me a jury duty notification card a while after informing me that I would probably get one before my term of service was up, but the trial was cancelled, and I was all excited, and happy etc.; well, I just got another jury duty notification card today, I'm supposedly to go to the courthouse, which is conveniently located right down the street from where I live, on the 24th of this month. My term of service ends on the 9th of May, so...hopefully this will be the last time...
My psychiatrist told my mother (who in turn told me, duh) that they aren't supposed to summon people who have psychotic disorders...but based on the info my Mom told me (can't remember coherent specifics), I'm guessing it'd be more hassle to try and get excused than actually go to the trial and serve my term with dignity and all...I'm not sure if I'll do a good job at it, in any case; I don't think very coherently, and I have a hard time listening to people talk...I really have to struggle to get all the info in my head, and even then I usually miss something...

On a brighter note, I have $20 in my wallet. My sister's been managing my budget for the last year or so, and she always sets about $70+ for "misc." stuff - household supplies that aren't classified as "bills"... - and it's the 18th (I get my $ monthly, on the first) and I had $48 unspent, so she let me have $20 (to spend on entertainment or whatever). woo-hoo!

4/17/08; my inet f'd up on me, so I lost this draft until I saw it on a list of posts/drafts that I dind't know how to access until just now...

weather is great, went to SEMO (South East Missiouri) Video to return something that was like 4 days overdue...on the way back went to this neat little shop that had a bunch of cool stuff, but only had $0.75 on me, so I got a $0.64 soda (A&W).





I just added a bunch of HDTV crap to my BestBuy.com shopping cart and it appears as if I need to spend $1,750 (apprx) to get the complete picture...of course, there's a bunch of other neat stuff I "could" buy, but I barely have any hope of achieiving $1,750, s0, neh! I just added the basics: HDTV, Blu-Ray player, HDMI cable and 5.1 Channel "Home Theater" system...gosh, it's amazing how much it costs to have fun and keep in good taste!





I decided the 1080i isn't the best deal for me, 'cause the only things that are "clear" are the colors, and that don't mean jack to me, well, i Mean, it sure don't mean $250++ that I don't have; 1080p is THE best picture quality, 'cause the ENTIRE image flows smooth(er) AND it has good colors, but apparantly 1080p is EXTREMELY expensive; there's a good alternative, that has a smooth picture, with less clearer colors, but I can't remember the name of it...I think that's the one I have in my BestBuy.com shopping cart, but it was like half an hour ago or more, so I've already forgotten...

here's tomorrow man

Well, I haven't posted in a few days...nothing much going on in my life...I've fwd'd my Yahoo! mail to my Gmail acct and I've been very tired much of the time...I feel like a joke writing about this, although I guess it is news, sortof...

Hell freezes over...

Well, I've decided to turn in my B&N membership. That lady was such a bloodhound...I hope she or someone like her isn't at the desk when I TRY to return my membership in exchange for a cash refund...I'll be fumbling for excuses/reasons, none of which will be good enough for her/him...as if a "good enough" reason has a damn thing to do with it.

