Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3uHHTZLBVWAEvmrMhvC8hh?si=hzOUAt0gSme8oHmy52uR_A&pi=OcSih7y2RnGTu

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Evangelical scientists

I don't know what a non evangelical Christian is except maybe an imitation of the real thing.
"Go and make disciples of all nations"  You either can't do what He's commanded or you're outright refusing.  Your God is not Jesus if you'r refusing.  There's no excuse for not proclaiming your Faith except a complete lack of appreciation for what you "have faith" IN.  "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that any one who believes in Him shall have eternal life"  If you believe in some guy named Jesus who condones inserting man made ideology with Jesus' teachings, I'd say you have the wrong guy.  "Seek and ye shall find"  If you harbor false teachings about Jesus, you can get rid of them by reading The Bible and carefully considering each and every sentence.  "Whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble would be better off with a slow and painful death"  The greatest atrocities in Gods' eyes are not easy to overcome.  Seek and you shall find.

Would it really be so awful if scientists at least conceded to the possibility of God?
I mean, seriously -- WHAT is at stake if people believe God's word in its entirety exactly as its written?  Is anyone honestly fearful of The Spanish Inquisition Pt. II?  Christian leaders have been known to make some really f--'d up statements, like proclaiming that homosexuals should be exterminated and that if you aren't speaking in a foreign language that you didn't even know existed and aren't aware of it at the time, then you aren't saved.  The latter of those two examples only makes sense in reality if you believe any and all religious hypocrites will die on the spot like Ananias and his wife did.  God does not need to do everything He does exactly the same way every day.  
HOWEVER,
Even if you could in any level of honesty say that all earnest God seeking members of a church that describes itself as Christian are abortion doctor - killers or gaystoppo members (sorry---probably not an appropriate pun, but....uh...yeah--not that sorry...) that still doesn't change the capacity for The Bible, in its entirety, to be A) scientifically proven or B) scientifcally possible.  One guy says The Bible isn't true because the sorcerer's donkey is said to have spoken words to the sorcerer.
Even if the encounter between the sorcerer and his donkey were 100% included in The Bible and the sorcerer didn't stop for a moment and say "YIKES!  When did YOU figure out how to talk??!" (which would have indicated to people who are alive today that it was not an everyday occurance and that God had a direct hand in the matter) there's still a possibility that animals had characteristics that are no longer present in their modern day variants.  Can such characteristics be scientifically proven to have existed in animals that were alive 3,000+ years ago?  Highly unlikely.  Most people seem to conclude that it was describing a miracle. If a miracle could be scientifically proven, it wouldn't be a miracle.  People also say "How is it different from any other religion?"  I can't speak of real authority on any other religion, but how many people have achieved self actualization by way of Buddhism or any similar religion?  How many people are thankful to The Enlightened One (Buddha) for their improved lot in life?  Does a millionaire with a hot wife and ample sex life and a great connection with her and bright kids with no sickness or deformities give thanks to Buddah?  What if you have some of that but not all of it?  What if your relationship with your wife could use some improvement or your kids aren't Einstein Jr. or they have some mild health issues or you're not a mllionaire but you had loving parents growing up and gained a secure job in a fairly high paying industry doing something that you aren't bored to tears with or resentful of in some way?  How do you know your life is better or worse than your previous life?  How can you possibly do better if for all you know the best anyone could ever do has already been done?  The Bible says essentially that everyone's got problems and we need to forgo any complaints we have and do what is necessary to show love and kindness to those who are facing difficulties.  Yes, the virtue of that can't be scientifically proven.  Yes, there may be similar pleas for justice in other religions but what do those religions amount to?  Many religions continue to exist on the pure basis that nobody has challenged those beliefs.  When people groups across the globe get introduced to The Bible, almost always opposition is met because it upsets the status quo.  But you almost always have those who take a step back and say "Hey...this book is onto something"  Indigenous religions are not being stolen by evangelism.  They are being abandoned.  If I have a CD that I love,love,loveSOfreakin'love the sound of today but for years on end can't find any joy in it, chances are I'm going to do what many of these people with localized religions who've been preached the Gospel have done -- let go and forge ahead.  Yes, The Bible is a very old book.  The Earth itself even older.  Does that mean it's not real or that any respect for it is not warranted?

Monday, May 4, 2020

May the 4th force be returned

STAR WARS THE DESPECIALIZED EDITION fan edit I can't figure out how to download to dual layer BD recordable.
RRRg.  Sold the "official" edition and got most of what I paid for it back at me.
rrrrr.

Now some AWESOME news!!!
Guess what popped into my mail box a couple days ago?
Eveything you see on this picture with the exception of Mr Stay Puft, The Slimer and his little pizzaroo too
!

