the will to change

I keep telling myself I need to get my debt under control.  I owe WalMart or whoever (Synchrony Bank I think, something like that) $820.  SERIOULSY!!!  That amount alone is bigger than my monthly income.  I spent $65 at WalMart and WalMart.com this month.  I only paid down $55 of that.  So only $10 of that $820 is from THIS month.  Is that progress or just a mirage?
I did return several things I bought in June.  I don't know how much I spent that month.  Probably too much.  Anything more than a couple dollars is just TOO MUCH.  My minimum payment is $25.  I can't afford starting August to pay more than that.  I actually had to cut ties with Fingerhut.  I had scheduled payments set with them.  I told/asked them to cut that.  They supposedly did.  I should probably call them back to verify that.  If they did, I'll be hearing from a collection agency sometime.  If they can't accept $20 a month, then I'll just have to dodge them until they give up and transfer the account to another collection agency, which'll take a month or two...and then the process will start over, with me trying to reason with them and them trying to reason with me...

Seriously need to read (one of) my copy of The Bible.  Might as well stop writing...not sure if I have anything else to write about.  If I do, it'll get written eventually, I hope/maybe...