It would be nice to think of myself as a "Barnes & Noble member", but in reality their speciality is BOOKS and I don't like to read. I read 35 pages of the book I bought there, CLOSER by Dennis Cooper and I don't like it. Sure, they have DVDs and CDs, but there's not at all many CDs I wish to own bad enough to pay $15+ for them (or even $10 for that matter), and if you ask me, DVD just perfectly reflects the current state of our economy, not just as of now, but like since...I don't know, I guess it's slowly gotten worse;
Truth is, there's very few if any films that are worthy of these over the top "deluxe editions" that come out once every few months. Films like TITANIC and FIGHT CLUB and BOOGIE NIGHTS have very luxurious packaging in their "special edition" format, but the films are just not worth it. Nither one of those 3 films are perfect and perfection SHOULD be the ideal; if you can't make it perfect, then at least bow your head in respect for the disappointment you create(d) and quit acting like you deserve "red carpet" treatment...of course, SO MANY films are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY below the quality of those 3 films that to one without a good++++ imagination it would SEEM as if those films ARE perfect, but they're not.
== they fit the main qualifications of "awesome" aka GOOD entertainment, but they ARE NOT perfect. Far above average, yes, NEAR perfect? Maaaaybe...
Of course, music is the most childish thing on the planet, or you would think based on the direction its been taking the last 60+ years. Heck, I even came to the conclusion about a month or so ago that the music of the Backstreet Boys is exactly the kind of music you'd expect to find on a children's program like Seaseme Street; of course, genre-wise, it's different; Seaseme Street, last I checked, has more of a "singer-songwriter" type style to it, whereas the Backstreet Boys is like all dance-pop stuff. the only difference between the qualities of Backstreet Boys music and Big Bird's music is the lyrics; they're obscene! At least they are when you consider who they're being marketed to...well, I guess most of their lyrics are just about love and all that, but why do 6 year olds need to be listening to that? 6 year olds should be daydreaming, not trying to find a soul mate.
I used to think music came from the heart/soul. But the more I listen to music, the farther out I reach into the frontier, the more pointless it sounds. At best, it sounds comedic, but usually it's just noise or weirdness or both for no reason at all. The comedy kicks in when they realize that there IS no point, and they start making fun of that fact and trying to elaborate on it and get a little bit of thought going on...
If I go on any further, I'm prolly gonna start feeling suicidal, so I'm gonna end this here and let you either judge me or come to your own conclusions about how much truth is in what I say...until then...(======)

lost days...

I read about 20 more pages of LOST SOULS this morning, and was a little disappointed with the direction the story seems to be taking...the setting at this point seems to be a dead end hick town, the only sign of anything exciting being a bar/restaurant that caters to what most would call "goths"...idk...wish there was a fairly easy way to find out if I should keep reading...I still have over 200 unread pages, which seems daunting since I haven't even read that many...I checked the book out on April 5th, and I was apprx. on page 90, and now it's April 10th and I'm on page 140 apprx; that means I've read 20 pages per day on avg; that means if I had kept that pace when I had first started reading it, and hadn't stopped reading it, I would have taken over a week to get where I am now...that means it's prolly gonna take about 2 more weeks to finish this book...at least...
I guess I'll stop reading it and let curiosity guide me...just like what caused me to pick the book back up on the 5th of April...if that doesn't happen, it means the author didn't do her job at keeping my attention.

further reading

Wow, I can't believe how much enjoyment I've been getting from that LOST SOULS book by Poppy Z. Brite. I've read about 12 additional pages since the most previous post stating I'd just finished 8...that makes at least almost 20 pages having been read by me today...pathetic for an "avid" reader, but for me, it's surprising, to me anyway...

B&N

I finally bought a Barnes & Noble membership ($25). I went there to pick up a book that I had special ordered, titled CLOSER by Dennis Cooper, and the sales lady seemd rather persistant about me buying one, and I had been wanting to since before this year even started...so now I need to make special note of buying from them...they're prices are pretty steep compared to other retailers, but they do have good deals occassionally...especially with books, since the only place(s) that I have easy-access to that charges less than the cover price on books is/are online merchants... although I really don't read much (I just finished about 8 pages of LOST SOULS by Poppy Z. Brite.) so I prolly won't save much on books...they do have a really neat cafe' though.
So that's good news for the month, I think...may not mean much to most people, but to me, who has little else going on in his life, it's a sweet dream come true!

reminders/notes...

