Limitations -- unlimited

"nothing is too hard for God"
The heck?  God has more power than any existent thing, but he is not unlimited in his power.  He is FAR exceeding in power than any mere mortal.  But if he is limited in his power, then why is the arrival of Jesus not equal to universal salvation for EVERYBODY?  New Testament speaks of "a sin that leads to death".  Yet people exclaim with such certainty "YOUR salvation is secure!"  If that's not just a bunch of b.s., then how does ANY sin lead to death?  How do our actions account for anything in our eternal destiny?  People make it sound like Jesus' sacrifice changed God's agenda.  BULLSHIT!  God is the same as he was at the beginning as he is today and will always be what he is and has always been.  THE BIBLE actaully SAYS that.  So how is it relevant that some people have salvation locked by the power of Heaven because of ancestral promise or some grand scheme that God knows far more about than any of us can even speculate without sounding pathetic?  God has the final say in our Salvation.  The fact that he is Just and Kind and doesn't nitpick about what we did right or how right we were in doing it is God's.  We don't own it and can't "claim" it.  We can claim the Crown of Victory after this whole battlefield is behind us, but WE ARE NOT done with our striving.  The Bible speaks of "completion" of salvation.  How is salvation not complete before we're born?  Because OUR SALVATION IS NOT SECURE!  We do not automatically gain entrance to Heaven because God loves Jacob and hates Esau.  Jacob was given a leg up in his salvation.  That wasn't because he deserved it, or because God had a "good feeling" about him, it was because of the promise He made to Abraham.  Esau had to work harder to obtain salvation and The Bible seems to indicate that he failed.  God knows who will be carried away by the direction of The Prince of The Wind because he knows everything.  Does that mean he's psychic?  Maybe.  Or maybe it simply means that the future is limited in its outcomes and God was not willing to do for Essau what He did for Jacob.  Jacob had a disposition that enabled him to receive God's Presence rightfully and Essau did not.  Essau was arrogant in his heart, flippant in his actions, and there's just no way you can receive God rightfully with so much of that going on.  I think The Holy Spirit will ultimately be the victor of my Salvation if I keep my eyes on Him.  He has given me a keen insight into scripture and all I need to do is be mindful of it.  Sounds easy right?  (scoff).

AAnyway.  I'm in a pissy mood.  Obviously.  I got a big ol' sermon about The Security of my salvation, and then the same pastor made a sermon of the exact opposite nature about a month later.  And I can understand that God is not only WORTHY of being praised, but that we are designed to praise God.  We as a biological species do the exact opposite.  We as New Creations are not yet finished in our Creation.  "What we will be has not yet been made known"  The New Creation, as one of the epistles puts it, is just a cacoon that will break apart.  The fabric of that cacoon is Jesus. 

There's a book I probably need to read about "predestination" by a well regarded pastor.  I seriously need to read God's word more regularly and engage with His presence and also need to probably read that book too, in between scripture breaks.

Luckwarm

Some Christians have a negative attitude about the word "luck".  God is sovereign but he does not control every single thing that happens.  My dad taught me not to smoke by insisting that I take a puff of a cigarette and asking what I thought of it.  Is that God's favor is that luck?  Mankind make poor decisions on a constant basis, not realizing when they've made good decisions necessarily.  Sometimes God may be at work within those decisions, but who can say?  If someone wins the lottery, that's not necessarily good luck.  That could be God's favor resting on them.  But if they plow through the money in pursuit of selfishness God's favor could turn away from them and cause the kind of catastrophic situations that many Grand Prize winners face after winning the lottery.  Is that bad luck?  No.  It's a consequence of one's bad decisions.  The thing is people's decisions effect other people.  God doesn't withold what we need.  But luck is not simply having what you need.  Nobody needs anything.  The Book of Job recounts what many would refer to as a devastating series of tragedy that came upon Job.  But he still had everything he needed.  We don't need to be happy.  We don't need to be healthy.  We dont even need to exist.  Many people exist in perpetual torment in the depths of Hell.  Heaven is far more than anyone can ask for.  God is sufficient in this world of our own self depreciating muck.  Maybe God does ensure that wreckless decisions benefit those most rightfully able to receive the consequences thereof, but in a quarter mile radius, if you throw a rock and it hits someone in the head, the odds of it hitting someone who God's favor rests on is kind of slim.

