Away

Aside from the fact that I'm physically out of sorts due to illness, and I can't have my cat with me whenever, I don't particularly mind not living somewhere not where I live presently.  What I do mind is that where I'm living now is a punishment for my wicked ways un repented.

I find it extremely disconcerting that I would get counseled by two people who know very little about me or what I have put up with most of my life, or maybe just don't care, either way, try and pummel me into "not arguing" my case, to "just accept" -- just accept what?  Injustice?  Those counseling meetings would have gone a lot quicker had I just had my grief and said nothing about it except "Yes, sir"  "Yes, mam" and "Hallelujah"

The anger I feel is not caused by pride.  A person can be just as arrogant as I am and not be burning with anger.  It is possible.  Circumstances cause anger.  The horrid ways people often / sometimes deal with it is caused by "what comes from within" (I guess there's no point in examining the odd nature of that particular phrase, especially since Jesus paid for our "decision" to manufacture evil...)
I do concur that I have not been as gentle and dismissive of my pain instead praising God for the opportunity to be blessed (whatever that entails, who knows?)
I have not BEEN molded into the image of Christ.  I don't know how to mold myself into the image of Christ.  I've read Ephesians and Phillipians etc.  I don't know what beyond that I'm supposed to do.  I do know that I've been molded as children are SUPPOSED TO BE molded BY MY MOTHER, who was nowhere near gentle, was not even loving or caring in her words toward me 70% of the time, or anyone else for that matter.  My sister accepted Christ at the age of 15 or thereabouts and so she's been molded closer to Christ's image than I am.  Even she hadn't taken much less than 10 years to fully shed the ways she'd learned prior to turning 15.  And she never adopted the ways of our mom because she was always too terrified from repeated traumas of the past to stand up for herself.  I didn't cower in the corner, so I'm the bad guy, she's the "sweet lady".  I guess that's why God says to bless those who persecute you and just don't bother putting up a fight.  You can't win.