I feel like scum, 'cause I know Danielle(my sister)'s birthday will be minimized in scope...one year she paid for me, Mom and her to eat out...Mom should have done that, or at least I. Certainly not her...and now she's saying she wouldn't care if I didn't get her anything...I guess her expectations are pretty low...why shouldn't they be? What does she really have to look forward to? Plus she and Mom say I'm annoying, always talking and ???...I feel like the best gift I could give, aside from stifling my personality, would be just staying away from her, so she and Mom don't get upset and blame me from ruining the day...I sent her an e-card in observation of her birthday and she apparantly didn't have time to read it...
To top that off, I almost always have something to look forward to; if I'm not expecting something in the mail, it's the Saturdays that Danielle sacrifices to relieve my boredom...she runs me around, taking me places I want/need to go...
My mom's feeling ill, although it seems to be somewhat improving...doctors don't even know what's wrong with her, they've taken xrays and stuff, but nothing's showing up...her legs go numb and I can't even remember what else she's been having trouble with...something with her arms and back, I think...and my mom's living with Danielle (Danielle has her own house/mortgage, hooray!!), so Danielle often has to stay home and look after Mom...
I listened to THE WAY WE WALK VOL. 2 this morning; I actually enjoyed it, despite yesterday's post(s)...I woke up around 3am, since I went to bed around 8pm...I might go to sleep again later; I don't think that's enough sleep for most people...and since I'm messed up in the head, they say the "chances" of me needing more sleep are fairly likely...mentally ill people usually have a more difficult time sleeping...
I wanted to have gotten a soda by now, but I brushed my teeth for the first time in over 3 days, so now my mouth is all minty feeling...not a good thing to pair with soda...the Jaspers right down the street opened at 6am, and now it's 6:37 according to my computer (and my alarm clock/radio/cassette player as far as I can tell, although I'm not looking at it right this minute, 'cause it's in the other room...).
My Gramma Della is driving my mom to get a shot for her pain...on the way to or back from, they're gonna pick up my cat food from the vet's office, since Napoleon, apprx. 9 years old, needs special food to keep from forming crystals that block his urine...and Napoleon's almost out of that "special food"...he has some canned food, but I don't like feeding that to him unless I have to; I wanna save it for any time(s) when there's NO POSSIBLE WAY to get him more food when he runs out of dry food...actually, if this scenario were to have happened a couple months ago, that may very well have been the case; the later part(s) of winter were HORRIBLE!; sleet and ice all over the roads and sidewalks, snow, rain, and it seemed like it might never end...weather's finally looking up, though. On igoogle, it says there's a "chance" of light showers this morning, but other than that the worst is most likely gonna be just "mostly cloudy"ness...that's a lot better than the constant off and on and on again rain that we've been getting I guess ever since the winter-hell ended...not sure what if anything happened in between the WH and the CR...

The Way We Feel (your mother's in here with us...)

Got my WAY WE WALK V2 cassette today!! Forgot that I had written about me expecting it, only fair to let any "readers" (like anyone's reading this, but oh well...) know what's up when I make an impending notice like that...not too terribly enjoying it...it's good background-ish noise...I just haven't been enjoying my CD collection all that much since I guess yesterday...I've been eager to listen to more adventerous outings, stuff I'm not all that familiar with...which makes Rhapsody a good thing (for me) to have...I'll prolly start paying for it when my free subscription period ends, which I think will be in June...toodles.

thanx for nothing at&t

stupid goddamn internet!!!!! I had a post finished and ready to go and then I clicked "POST" and it took me to a "internet explorer can't display this" page...I clicked the back button and it was gone! ALSJLAS;JSDL;SDJLD;KJAD;KLJ;DLKJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can either re-write it or just wait 'til I feel like writing about that topic again...my nerve has died...ALAJFL;DSJDSL;FKSJDL;DSJDSL;DSKJDSA;LKSJD;KLAJD;DL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Way I Look At The Way We Walk...