Wednesday the 25th & more

Finally coming off my Christmas gift buzz.  I had apprx $15 in gift cards from Swagbucks before Christmas and then my mom added $30 to that, so I was well padded for about a week and then some.
I still got a good chunk of that.  It's just not as "wow"ing as it was.  Kinda at a loss as to what to spend it on.  I'll find something for sure.  If nothing else, hopefully Hasbro's GHOSTBUSTERS license will show itself in a couple months or less.  Ultimately I'd prefer to buy that schiz at Toys 'R' Us, but TRU went bankrupt (aaag!) and they probably won't have one all that close to this part of "The Atlanta Area" (an absurd nickname for this part of Gwinnett County considering we're equally close to Athens, GA as we are to Atlanta, GA; although;;----w) We are moving to somewhere else which --I think-- is not in Gwinnett County.  I COULD be wrong.............but I still don't think TRU is gonna come to that part either.  At best, they'll have one located in the Mall of Georgia by summertime, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that.  I'm super super hoping some really real REAL GHOSTBUSTERS, THE (  heh ) (Kenner style, ppl!) action figure toys come upon us sometime this year.  Deep Discount leaked some preorder listings (now deleted), which give some indication that there will be some harkening back to the glory dayz of GHOSTBUSTing ('84-'91)

aaaanyway.  Even if the toys suck, someone will probably come out with some coolness.  I REALLY would ultimately prefer --- as an alternative to TRU - - to buy them at Target.  I order stuff of utility off Amazon UNLESS I CAN'T buy it anywhere else.  Mail order is great for stuff you really can get some use out of.  Action figures are gifts from the toy makers.  The money we get and the lack of lightning struck upon those that invest in such nonesense is a gift from The Heavenly Father, God Almighty.  I REALLY WANT SOME GHOSTBUSTERS KENNERSSS......

Ok.  Enough of that.
But seriously --- buying GB toys off Amazon is like somebody buying you cake mix for your birthday.  RRR!  C'mon TARGET ----- if nobody else is interested AT LEAST TAKE PITY ON MEEEEE!!!!!  GOFUNDMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  Harharhar.....anyway

um....

So.......
yeah.  I have like $30 in gift cards.  CRImany!

(pheeeee) I'm thinking. 

Eh.  idk.
Got free Spotify until at least late February i Think.  Need to check and see when that rebills. 
My sister's got like people lined up at the door to look at the house that needs to sell before she & her husband can put an offer on another house.  It looks like things are going good in the time dept.  My sister wants to move before she's late into her pregnancy.  It'll either be now/soon or like mid next year unless they insist on moving come hell or high water.  I don't know if that's the plan...

Hm.
house showing coming up somewhat soon.  I need to get going.  I'm sure I have more to say.   can't think of it right now and i"m holding in #1 so I gottttta go  xx

He's as high as a kite!!~

Super stimulated as of late.  I feel nerved to the outer extremities with finger tapping pulse pounding EXCITEMENT!  I don't even know why half the time.  It's gotta be the increase in Cymbalta my psychiatrist recommended.  I'm feeling a lot more optimistic overall, although still plauged with paranoia and feelings of sadness and/or melencholi (sp????rrrrrr)

January 7th  -- Day one of good news to be
JOKER comes out on DVD and Blu ray and can be rented from Redbox.  I'm assuming it'll also then be available for rent at Amazon etc.

January 28th -- TERMINATOR: DARK FATE (the "other" Terminator 3) comes to video!!!!!!!!