In honor of yesterday's MLP / GB crossover thingy, I'm going to be musing on the ghost accessories that come with each figure as if they were the hero's pet rather than something to chase and catch.


You know how they saw pets often resemble their owners?  I've found that to be true in regards to the inner person.  My old cat Napoleon was almost identical to me in his behavior.  He was super smart, constantly inquiring and trying to learn stuff.  He sat on top of a toilet for about half an hour watching the plumber work on it.  He was also at turns clingy and wanting space.  He was full of energy and life, and it came out in the oddest of ways

Now, here it is:


PETER VENKMAN w GRABBER GHOST

You know how Peter Venkman (played by Bill Murray in the movies) was always trying to grab women?  Don't get me wrong.  He asked permission first...and didn't usually get it, but that's not the issue.  He was always doing his best to coyly say "May I grab you?"



                                                                                         RAY STANTZ w WRAPPER GHOST

Ray Stantz --- look at his face!  If that face's brain couldn't have conjured up the super duper freakishly deadly friendly side of Gozer the Gozarian, I don't know what could.
The Wrapper Ghost, like Ray's super freakishly friendly self, is designed to physically wrap itself onto things.  What things?  Not important.  Ray's presence, if it doesn't wrap itself around you and either kill you or make you a better human being, then you're probably in need of a ride in the Ecto-1 (or the Ecto-1A if you prefer...)

                                                                                EGON w. GULPER GHOST
Egon's voice, in the movie & in the TV series, always sounded like it was the victim of a gulp that never went down all the way.

                                                                                   WINSTON w. CHOMPER GHOST

I'm not sure why they chose "Chomper" (big beak) ghost to accompnay Winston.  I think they either ran out of ideas or it reflects a racist idea set that supports the notions of "black people are mouthy"
or
perhaps less offensive but extremely un-P.C.  ---- black people in the U.S. mostly migrated from the South or still live in the South after being kidnapped from Africa.  Maybe that's not even true, but if it is, it makes sense to assume a black man, either his ancestors or himself at some point or another, would at least WANT a big mouth to do some serious chomping on his southern cooking.
Call it racist or stupid or whatever.  That's the closest thing I can think of.  I don't the idea of "pet" was in the minds of the Kenner toymakers but I do think they were trying to pair them with a toy that somehow represents an aspect of their personality.  Obviously they either ran dry or something with Winston.

Also, why does Winston have his fists clenched and none of the other figures do?


More racism creeping in?  Na...well....naaa....


Thursday, April 16, 2020

kicking and screaming

Just been actively chill while inactively pulsating with suppressed will.
Pissed off a lot lately.  Go figure.  "I don't  feel like  reading The Bible."  "Well, you need to"  "Eh..."  And so it goes.  Stupid.  And I'm sitting here talking about it too.  Idk.
oook.  I seriously f--ing swear, today, maybe just today, feels like wind.  It's not wind-e.  It's like a day that was claymationed out of wind.  Like my head and the grass and the pavement were all formed out of a f--n cloud.  Stinks.  I hate these days.  They are superficially gorgeous and mind numbing.
It's been nice overall the past week or so.  Days have been beyond sufficient in sunlight while not being too heated by it.  We had some rain but not days on end of it.  One night I thought it might enter my room it was giant windy thundering.  My brother in law had just sealed a baldy-in-need-of-sealing window in my room a couple weeks or less prior.  If he hadn't done that..........
Decided to go to the store a couple days ago.  So far no symptoms of the bug.  Still won't know much of anything 'til 14 days is up.  I prayed to my Lord and asked for His protection.  I figure if He decides against granting that request, then He has the foresight and insight necessary to make Good of it.  The ultimate LIFE is not on Earth.  I don't get the impression The Garden Of Eden was ever meant to be the be all end all of man's experience.  I think the Garden of Eden was basically sort of a testing ground for God's creation.  God's creation failed the testing.  Yet He loved us regardless, so much so that he sent Jesus to dwell with us and die for us and live again so we can learn to live abundantly.  Someone on Amazon was saying that the rainbow does not mean what The Bible says it means because even after a tsunami there's a rainbow.  I so wish I could get ahold of that guy and explain The Bible.  He says he belongs to a church but the pastor there must be extremely weak minded to not be able to understand how the entire Bible adds up to make perfect sense if you use it to find answers.  I mean, for crying out loud; you don't need to be a genius to understand The Bible.  Most of what makes The Bible difficult to understand in spots has already been explained in other writings that are readily available.  Any pastor worth his salt can find these writings without any trouble.  Most of these books can be found by commonfolk as well.

