Deed End

God resists the proud.

I am insanely arrogant.  I don't know if I'll ever be humble.  I think I have faced such stagnation in my spiritual growth -- and hence doubt and fear etc -- because of that.  Regardless, God has not abandoned me.  I have made progress as slow going as it is.  I think God is making a grand statement here.

God hardens who He wants to.

I think God has hardened me in response to my pride and other detestable behavior.  I need to keep seeking God's counsel.  I need to increase my worship to Him.

I don't believe anyone is beyond saving.  I do think continual sin makes it less likely that salvation will arrive.  I could be mistaken about that.  But at the moment it seems like a solid enough theory.

Jesus did day He will return and that upon His arrival the world will be judged according to its deeds. He also says that Sodom will be judged less harshly than the unbelieving Jews.  I don't think our good conduct is forgotten by Him.  My bad conduct far outweighs my good conduct but I have made an attempt throughout my life to do what is right even though I also do what is wrong and I also don't do enough of what is right.  I think maybe my silver lining of goodness is what at least partly compels God to not completely forsake me.  Like I said, maybe I'm totally mistaken.