February 2020 CLOCKERS makes it's "took you long enough" debut on Blu ray.  One of my favorite movies.  Stylistically it reminds me of BRINGING OUT THE DEAD.  Martin Scorsese was tapped to direct CLOCKERS and he did produce it, but I don't know how those two movies so manage to pull me in and throw me around for a whirl.  I guess CLOCKERS connects with me personally because I grew up with gang violence being a very pervasive presence nearby where I lived in central California, in Monteray County.  Seaside, CA was the worst.  It was kind of an issue in Salinas as well.  Seaside waso bad in the '80s that my mom did everything she could to get my father to pack up and move us somewhere else.  It got a lot better after someone having a picnic ended up getting shot by a stray bullet in a gun fight.  It still wasn't exactly a safe place to live per se when I'd left there for Missouri at age 13, in the summer of 1997.

As for BRINGING OUT THE DEAD, I guess I relate to it because it's basically about a guy who has a hard time adjusting to his change of circumstance.  He starts out as a medic, thinking he can help those in need and he succeeds well, but ends up in a dry season, where his ability as a medic isn't put on display for anyone to see.  His patients either die on the way to the hospital or before he can assess their situation well enough to help them.  I was like that in some way back when I was a little child.  I had a "psychotic breakdown" when I was about 8 years old and most people would ask what happened to cause it and I simply can't explain it.  The number of negative life changes occurring just was too much for me to take at that time.  My father leaving, the change in address, the dog having to be re-homed, everything, it just got to be too much and even though I'd been medicated for a couple years at that point, I wasn't able to be treated with regular parenting.  I ended up staying 2 months in a psychiatric ward and another couple years in a temporary living situation.  My mom says the temporary living situation should have been much more temporary (less than a year) but the doctors were not medicating me effectively and the staff were only concerned with pissing me off because they were told by someone high up that it would be good for me and my anger issues  I did eventually get a sort of talking to about how to better handle being picked on etc., but that was a long time coming.  Nobody ever went over that stuff with me.  They just tormented me and watched me suffer in glad joy and I just kept suffering and wishing they would pity me instead of prey on me.  I had the same kind of reaction to the radical change in family dynamics that occurred in the early '00s.  I was an atheist who eventually became a believer who didn't believe because it was too horrifying to be true.  I eventually after a decade of raising my fist at God, figuratively speaking, came to the conclusion that A) this circling around of hate and justification of disbelief was not healthy and was not going to end and B) If The Bible is true, I have no way of ceasing such fact from existing.  And after a little bit of a rocky start, still a little bumpy, I feel much more relaxed and at peace with myself and God.  I know that He is love and the only reason so few people will see Heaven and Eternal Life is because mankind is so against His love.  You see it in people's raising of their children.  So many people are sparing the rod and spoiling their children.  One of the proverbs goes so far as to say something to the effect of a child without a good ass whooping is better off dead.
  FOUND IT--Proverbs 13:24


JULY 10 2020
GHOSTBUSTERS AFTERLIFE!!!!!!
JUN - AUG 2020 ----- GHOSTBUSTERS TOYS!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD still not scheduled for release on Bluray as far as I know.
THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS toys from Kenner might be gettting reproduced for TO-DAY but I haven't heard any official confirmation.  Some listings popped up at DeepDiscount.com including something that sounds very similar to an unproduced concept that had been in the pipeline but never got put into action until it was too late.  A prototype was made up but Kenner bigwhigs had already decided to pull the plug on the RGB toy line.  There weren't any details on the listings that DeepDiscount had up.  They were taken down a few days later.  GhostbustersNews.com had a post on their site and at Twitter about it, but that got removed as well.  I asked Jason at GBNewsdotcom why he deleted the post and I GUESS it must be kind of a mib hush hush thing.  Like "NEVERMIND ---- You didn't see what you're claiming I posted on my website.  IT - NEVER - HAPPENED!"

tHE RELEASE date DeepDiscount had posted was August.  I don't know if they'rell be any other Hasbro delicacies popping up before then or not.  There were a couple that were supposed to come in May actually, if I recall correctly.