Aaanyway.
uh....idk how I got started on that.  Oh...ya.  anyway.
Ug.  i probably had too much to eat for lunch.  glug.
i will c my way out of here.  sorry I don't have much more to say.  Maybe later today I'll think of something.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

OH! Sorry ---- Not dead.

Furrrdge
Adjustment to living in the new house is a snap.  I'm not an amateur at this after all.
Kids are time consuming.  I try to be on the main floor many of days in case my sister needs help + it's good to have company outside my computer.
Quarantine just means or two less outings each week.  I usually have no real rock solid reason for going anywhere anyway.  Many times I've found myself exhausted and sickened by eyeing a bunch of cool things ------ that I can't afford.  So it's all good.
My sister got a budget figured out for me this past month that breaks off my credit card payments and allows me to have $50/mo.  Sounds like a good chunk of money right?  It isn't.  I blew through almost all of it within 5 days.  From May onward I'm committed to giving $25 of that to the local church each month.  I don't feel any "speaking" of The Holy Spirit regarding dollar amounts, so I'm just going by what God told Moses straight up and commanded to be relayed to the Isrealites a s whole ---- 10% of everything.  I don't know what exactly "everything" is, but inasmuch as I'm aware, 10% is what I'm tithing.  I don't count the monetary value of gifts I receive, because my money gets spent on whatever I can afford.  Nobody has broken down the grocery costs per person, for instance.  Do the sanitary wipes I use get paid for by my income?  I have no clue.  It's all divvied up and spread out with no sense or order.  I have no clue what to tithe beyond what I am given clear as day by the Federal Government.  Obviously I get more than $250.  My entire check from the gov't is $771 but $600 of that just goes immediately to my sister and my sister uses that to calculate the amount of her tithe, basically tithing on my behalf...sorta...I would like to tithe $90 / mo but I'll have to rid myself of my Overstock.com credit card before I can even consider that.  And even that wouldn't be enough to enable it.  I'd still be missing about $5.00.  And I'd have no money whatsoever to even pay a measily $10 for a Spotify subscription.  Or a $5.00 Pandora Plus subscription.  Not that I necessarily need those.  Pandora is usually tolerable even with ads.  Spitify a little less so but still doable.

Aaanyway.  Still struggling to find the will to read God's Word on a regular basis.  And finding myself at fault in my actions because of that.  I finally took my antipsychotics for the first time in like 3 days.  I can't remember if I missed 2 days or 3.  too many in any case. 

Had my psych appt a couple days ago.  ATL Behavioral Medicine has got some serious communication issues.  They scheduled an appt with me --- by video chat --- and gave me these weird ass instructions and never got back to me.  Then they called me several days later saying "You had an appt at 3:15, so we need to reschedule"  Ok.....why did I have an appt and 3:15 yet nobody told me this?  They "re"scheduled the appt for the day formerly known as "tomorrow" and so I called to "check in" (one of the confusing points in the instructional email; I either have my phone on me --- as I should --- or I don't.........) and way before my scheduled appt time I have my video face to face w/ one of the staff there.  The next day I get some call about an appt I had scheduled for (((what at the time was considered))) TODAY!  what the fuck?  Tomorrow does not mean 2 days., it means ONE DAY away from THE current day!  The work day may have been coming to a close FOR THEM at 5:15 or whatever time that was that they called me saying my appt needed to be rescheduled.  But when it's 5:15, THE CALANDER DATE DOES NOT CHANGE!  Like fucking shit, you need a glossary of spock-speak to understand what X business' employees mean when they say something as fkkkk simple as "tomorrow"??????????????????????????????????
In all of this I've emailed them at least twice asking if I have a fee owed to them.  They've yet to respond.  For all I know because of their dumb shit, I owe them $200 in no show and late cancellation fees.  I hope they're at least aware that I do not SHOW UP for a VIDEO CALL!  I either answer my phone or I ignore it, deliberately in some fashion or another.  If I put my phone's noises on silent, then I can't exactly expect to be able to answer a video call, then can I?  If I leave my phone upstairs, I can't exactly blame them for the fact that I left my phone laying somewhere now can I?  I understand checking in when I got to the dr  Doc or whoever comes out and says my name and they have no reason to assume out of the half dozen or more people in the waiting room might be me UNLESS I check in.  But when you email or text soembody, the person either answers or they don't.  I don't know why someone would schedule an appt with a dr and then blow the dr off.  I can understand not answering the phone -- forgetting where it is or absent mindedly silencing it -- but regardless of when or if you check-in, the chance of answering when the doc calls is still just as high unless the patient is just being stupid and refusing to answer no matter what.
idk..I'd like to think I'm limited in this understanding of things.  Maybe.  (sigh)

Yep.  Still not much to talk about here.  Got a usual blog entry written and I haven't written in almost two months. ugg.

