God forgives a lot. A disintction is made in The Bible about the love one has toward God based on what (s)he's been forgiven for. I feel like my effectiveness as a desciple of Christ is rather minimal, partly because of two things:
1) Just about everyone I come across already goes to church; I don't know how to convince the ones that don't into going
2) (mainly because of point1), I'm privileged enough to know how to live in a civil and civilized manner and have not engaged in murder or anything that would contribute to the murder of anyone (I think).
I am very blessed to have inherited citizenship from a country founded by Christ-minded individuals, as flawed as they were. The downside of that is I don't know how to make disciples as Jesus commanded. It probably also hinders me that my mind tends to work harder than my eyes. I'm constantly looking inward and beyond rather than at the surroundings and often when I try to think of solutions to basic fundamental life situations I come up empty. I can't imagine what I would do if I saw someone who others might say "This person needs help". I don't know if I've ever seen one such person and didn't look closely enough or not.
I am guilty of sin. Don't think living in mainstream USA makes anyone able to walk away from God. Mankind isn't meant to be Godless. Even if we weren't sinful, we would need God. We were not created to be independent. Nobody IS independent. Nobody is obligated to have a job position open. Job positions do open up and if you apply for it, you are not promised acceptance. Your skillset and your ability to convey what your skillset is and how greatly endowed with it you are can always be outdone by someone. Even if you're the best of the best, your skillset and quality thereof is not your own making. God can build you up just as easily as he will eventually destroy this dark world. He builds up many people, even those who spend their whole life in denial of His existence.
I don't claim to understand how or why God chooses what He does or how some people are Chosen and others aren't and what the fate of the everyday person is. I don't know for an absolute fact that making desciples is the ONLY way to invite others to God's Kingdom. As mysterious as God is to Christians, would it not be possible for someone to know God enough apart from Christ? Surely Adam and Eve knew God. Noah knew God and Moses did as well. Many people of the 12 tribes of Israel knew God. I only know that their knowledge of God existed because The Bible makes note of it. I have no idea what the villagers of Africa and modern day Asia were doing. I doubt it was much different than the fruitless superstitions of the nations that surrounded Israel for the most part.
The sad thing is many who know God still don't have any intention of honoring God. This is documented heavily in the entries of The Bible that are placed after, mainly 1st and 2nd Samuel, Kings and Chronicles. Kings and Chronicles begin so happily almost like a fairy tale then things get so grim you almost can't stand it. I think that's partly why Chronicles 1 & 2 are included in The Bible despite the bulk of it being recounting the bulk of Kings 1 & 2. It is helpful to be reminded of how good things used to be or could be even if this situation at hand is far from good.
I'm not exactly sure where I was leading to with all this or if I was leading to something. It seems like I had a topic sentence in mind but now I"m kind of confused as to what it was or why. I guess I'll leave it here.
[insert a head smack for having gone so long w/o posting as my way of presenting a sincere apology....not really, I'm actually typing this. A pause for a head smack was not made --- do I seem less sincere? Sure. After all, God is faithful to the end inasmuch as there ever is an end. I am not God.........]\
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