The rest of 2020 is devoted to GB toys.

I have a preorder at Bullmoose.com in place for GHOSTBUSTERS LEGACY: THE MAKING OF GHOSTBUSTERS I & II by Matt McAlister (who I have no knowledge regarding, I'm just assuming he was hired for a valid reason).  Books is supposed to ship June 2nd of 2020.  So there's that.
Man.  2020 is full of great things.
Even if Jesus shows up before it happens, I can at least say I had something to be excited about.  I kinda doubt he'll show up out of the blue like that.  Revelation details this fairly well.  I don't know for a fact that it's all in chronological order.  There's a section that talks about something like a book with seven seals or something like that.  Jesus riding in on a cloud is supposed to be toward the end of the 7 seals, but why each seal is numbered the way it is is not known and maybe God had in mind for that to be the chronological order but there's no promise or statement of such being so.  It's possible that God may delay Jesus' coming way longer.  I don't think mankind has stooped any lower than it's previously been known to.  I think maybe the surge in persecution of Christians overall throughout the world might be an indication of The Signs that Jesus talks about.  I think it'll probably get so bad that even in the U.S., things will become much worse than they presently are.  And I don't think the time is that far off.  People who have had the Gospel given to them as young children are much weaker in their ability to abide in the Holy Spirit than they were 50 years ago.  With all the drug culture and rampant pornography being thrown about throughtout the 70's and 80's, many people after leaving home were seduced and slowly, but quicker than they perhaps thought they would have, fell away.  Some of them came back, but crawling back to God is sometimes harder than it should be.  I'm still finding it difficult after 5 years in church to shave off my old nature and put on the full armor of God.
I'm fine with God returning whenever he wishes to.  I know i can't demand to live long enough to see a movie that might not even be all that great in theaters and/or on video.  I mean, really --- despite the anticipation and the very real possibility that GB:AFterlife will indeed be a jolly good time of a movie, it still could A) suck balls B) end up kinda "meh" or C) end up 2 or 3 serious notches below the bar set by Ghostbusters II which was not that high to begin with.  Then of course there's D) which is it could trump the original.  Fat chance.  Most likely it'll be at least as good as Ghostbusters II although it obviously will be a very different movie.  It takes place in a rural setting whereas GBII was all about the bright lights and big citiness of NYC circa 1988/1989.  Also of note: If God permits his citizens to watch movies --- or if some of His citizens insist on watching cinema --- ------- GB: Afterlife can "live on" in Heaven, with the most creative person you'll ever meet at the helm.  When God says cut, the Angels better do it right!

Ghostbusters 35th anniversary steelbook

Originally a 5 disc set, I only have need for 3 of the discs.  I have the other 2 discs w/ the steelbook offered for sale @ Amazon, seller name being realgobutter

My sister gave it to me for my 36th birthday.  I haven't used it much, just more of an idea type thing, like "Why don't I own this?!", like the kind of thing that just makes perfect sense for me to own, even though an argument can be made to the contrary as well.

My mom gave me some good quality housepants so that my regular pants will hopefully live longer.  They're nice pants, so there's no need to wear them when I have nowhere I'm planning on going, which is most of the time.

My gramma got me a $20 bill and a card.  Was nice because I otherwise would have had no money to give to the church.  Not exactly an act that reeks of my esteem, but I know that's not the point anyway.  The humble will be exalted and the reverse being true as well.  I'm a litttle humble, a lot less so than I'd like.

Anyway.
Got my meager list of Christmas gift recipients checked off almost a month ago.  I still need to package them (basically).  Wasn't a whole lot of thought put into it.  Just needed to set aside the funds to do it.

My mom and my sister are heading out Wednesday to visit my gramma and some of her family -- two sons and a granddaughter from her biological daughter, who is now deceased, r.i.p.  There might be other people there, hard to say.  Obviously, my grandmothers' family is much larger than those 3 people, but they are usually present whereas the rest of her family is a bit futher away.

