From one of the proverbs from The Bible (Proverbs)
The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom, And before honor comes humility.
Mark 9:35 (CSB)
Sitting down, he called the 12 and said to them "If anyone wants to be first, he must be last and servant of all"
The more I read The Bible, the more and more correlation I see to the Old Testament and the New Testament. That Proverb I'd read before, but I don't think I ever sat down and really pondered anything about it. In that respect, it's easier to digest information from the other segments ("books") of The Bible without spending 15 minutes or however long it takes that you're willing to invest asking The Holy Spirit to reveal what ever it may be that He wants you to know after each sentence or X# of sentences (probably depending on the specific passage at hand). I must admit I have a serious humility deficiency (y'all didn't know that, did you?) and I tend to place way too much dependence on symmetry ; not in the respect that I "give my life" to movies (which I don't believe I really do, although in some sense perhaps that could be said....idk) because of their symmetrical imagery
but symmetry as in the amount of time it takes for () to happen *should! not be added to.
For instance -- the internet; URL takes more than 1.5 seconds or something like that to load, I get pissed. Not because of that individual time adjustment, but because each URL is a preface to another URL. When I'm waiting for a page to load, 75% of the time I am not attempting to visit that URL. That URL is a gateway to another URL. FOR INSTANCE -- for signing in to Amazon.com URL#1. Loading. Finished. Enter username. URL#2. password. URL3. Home page. URL4. PRoduct search. URL5 Is this the product I'm looking for? URL6 Continue searching. URL 7 another candidate. URL 8. search cont'd and it can go on like that for maybe 25 URLs. Something that should have taken maybe 10 minutes most of which consists of careful reading and scrolling ends up taking closer to 20. And that's just ONE thing I might consider doing on Amazon.com. Forget trying to visit another website and doing anything there. That's another 10 minutes assuming it's a quick visit just checking my bank statement or whatever. Granted, I am able and free in this moment to spend however much time I want on the internet, but I HATE waiting. If I had to consistently wait half an hour for an activity to finish, I could go do something else. Drink a cup of coffee. Mow the lawn. Scoop the dogcrap off the front lawn. Listen to music. Pet my cat. Scoop my cat's litter box. Give my cat a refill on her food. Look at my toy collection. Watch a movie. I don't mind doing any of those things, except maybe mowing the lawn, but just doing routine stuff on the internet gets to be a pain in the AAZZ when it takes 3+x longer for a URL just to load. I should be grateful to be able to do ANYTHING on the internet since the alternative is to do whatever I get from the internet minus the internet. Which in reality is not that much. I can listen to music on CD. I can shop when I get out to shop. I can just as easily NOT shop because I don't need diddly squat. The only thing I CAN'T do is publish my thoughts and musings like it's the NYT.
AAAnyway. I'm also like that with words. Words that are not synced up with each other correctly tick me off. My mom has brain fog from her massive styrm of pain in her shell and COPD which causes 1/5 of the words she intends to put forth to come out as kind of a whisper, sometimes an EXTREMELY quiet whisper, like the kind you have to know how to read lips to hear...so she may have said "I want some water", but I just hear "I want some" and then I'm wondering where the rest of the sentence went. I'll be standing nearby, like "?" She'll often lift her water jug at me so it's not even always necessary that she end such a sentence. Sometimes it's almost like I imagine her saying the last word of that sentence because it's so quiet it's like hearing carpet fibers move at the behest of an ant. Like "woah, that was some tricked out pudding Mom."
Anyway. And then when people use words like people wear jewelry that pisses me off too. It took me the longest time to figure out the logic of saying Amen anytime God's name comes up. Amen is not even an English word. It means "so be it" from what I can tell. I'm not entirely sure that's true, because several people have said "Holy" = "set apart", which is like substituting the definition for a foot note. Yes, God is different than we are. He always has been and always will be. When modern English Bibles say that He calls us to be a Holy people, yes, that means we should set ourselves apart from the calamity and filth of the regular everyday world. When God talks of Himself being Holy, what He's saying is He's majestic in his power. He's not only the very intention of Good, He's also powerful enough to Love us infinitely more than we can even fathom and also capable of putting our lives where He wants them to be, because He's omniscient and omnipresent. Our fruit bearing doesn't get less than A on the basis of our lack of omniscience. If you get a report card from God with a B-, your lack of omniscience DOES NOT FACTOR into that. Also pissed me off the other day when I asked my sister what Psalm 139 is referring to as "dark" and she said he means physical darkness. I asked another question to clarify and her response was "it's called poetic license", which did not clarify a damn thing. I'm not sure if she thought she was being helpful in some way or what. I don't see how that's possible. I guess everyone that night thought they were being helpful with the odds against them. My mom ever so kindly suggested that I "think of someone other than yourself", which is NOT offensive, because I never think about other people, ever. To me, reality is just me. That needs to change. SARCASM-----
The reality is none of this should be a big deal to me. I am not here for other people to give a damn about me or to give thanks to anyone. I am here because God wants me here. I either have much work to do for other people that God wants me to carry out, or I am offense to Him in my current state and I need to invest time and energy into communing with God and doing what little I can to step toward the threshold of a New Life.
I don't even know what I was initially going to write about, so if this seems abrupt or unfinished, maybe it is.
towdels.
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