I'm expecting a cassette tape (music) in the mail...it's Genesis' "Live/The Way We Walk Volume Two: The Longs"...I remember my Mom had Volume One: The Shorts (the one with all the radio hits...), and I saw V2 at a PayLess DrugStore in Marina, California and was like "woah, what IS this!!?", 'cause on Volume One, the colors were pretty much just gray and black...on Vol. 2, it had the SAME PICTURE except with different colors, which at the time seemed like an explosively potent idea to me...then I got home and listened to it and didn't really know what to make of it...I didn't even know what a "medley" was, and the opening track was a 19+ minute medley of songs from the Peter Gabriel era of Genesis, which at the time was a foreign concept to me...but after awhile, I took a shine to the songs, especially the best-ever-officially-released version of "Home By The Sea/Second Home By The Sea". Of course, I also liked "Domino", which I'd heard before on their INVISIBLE TOUCH album...I have since those days grown accustomed to buying most of my music on CD, since tapes became harder to find locally and weren't that much cheaper in most cases, and now that I do most of my music shopping online, I find that tapes are sometimes even MORE expensive than CDs, which is the case with THE WAY WE WALK VOLUME TWO: THE LONGS...but some things never fully go away; I didn't own this recording on CD originally, when it was new and fresh; I owned it on cassette...that'll never change. And the inner sleeve of the cassette just doesn't look the same as the inner sleeve of the CD...yeah, it's the same pictures, but they're not aligned the same way in the same size and shape(s)...and those were some groovy lookin' photos they put with the music...same with the Volume One, but...different...

Oh, yeah; I'm expecting my mail soon...waitin' on the mailman...any time now, any time...

LOST SOULS

I checked out Poppy Z. Brite's LOST SOULS from the library on Saturday. I had bought it from Hastings (see gohastings.com for more info...) awhile ago and got to about page 90...so I just picked up about 10 pages prior to where I had left off to refresh my memory, and am now on page 100. I don't know what to expect in further reading, but so far the book is fantastic!!! I just finished reading a part where this one vampire named Christian had been found out, and had to leave the city of New Orleans to keep from being killed...the last page described a sense of sorrow at having to leave New Orleans, which makes sense to me, based on my understandings, as limited as it may be...correlating to that aspect of the book is a part where this half-human/half-vampire teen (he was like 15 or so...) decided to ditch the town he lived in (I can't remember where exactly that is/was...) and travel in search of something better...I swear, the book at these points is soooo powerful; it just gives me this big scary feeling, not scary in a "horror movie" sense, but scary in the sense of like falling from a cliff, or bungie(?)-jumping...not that I've ever done that, but I can imagine...I don't know, there's times in one's life when their stomach is just tied up in a knot due to anticipation...it's hard to explain...it's not just anticipation...I don't know, reading about people who are courageous enough to leave behind something so intregel to their lives is kinda scary...makes me wonder if I could do that...like just leave behind Cape Girardeau, MO and head for New York or Boston or something...I guess it's a very appealing fantasy that isn't too far out of the realm of possibility. for some reason, my stomach is shivering...when that settles down, I'll probably read more...the intensity from just thinking about it is enough for now!!

the way bad makes me feel

Nostalgia...man, it's a neat emotion. I guess I dwell on it much of the time b/c my life these days is no lame...it's pretty much old to me, nothing wonderful and exciting...1988 was THE year for me, though. It was when Michael Jackson was still a riot-inducing presence, and his video for "Bad" had been around a few or more months, and "Weird Al" Yankovic had come out with a parady of it (titled "Fat"). It was before I started school, before the country dissolved into caos, and before I started noticing that the world isn't perfect. Music started becoming more "R&B" flavored, with songs like "Don't Worry Be Happy" and "Everybody Plays The Fool" becoming big hits on the radio. Friendly Bill Cosby was doing Jello commercials, and California Raisins were hearing through the grapevine. I was also living in a (very?) spacious trailer on a military fort in California, my father was still around (sometimes...), and GHOSTBUSTERS hadn't yet faded from the popular vonacular. Saturday mornings were It, with Loony Tunes, The Real Ghostbusters, and, yes, the Ninja Turtles, although I didn't care for most of what was on (I remember trying to argue with my sister about why she had to watch the Care Bears...).

Why am I writing all this? I don't know...I skipped writing my blog yesterday, and I got nothing better to do. I have a lifelong companion (Phil Collins/Genesis) singing "Throwing It All Away" through my Sanyo TV via a DVD(CD) player, and it's totally not compelling me...what am I to do? I always try to think of why I don't have a job, what exactly is "wrong" with me, and I can't think of anything to say...my vocabulary isn't that extended, plus I have a very limited knowledge of science...excuses, excuses I guess...I'm physically capable of getting a job, I can do anything I set my mind to, but why the heck would I set my mind to slaving away for a measily $7 an hour? It just shrivels my insides to think about it...