I kind of feel bad about not going, but I really don't know how much pet sitting would cost.  It seems like it'd be AT LEAST $150.  If I could rely on it being so little, I might just go with, depending on what my sister thinks of her & her husband's finances, but I'm thinking a good round of pet sitting would cost around $200 at least.  My cat would probably be OK with me being gone 4-5 days.  She really doesn't need anyone for anything, although she really likes companionship.  She can survive on a little food put in her bowl each day, roughly 1/2 a cup.  I usually put it in there twice.  My sister's dog is the real question mark.  He's so wishy washy about his business.  He'd probably be OK too, just getting out to go potty 3 or 4 times a day.  I don't know if the house would survive on just 3 outside trips.  Soemone would probably need to leave him outside and be mindful enough of the effects of weather on him, to let him back in when it gets too cold.
Anyway.
hmm...not sure what else there is to talk about.
.
....

Aw, quac, Batman!

MAN OF STEEL was a great film very much in the vein of THE DARK KNIGHT TRILOGY.  I don't understand how the science of MOS is flawed by any means.  Maybe it is.  But TDK trilogy is not any more realistic than MAN OF STEEL, keeping in mind that scientifically flawed is not the same thing as unbelievable.  Scientists say there is no God simply because they haven't proven the existence of an invisible all powerful entity of any kind.  Gee, go figure.  Science, on the other hand, has never proven the non existence of an invisible all powerful entity, which is something scientists don't seem to understand.  Nothing in The Bible has been scientifically disproven.  The suppositions of scientists are un-Biblical and therefore they've come up with alternate theories and "Facts" to counter what The Bible says.  So when someone says Man of Steel is scientifically flawed, I don't even know who to believe.  I hard one guy say that 2001: A SPACE ODDYSEY should have been more thoroughly researched because space ships are a lot smaller than they are on 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY.  Yes, it was optimistic of the filmmakers to assume we'd be travelling to deep space by 2001 or any point close to that, but given the optimism about getting to Mars, only 20 years after 2001 was supposed to have taken place, how far fetched is it to further believe that in another 20 years we'll have space ships with enough room for people to build buffet dining areas and good size rooms for folks to roam around?  2001 was a place holder title.  It wasn't meant to be a prophecy.  It wasn't a Nostrademeous (sp??) calculation of the future.  It was a warning about the dangers of mankind's reliance on technology.  Not only did the A.I. machine overtake the spaceship, but it had developed a more authentic humanity than the people in the movie.  At least that's what some people say.  Acting was so wooden in the '50's and '60's, I have a hard time discerning what the portrayal of the people in the movie was supposed be to perceived as.
But anyway.  MAN OF STEEL was obviously meant to kick off a new era of SUPERMAN movies.  So it's really annoying to see them immediately follow it up with that stupider than stupid DAWN OF JUSTICE film.  Not only did they disregard the DARK KNIGHT trilogy as cannon with the MAN OF STEEL film, they portrayed Batman as a worthless soul full of murderous hate with no redeeming qualities about him.  And then they haphazardly introduce Wonder Woman toward the end just appearing out of nowhere.  I didn't make it that far into the movie.  I just thought the whole thing was beyond stupid.  The reasoning behind severing the movie from TDK was ludacrous.  Superman is an alien.  Given that, there's nothing fantastical about his portrayal in MAN OF STEEL.  The only thing potentially fantastical about the movie is that he is an alien.  Don't believe in aliens?  Can't fathom the cocnept?  Fine.  Don't watch MAN OF STEEL *or* DAWN OF JUSTICE.  Most people can at least entertain the notion of aliens.  At least I would hope so.  Maybe most people don't BELIEVE in aliens, but the possibility of aliens is just as real as the possibility of God as depicted in The Bible, who many say negates the possibility that aliens exist........total b.s. btw.  The Bible doesn't mention aliens, but science doesn't mention God.  Is science unreliable because people misinterpret the data at hand or expect the data to reveal more than God intended it to reveal?  If so, you may as well regard mankind's mission to the moon as voodo.  I don't get how one can disregard science.  Science as a culture is unGodly, in large part.  But science as a means of fact finding is not wrong.  Science is really just another word for reason.  You can assume a bunch of stuff that is contradictory or you can examine things carefully and come up with conclusions based on the observations at hand.  Things like the existence of God or the reality of JFK's assasination are not scientifically proven or disproven.  They're just facts that you can argue with or accept.
And then of course they follow MAN OF STEEL up with JUSTICE LEAGUE.  They assume it was the grim tone of MAN OF STEEL that drove people away from it.  So they turn JUSTICE LEAGUE into a multi-verse equivlanet of BATMAN FOREVER (1995).  And surprise surprise the movie also performs poorly at the box office.  Gee, how about quitting while you're ahead?  Warner Bros/DC. rushed into the DCEU as if it was do or die because Marvel studios was taking all kinds of love from the audience.  Warner Bros. makes actual movies.  THE DEPARTED didn't gross $500 million worldwide did it?  No.  It was a reasonably budgeted movie and it was of good quality and it made a decent return on investment.  Why the heck does WB/DC care if their supehero movies are not as well liked as Marvel's?  Martin Scorsese I highly doubt will be seen making an entry into the DCEU or the MCU but you don't see him pining for all the Marvel lovers.

