My mother will always think her life is more valuable than mine. She will always despise and snoot over me because of the "murder" I "commit" and the arrogance (bullshittedly referred to as "pride" as if I have a damn thing to be P R O U D ***OF*****) I embody and my overactive impatience, and, above all else, the fact that I
treat her in accordance with and don't reward her for
her embodiment of those very same things.
When she commits theft and / or fraud, she wails in condemnation against NO ONE except the person who has enough backbone to TELL HER SHE'S WRONG. She accuses me of "You just like to argue" and then condemns people for stating any opinion that she didn't pre - approve, even when the opinion she's arguing with is very similar to one she not long ago pre approved.
I know I don't deserve to be treated as if justice is a concept that matters to anyone. Jesus endured THE MOST injustice and did not scold or condemn those who orchestrated and enacted it. I don't see myself in that. As an elder of the church once said, that should be a dead give away that Jesus does not know me and that I will be cast away from Him. I have no desire to "seek Him in His word". I have read The Bible. I've read many section of if various qtys of times. I don't LIKE reading. "Well, then do it even when you don't want to" WTF kind of bullshit? Who does something that they DONT' WANT to do???? Is God a kind and understanding father or is he "provoke children" to negativity like He commands His underlings NOT TO??
oBVIOUSLY all this thick smoke I'm choking on is me repeating what i sow. Beyond that, I don't feel as gung ho about committing to the notion that "I don't know Christ" as other people do.
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