It's a nice day today...weather is damn near perfect! I should go out to eat...there's a wonderful downtown atmosphere nearby, full of restaurants and such...I have money on me, but then again, I'm hungry. I think it's cold out, too, and I'm wearing shorts...I could put pants on, but...man, is it really that important? The sun is coming through my backdoor and the windows just fine...

krautrock

I always feel a kind of satisfaction finding out about CDs that were made 30+ years ago that are much loved and admired by a "cult" following...I knew about Tangerine Dream for a long time, since I was about 13 or so, b/c they do the soundtracks for movies every so often (or they used to at least...), so, out of boredom I guess, I ended up searching for them on Rhapsody, and listened to one of their albums titled EXIT (1981), and enjoyed it, so I looked for that on Amazon, put it in my cart, but I noticed a review of that CD which recommended I listen to RUBYCON ("generally regarded" as their best CD), so I listened to that on Rhapsody as well, and enjoyed it, and added it to my Amazon cart, too...well, next thing you know I'm bombarded with CDs by Klaus Schulze, who was a member of Tangerine Dream and apparantly left early on in pursuit of a foray into his own music, which, based on what I've read, is really a foray unto its own...
But anyway...I've been listening to mainstream rock/pop all my life, until the last few years when I discovered Rhapsody and found myself not listening to the radio at all (except online radio...) and now I listen to a lot of stuff, not anything in particular, although I'm fascinated and admiring of the EMO genre. I think it's interesting how emo has been around for over 20 years but hasn't even been "popular" until less than 10 years ago...I also think it's interesting how emo has evolved in its short life span...my intro to emo was Taking Back Sunday and Saves The Day etc.; quite a world out there beyond the surface, ya know?
But despite my obsessions, I find myself with only 8 CDs that I intend to keep (plus 3 others that I'm half-heartedly trying to get rid of and are just kinda sitting on the 'outfield' of my apt so to speak...) and $40 in my budget that has yet to find a purpose. I get $ on the 1st of the month, and it's now the 6th...I swear, if I were 16 and had this $ on me then, I'd blow it ALL on CDs. I'd be like "to hell with soda, MUSIC!!", but these days I find that buying CDs is more of a waste of $ than soda, since I don't usually keep them and I rarely even enjoy them. Some are OK, but what kind of response to having paid $15 for something is "It's OK"??
Maybe I think about things too literally, to the point where I'm just a machine, like any other, untouched by music...there's some songs that get to me, but not very many...and I can't alwasy rely on those songs to speak to me in any significant way...I could put a Mixed CD (CD-R) on repeat, and I'd turn it off by the time track 4 of the 2nd coming ends...
I guess I'm hopeless...i don't know...not sure what the point would be in further elaborating...I suspect it would annoy some...(?)...

will anyone care enough about anything 20 yrs from now to buy my Coke bottle on ebay?