the speed of sleep

PEople always use the example of babies crying to alert their parents to the fact that they need food as an example of people's inherent selfishness, which is equated with sin.
First of all, being selfish is not a sin.
Secondly, babies don't have the mental capacity to understand what greed is and their attention span is too limited to retain that information if they could understand it.

Children don't take very long to embody traits that are man's downfall.  My 3 year old nephew leans on his own understanding far too often and as a result violates the commandment to honor his parents.  However, this 3y/o nephew doesn't understand how to avoid playing too rough with his 1.5 y/o brother to keep from killing him or seriously injuring him.  He also does not know how to read.  His comprehension skills have dramatically improved over the past year and I'm told he has comparatively very high intelligence.

The so-called Age of accountability is not a concrete thing.  People's 1st sin is always idolatry.  If you're not trying to avoid disobeying God it's because you're too focused on other things.  There will be a time when Joseph has enough understanding to avoid breaking any of the 10 Commandments but will he be aware enough of his Creator to do so?  Will he revere his Creator enough and appreciate Him enough to do so?

At 3, my nephew is fast approaching the age of accountability, I do think.  Is he there yet though?  I don't think so.

///

I was thinking about my sister's complaint about a chronological Bible that she was having negative feelings toward because, for example, it covers "the triumphant entry" four times in a row.  It's covered in all of the four Gospel accounts, so instead of chronicling it and moving on, it covers the triumphant entry and then covers it again.  The point is to include every last "letter" of God's Word without exception.  That's stupid.  The Bible is chronicled the way it is because God wanted it that way.  It makes sense as it is.  It covers everything you need to know in the order you need to know it.
If you want a timeline of The Bible's events, there's a way to offer that without re-arranging the chapters of The Bible.  The Bible is not written as a timeline.  It's written as nourishment for the soul.  God is not limited by time and space.  We need to look toward Heaven if we want to get there.  Looking at old bones is not going to accomplish anything.

the loss of sin

God forgives a lot.  A disintction is made in The Bible about the love one has toward God based on what (s)he's been forgiven for.  I feel like my effectiveness as a desciple of Christ is rather minimal, partly because of two things:
1) Just about everyone I come across already goes to church;  I don't know how to convince the ones that don't into going
2) (mainly because of point1), I'm privileged enough to know how to live in a civil and civilized manner and have not engaged in murder or anything that would contribute to the murder of anyone (I think).

