I went too long w/o reading The Bible and I could tell circa Saturday 10/15 as I stormed inward and outward through Amazon.com's customer review forum trying to knock sense into people who apparently never had any interest in making sense.
I remembered just now as I was typing this to delete those comments, or at least the ones I remember...
I read The Bible on Sunday and Monday. I brought my cell phone & Gideon's translation of The New Testament to my sis' house where I spent most of Wednesday (yesterday) and I spent not a whole lot of time on either, but nonetheless spent a lot more time on my cell phone than I did my Bible, to put it mildly.
I've been driving myself mad with lust. I don't see an end to that. I swear, my libido is more in my face now than it was when I was 16. And that's just freakin' weird, b/c my libido has existed ever since I was 6 or 7 years old.
It's all part of the same problem --- I don't do well as making bridges between myself and others and I never have. I keep thinking I might as well uproot and go to Haiti or someplace as a full time professional missionary, but I don't even know if that would solve the problem. How do you mission to people when you're heavily reluctant to say "hi" to people you pass on the street? Surel, I keep thinking, I'm just being impatient. That impatience could be taken further as in "Oh, why not just die already?" but I know this shell that houses the core of me will be taken away in due time. It's not my call to make. God doesn't need help. He doesn't need help spreading The Good News about Jesus even. He wants us to help in specific matters, such as evangelizing, and he demands it because laziness and cowardice would get in the way of things if he had made it sound like an option. Love of God leads to obeying his commands. Obeying his commands is beneficial to both Him and us. Cases where that is not true are instances of Satan ruling over the mind and God does dwell in vessels that are pumping black ooze instead of healthy blood. People need a blood transfusion that doctors can't provide. Doctors can often extend your existence, but they can't make your life worth saving.
My natural personality is at an advantage, I do often consider myself a nice guy overall, but the digital rampage I spoke of in paragraphs 1 & 2 are not a recent development. I have always been a self centered greedy snot. You might even say I'm a natural born hypocrite, always complaining about how much better the world would be if they took the plain as day message of Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror" to heart all the while comparing myself to others instead of looking at MY man in the mirror and making improvements as I see opportunities to do so. Obviously, not everyone is guilty of overt ugliness. Most people in Western culture aren't. Someone at The Washington Post described the disenfranchisement with D.C., stating there is no singular reason for people's distrust and disgust with politicians, therefore there's no easy way to fix the problem. Instead it appears to be a case of death by 1,000 paper cuts. How many paper cuts does the average person have to deal with on an average day? Do you trust your neighbor? If so, I'm happy for you. That means life's been really good to you. Most of us need to keep our doors locked to keep thieves at bay. And if that doesn't work, you can thank your 60" 4K TV if you're still alive and happy to be so by dawn's early light.
I've been eating like crazy since my EBT card was reloaded (the 13th) and if I haven't gained 15 lbs, I have God to thank for that, but I'm either stupid as all get out or The Higi Station (a hi-tech scale) at Publix on Baker Rd in Acworth Georgia needs to be fixed. That thing gave me 3 different #s in the span of less than 10 minutes. One was 218 lbs. One was 220 or something like that and the other was 238. None of those sound right. I'd weighed myself about a week prior and the scale said 264. A week before then it said 268. I have done nothing to cause a decrease of 20-50 lbs since I weighed 264. I might have lost 5 or so lbs, but by now I think I've gained it back and then some.
Meanwhile, at the Bat-cave...two Terminators were sent back through time.......
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