I swear, I don't know if it's worth it to keep this 4-pk of 1886 glass Coke bottle replicas I bought at WalMart today...I think back to 1994, when after 2 years of being away from home things began looking up for me, and I get this tingly warm feeling inside, like a big New Year's party...(like the 1999/2000 one, remember?), but then again I've been told time and time again by various sources, some direct and others not so direct, that I'm in a minority of people that, if observed, would give one the impression the world isn't "going to Hell"...in other words, I was raised with love and good sense. My mom tells me that's rare and you'd get the idea others think that by the way people talk sometimes...I don't have much, if any, of a social life, so I can't say much for the rest of the world. the town I live in seems fine for the most part, but, again, my mom says that's rare (Cape Girardeau isn't like "most" towns...or so she says), and I have not much ability to argue with that...I used to live in Central California, but I didn't get out much there...I'd always hear about gangs causing trouble/caos, but I never saw any or much evidence of a statewide/nationwide breakdown in society.
But, according to scientists, children need to play like children in order to develop into adults. And according to the News, they don't, at least not most of them. Kids these days want their parents' electronics. Of course, you'd wonder why...what the heck does an 8 year old need a camcorder for? Granted, genuius' come in varying sizes, but as far as the avg child...seriously...?? Perhaps parents aren't doing enough to give their kids a childhood worth remembering, which comes to the original post. Will anyone give a crap about my replica Coke bottles 20 years from now? Of course, you got your history buffs, but wouldn't a history buff pay an extra sum of $ for the real thing? Really, when you're talking about items made 10 or 20 years ago, the ones who care are the ones who were there, but moved on with their lives and wanna disappear into the past a little bit...(or a lot...).
But maybe not...I can't say I myself am a collector...I don't buy stuff b/c it's "officially" a "collectible"...I don't care about buying useless junk. I sometimes buy Ghostbusters action figures b/c I find them visually appealing and nostalgia-inducing to look at. the sculping of the figures themselves and even the packaging around the figures unopened is a real feast for the neon-driven eye. I also sometimes buy other things I think of as unique to a time frame other than the lame one I live in now.
And YES, the time I live in is lame. It's not just b/c I'M lame...believe me, I was really happy 2 or 3 years ago when there was this new rado station that showed promise for the present and future of music...around 2002-2004 or 2005, music in general seemed to be improving, even the pop(ish) music. Bands like Taking Back Sunday and The Starting Line really made me think things were looking up. Then around 2006, that new radio station started playing less variety and less good music. Suddenly, it's like it's 1998 again, with Godsmack on the "rock" scene and Backstreet Boys on the "pop" side...I know neither of those "artists" are even on the Top 200 these days, but others with just as much blandness have taken their place. These days its Lostprophets and My Chemical Romance etc...then on the pop side, it's I don't even know, 'cause I haven't had to listen to pop radio in so long...I rarely even listen to my local "alternative" station 'cause it's gotten so lame.
Actually, Taking Back Sunday and The Starting Line were just the tip of the ice berg when it came to what I perceive to have been music on the uprise. I can't really explain it, it just seems like music was becoming more of a thing of the soul than a thing of the mind...songs like "Seein' Red" by Unwritten Law and the shout-from-the-heart bubblegum pop of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne, and the bittersweet "The Game of Love" by Santanna feat. Michelle Branch, and Ben Fold's "Landed"...but it wasn't just the current stuff, it was this radio station (RAGE 103.7 if you wanna know...), it played music I'd missed out on being raised by a mother who feared what would happen to me if I listened to alternative rock music/heavy metal/etc.,;...this station played Vs. era Pearl Jam (think "Dissident"), and TONS of Radiohead (I could prolly fill half a CD of songs I fondly remember hearing by them on R103.7), plus a couple or so Dinosaur Jr. songs ("Feel The Pain" and "Out There" come to mind...), and PJ Harvey's "You Said Something"...they also played songs I don't even know who sang them or the names of 'em...the ones I know the artists/titles I could just go on and on and on with listing them...but now they hardly ever play any of that stuff. I don't know who plays the crud they got on there, but it reminds me of Godsmack and Saliva etc.; it's that macho biker stuff, sounds like men having a pissing contest...even the love songs sound like "outlaw country-rock" or whatever you wanna call that...that stupid song "Lips of an angel" by Hinder(?) and all those Daughtry and Nickelback songs - Nickelback are actually OK, but I don't need to hear them OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, the way Rage 103.7 plays 'em these days. Last I heard, Chad Croger (sp?) had a hit with Santanna, and of course Rage 103.7 is playing that like there's no tomorrow. And Santana is NOT alternative, even if you can classify Chad Croger's usual stuff in that section.
I've gotten off topic, I know, but I think I got the point through with my previous topic...
I hope I can think of more to talk about and post it before blogspot deletes my account...
Later(?)...