I am very blessed to have inherited citizenship from a country founded by Christ-minded individuals, as flawed as they were.  The downside of that is I don't know how to make disciples as Jesus commanded.  It probably also hinders me that my mind tends to work harder than my eyes.  I'm constantly looking inward and beyond rather than at the surroundings and often when I try to think of solutions to basic fundamental life situations I come up empty.  I can't imagine what I would do if I saw someone who others might say "This person needs help".  I don't know if I've ever seen one such person and didn't look closely enough or not.

I am guilty of sin.  Don't think living in mainstream USA makes anyone able to walk away from God.  Mankind isn't meant to be Godless.  Even if we weren't sinful, we would need God.  We were not created to be independent.  Nobody IS independent.  Nobody is obligated to have a job position open.  Job positions do open up and if you apply for it, you are not promised acceptance.  Your skillset and your ability to convey what your skillset is and how greatly endowed with it you are can always be outdone by someone.  Even if you're the best of the best, your skillset and quality thereof is not your own making.  God can build you up just as easily as he will eventually destroy this dark world.  He builds up many people, even those who spend their whole life in denial of His existence.

I don't claim to understand how or why God chooses what He does or how some people are Chosen and others aren't and what the fate of the everyday person is.  I don't know for an absolute fact that making desciples is the ONLY way to invite others to God's Kingdom.  As mysterious as God is to Christians, would it not be possible for someone to know God enough apart from Christ?  Surely Adam and Eve knew God.  Noah knew God and Moses did as well.  Many people of the 12 tribes of Israel knew God.  I only know that their knowledge of God existed because The Bible makes note of it.  I have no idea what the villagers of Africa and modern day Asia were doing.  I doubt it was much different than the fruitless superstitions of the nations that surrounded Israel for the most part.
The sad thing is many who know God still don't have any intention of honoring God.  This is documented heavily in the entries of The Bible that are placed after, mainly 1st and 2nd Samuel, Kings and Chronicles.  Kings and Chronicles begin so happily almost like a fairy tale then things get so grim you almost can't stand it.  I think that's partly why Chronicles 1 & 2 are included in The Bible despite the bulk of it being recounting the bulk of Kings 1 & 2.  It is helpful to be reminded of how good things used to be or could be even if this situation at hand is far from good.

I'm not exactly sure where I was leading to with all this or if I was leading to something.  It seems like I had a topic sentence in mind but now I"m kind of confused as to what it was or why.  I guess I'll leave it here.
  [insert a head smack for having gone so long w/o posting as my way of presenting a sincere apology....not really, I'm actually typing this.  A pause for a head smack was not made  --- do I seem less sincere?  Sure.  After all, God is faithful to the end inasmuch as there ever is an end.  I am not God.........]\

some serious sheet THE BIG MOVIES list

1. Arrival (2016)
2. Back To The Future (1985)
3. Basket Case (1982)
4. Being There
5. Bringing Out The Dead
6. Candyman (1992)
7. Clockers
8. The Dark Knight Trilogy (2005-2012)
9. E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
10. Forrest Gump
11. Ghostbusters (1984) & Ghostbusters II
12. The Green Mile
13. Heathers (1989)
14. Hellraiser & Hellbound: Hellraiser II
15. The Last Unicorn
16. My Girl (1991)
17. nowhere (1997)
18. Ordinary People
19. Short Circuit
20. Starman (1984)
21. Taxi Driver (1976)
22. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
23. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

deeper still

I've been wondering lately if I'm on the path to salvation or if I'm actually saved.  People insist you can't lose your salvation, but there's actually parts in The New Testament that talk about salvation as if it were a process.  One little segment, maybe in Hebrews (the book I've been reading lately), says something like urging the folks to finish their salvation or something like that, idk.....need to write these things down when they occur....rrg.  And Jesus says you will be recognized as a desciple if you heal the sick and cast out demons and all this supernatural stuff that you never see happening in this day & age.  Maybe that's because people pray for healing in private and the demons are either stunted by the boldness of Christians or uninterested in the ones who've already fallen away or never were "in" to begin with.  I think Jesus also included prophesying in that, but I'm not 100%...that word could I suppose mean simply being able to decipher truths that other people refuse to or simply cannot understand....idk.  I think prophesying I think seeing visions and all that kind of stuff....I guess that's Old School Propheteering.  Which makes sense since God never wanted to point everybody to His people, but rather he wanted His people to point to Himself.

