OH! Sorry ---- Not dead.

Furrrdge
Adjustment to living in the new house is a snap.  I'm not an amateur at this after all.
Kids are time consuming.  I try to be on the main floor many of days in case my sister needs help + it's good to have company outside my computer.
Quarantine just means or two less outings each week.  I usually have no real rock solid reason for going anywhere anyway.  Many times I've found myself exhausted and sickened by eyeing a bunch of cool things ------ that I can't afford.  So it's all good.
My sister got a budget figured out for me this past month that breaks off my credit card payments and allows me to have $50/mo.  Sounds like a good chunk of money right?  It isn't.  I blew through almost all of it within 5 days.  From May onward I'm committed to giving $25 of that to the local church each month.  I don't feel any "speaking" of The Holy Spirit regarding dollar amounts, so I'm just going by what God told Moses straight up and commanded to be relayed to the Isrealites a s whole ---- 10% of everything.  I don't know what exactly "everything" is, but inasmuch as I'm aware, 10% is what I'm tithing.  I don't count the monetary value of gifts I receive, because my money gets spent on whatever I can afford.  Nobody has broken down the grocery costs per person, for instance.  Do the sanitary wipes I use get paid for by my income?  I have no clue.  It's all divvied up and spread out with no sense or order.  I have no clue what to tithe beyond what I am given clear as day by the Federal Government.  Obviously I get more than $250.  My entire check from the gov't is $771 but $600 of that just goes immediately to my sister and my sister uses that to calculate the amount of her tithe, basically tithing on my behalf...sorta...I would like to tithe $90 / mo but I'll have to rid myself of my Overstock.com credit card before I can even consider that.  And even that wouldn't be enough to enable it.  I'd still be missing about $5.00.  And I'd have no money whatsoever to even pay a measily $10 for a Spotify subscription.  Or a $5.00 Pandora Plus subscription.  Not that I necessarily need those.  Pandora is usually tolerable even with ads.  Spitify a little less so but still doable.

Aaanyway.  Still struggling to find the will to read God's Word on a regular basis.  And finding myself at fault in my actions because of that.  I finally took my antipsychotics for the first time in like 3 days.  I can't remember if I missed 2 days or 3.  too many in any case. 

Had my psych appt a couple days ago.  ATL Behavioral Medicine has got some serious communication issues.  They scheduled an appt with me --- by video chat --- and gave me these weird ass instructions and never got back to me.  Then they called me several days later saying "You had an appt at 3:15, so we need to reschedule"  Ok.....why did I have an appt and 3:15 yet nobody told me this?  They "re"scheduled the appt for the day formerly known as "tomorrow" and so I called to "check in" (one of the confusing points in the instructional email; I either have my phone on me --- as I should --- or I don't.........) and way before my scheduled appt time I have my video face to face w/ one of the staff there.  The next day I get some call about an appt I had scheduled for (((what at the time was considered))) TODAY!  what the fuck?  Tomorrow does not mean 2 days., it means ONE DAY away from THE current day!  The work day may have been coming to a close FOR THEM at 5:15 or whatever time that was that they called me saying my appt needed to be rescheduled.  But when it's 5:15, THE CALANDER DATE DOES NOT CHANGE!  Like fucking shit, you need a glossary of spock-speak to understand what X business' employees mean when they say something as fkkkk simple as "tomorrow"??????????????????????????????????
In all of this I've emailed them at least twice asking if I have a fee owed to them.  They've yet to respond.  For all I know because of their dumb shit, I owe them $200 in no show and late cancellation fees.  I hope they're at least aware that I do not SHOW UP for a VIDEO CALL!  I either answer my phone or I ignore it, deliberately in some fashion or another.  If I put my phone's noises on silent, then I can't exactly expect to be able to answer a video call, then can I?  If I leave my phone upstairs, I can't exactly blame them for the fact that I left my phone laying somewhere now can I?  I understand checking in when I got to the dr  Doc or whoever comes out and says my name and they have no reason to assume out of the half dozen or more people in the waiting room might be me UNLESS I check in.  But when you email or text soembody, the person either answers or they don't.  I don't know why someone would schedule an appt with a dr and then blow the dr off.  I can understand not answering the phone -- forgetting where it is or absent mindedly silencing it -- but regardless of when or if you check-in, the chance of answering when the doc calls is still just as high unless the patient is just being stupid and refusing to answer no matter what.
idk..I'd like to think I'm limited in this understanding of things.  Maybe.  (sigh)

Yep.  Still not much to talk about here.  Got a usual blog entry written and I haven't written in almost two months. ugg.