Sister Christian

My sister is such a wreck; her low self-esteem etc. has driven her to near-suicide.  She is the kindest person I know, which amazes me b/c I am so not.  I am not one to volunteer my time in large qtys and I am quick to make certain I am exhonorated of any accusations that are flown my way.  Which makes me wonder; is my sister trying to work her low-self esteem away by being ultra-nice, or are do the two traits operate as two seperate entities, independant of one another?  I would ask her, but if she says the former, would I really be satisfied?  It's a horror to think that all good deeds stem from tragedy or the potential thereof, at least in my opinion.  Of course, I think it's a tragedy that mankind is wandering lost in this planet and, for the most part, will someday walk right into a bottomless bowl of pain and suffering that will never cease.  One of these horrors is undeniably true, as evidenced in The Holy Bible and the secular evidence that backs it up.  The other one might be, but I don't know; I ordered an NIV (Pew) Bible on Amazon a couple months back, but I've only read like 7 pages of Genesis and 6 pages of John.  Last night I read about 8 pages of Clive Barker's THE INHUMAN CONDITION, which is soooo not The Bible...I tried to make the situation more acceptable by putting on the GHOSTBUSTERS ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM, which is the soundtrack album to a movie that isn't entirely biblical either, but, IMO, captures the essence of the horror genre of fictional storytelling without getting downright heathenistic, although its references to Peagan religious icons etc. can certainly cause a few eyebrows to go up.  In the 1999 retrospective from the "Collector's Series" DVD, he says something about prophecies being fulfilled soon, but I don't know if he's talking about The Bible's prophecies or what, and if he is talking about biblical prophecies, I don't know if that necessarily makes him a Christian, but I don't even know if I technically classify as a Christian.  As far as I am consciously aware, I do not know God, I do not bow to him, I don't love him, I don't even know everything he most likely wants me to know b/c I do not invest hardly any time reading his word, and I certainly don't sin any less than I used to.  And I have not even been baptized, unless you count that time I was dunked in water at Cape Bible Chapel and then turned my back on The Holy Spirit and the accompanying scriptures.  So what does it matter if I read THE INHUMAN CONDITION or not?  And not only that, aside from Clive Barker's gutter-mind and homosexual lifestyle, I have no reason to believe that he's NOT a Christian.  I did read awhile back that he spent some#of years coming to terms with his sexuality, but that may have been b/c he was raised by Christians or otherwise homophobic people and he inherited that sense of disgust that a lot of st8ts have for gay people.
Anyway, I guess my point is I'm not very knowledgable about what vs. whatnot, and I've been unwisely doing (too) little to change that.
But...um...maybe I had something else to say and forgot what it was....maybe I'll post it tomorrow.
SNIPS:  My diet is not improving, at least not that I can tell, although I have been trying...if I hadn't eaten mediocre chocolate mousse yesterday, I **MIGHT** have been OK for that day, but whose to say my bananas that I ate today would not have disappeared early?  And I'm kinda flunking on my exercise routine-assembly.  I think I've gotten like 2? days of exercise this week, maybe tomorrow it'll go up to 3...My mom is hoping to be first in line, or somewhat close to the front of, to receive some much needed dental care from some gathering of dentistry for the orally hopeless who are hopelessly poor.  Here's hoping she can be home before (or no later than?!!) noon and stay awake until about 5pm and maybe wake up around 7 or 8 the next day...without being in agony of biblical proportions from stress via waiting and her complicatedly delicate body that can't conform to one physical position for too long without pain being caused and of course the dental work itself.....and whatever else might cause her pain as a result of the visit.....I have a suspicion it's gonna be a grueling and bumpy next few days...
I still haven't figured out what I **MIGHT** have forgotten to add to this post.  Whatever...

~JWC