And I swear my neck has gained two pounds alone this past week.  I swear I saw it jiggle like early this morning or last night, sometime around there...I shaved yesterday. A couple weeks ago I got some decent razors.  I'd been using these like 30 ct doitonce razors that cost like $5 or less a pkg.  I got a reusable handle and 6 blade-cartridges for like $20(ayg!).  I don't know if it was "worth" it, supposing I were the one paying for it with my own money, but it's definitely a nice thing to have.  I seriously could not live in Georgia if I were living by myself.  I don't think there's anywhere that costs less than $500 a month...there might be a studio apartment in some tiny town further out closer to Cobb County like in Acworth or something that might cost like $350 or $400....I don't think there's any reason to expect to find somehting like that though.  Housing in that price range probably gets snatched up as soon as its listed.  And then I would need to pay probably $150/mo for something like Uber.  No matter what need there is of it, I don't think an ability to get everything I need in one shopping trip is going to manifest itself in my living.  That's at least $40 just for one grocery shopping trip (ALDI) and then a return to (stuff I forgot).  Then if I need to do anything else, I either need to pay extra to do it online ($25?) or pay $25++ to go to WalMart or wherever it is I need to go ...if I needed to go to church (which I do) then I'd need to at least set aside $20 in case I can't get a ride to and/or from.  Usually I can't get a ride to.  But I can get a ride back home pretty easily.  Idk..   Might not need $150.  Could probably do fine on $100 or less maybe.  It really depends on the time of day, I would think....I don't have the Uber app, so I don't know for sure.  I've had it on my phone before, I've used it a couple times but I haven't ever routinely used it at any point ever.  

Not even sure why I'm talking about this,  Ithink I had a thought based on something I wrote or was about to write, but it probably would've made more sense to express what that thought was before totally changing the subject all crazy like.

OH....that's right.  I was talking bou the razors.  Yeah.  My sister charges rock bottom rent for me to live in the not quite as nice level of the house.  I don't mind it being not as nice.  I'm not complaining.  I used to live in a rathole of my own making and didn't mind because I was in tune with whatever music or movie I was engaged with at any given time.  I wasn't spending any significant amount of time standing around looking at how clean (or unclean) my room/apartment is.  That's probably something I could have done if I had cleaned it more, it would have given me more opportunities to relax and kick back........enjoy life more...idk.

So anyway.  my face is more shaved than it's ever been, even though there's still some fuzz on my face and a couple tiny spots I missed.  The crazy thing really is how few cuts I've gotten.  I've bled a few tiny spots, maybe 5 or 6, mostly in groups of 2, and they didn't hurt of course and they dried up in no time.  Swizzy!

Back to my original topic, I Just feel like often I lack something. It could be worse, I guess.  I don't know if I feel as shallow as I did a few years ago.  I guess I'm just greedy sometimes.  I mainly just worry that I'm slipping away too often.  I keep indulging my eyeballs and watching stuff that I shouldn't watch (lest thee haf a namest!) and I don't know why but it seems to be the culprit, if Biblical teachings are any indication.  I guess I should quit asking why.  It seems absurd.  What's absurd really is the fact that I'm not married.  I'm not married because I'm impatient and I eat way too damn much.  I get impatient with weight loss.  I get impatient with cravings for food.  I get impatient with finances.  What I need to do is read The Bible, take a break AS NEEDED (not as I please) and then read The Bible some more.  That sounds incredibly narrow.  What's this about a Narrow Gate?  Oh........