Thursday, February 6, 2020

A sin compounded

IF you've broken one command you've broken them all.
That is true, but only because ALL SIN STEMS from idolatry.  You would not steal if you were seeking God.  You would not murder if you were seeking God.  You would not fornicate if you were seeking God.  You would not DO ANYTHING that God forbids if you were seeking God.

If I stole a penny from your bank acct, you'd be outraged.  But would you be outraged because I'm not seeking God with my fullest strength or would you be outraged because of the potential for more money to be stolen?
If I stole 3/4 of your income & current 401k value, you'd be having difficulty doing things you know you need to and should be doing.  Unless of course you have 1 billion+ dollars collectively......  Money is important to God, it's important to people, thus all the more important to God, although God does not talk at great lengths about the value of money because we as functional human beings KNOW TOO WELL the value of money.  We OVERvalue money.  We do not need God to tell us how wonderful money is.  We DO need God to tell us that HUMAN LIFE is precious!  We do not value human life as much as we should.  We do not value others' existence as much as we should.  We should not be focusing on what we do not have.  Whatever we have by consequence of our righteous deeds or directly by the provisions of God should be enough.  Thus God does not condone taking someone else's penny or dime or nickel.  God may more easily forgive you for taking a penny vs. taking a million dollars, but the taking of a million dollars is not only a sin against God but a sin against people.  God does not exist independant of people.  He CAN exist independent of people, but He has chosen not to.  He is interested in us and he wants us to thrive in our lives.  You would repent of your theft of one penny by giving it back to the person you stole it from and by asking God to forgive your sins knowing your heart has drifted farther from Him than He is OK with.  But apologizing to the person you stole it from should not be made because of the wrong you did.  It should be made because of the increased distance you've created in the heart of one who already needs to get closer to God.  Yes, it stems from a sin, which in and of itself can be construed as hypocrisy, but the apology should not be some drawn out Lifetime movie of the week seminar.  It should however be sincere, and clear and believable.  The same is true of a Christian seeking to turn a bank robber's heart toward God.  Even if the bank robber did not kill anybody, or had good intent, nobody likes banks being robbed.  Bank tellers don't like being threatened.  Customers SHOULD NOT like watching bank tellers be threatened.  You may hate taxation and the greed that banks exude or some combination in whatever measure, but the people effected most in a bank robbery are the low level employees and the customers/consumers.
Beyond that, God does not limit what He forgives you for.  He can embrace a sincere willingness to repent from ANY sin, including murder.  Some sins are more difficult to deal with for the average person.  Getting angry is not forbidden amongst Christains.  Letting it linger longer than necessary IS forbidden.  Letting it lead to murder IS forbidden.  You are not repenting from your sins if you persist in anger.  A person who is homeless and steals a Snickers bar is not necessarily unrepentant.  They have some work to be done in their relationship with God, but I don't think they are any more evil than 99.999% of churchgoers in any or all denominations.  I don't think a person who masturbates because they aren't married is necessarily any more damned than 99.999% of churchgoers in any denomination in whatever country. 
I do believe I've been going backward in my walk with God the last few or so weeks.  I've been stagnant, somewhat.  I do need to drop myself and submit to God.  I don't know how to do that.  I need to engage with His Word more in the hopes that He will provide a means to do that within my heart and mind.

 He is Lord of all, King of Kings.  He does not condone our beings.  But He does understand and accept the reality of our limitations and has demonstrated a willingness to connect with us by sacrificing His Heart for Ours.  He demonstrated that publicly by showering His Wrath on his manifestation on Earth and privately by dwelling in our hearts and keeping a light lit for our journey in this world.

moving day!

My address is changing in a few days.  My sister and her husband sold their house and are moving about an hour away.  I don't know if I've mentioned any of it.  I saw the house a couple weeks ago.  It's awesome!  It's at least AS nice as the house I'm living in now, except it's even nicer because I won't be stuck in the basement part of it which is not as nice as the rest of the house.....

2/11 is the moving date

:)  !!

Limitations -- unlimited

"nothing is too hard for God"
The heck?  God has more power than any existent thing, but he is not unlimited in his power.  He is FAR exceeding in power than any mere mortal.  But if he is limited in his power, then why is the arrival of Jesus not equal to universal salvation for EVERYBODY?  New Testament speaks of "a sin that leads to death".  Yet people exclaim with such certainty "YOUR salvation is secure!"  If that's not just a bunch of b.s., then how does ANY sin lead to death?  How do our actions account for anything in our eternal destiny?  People make it sound like Jesus' sacrifice changed God's agenda.  BULLSHIT!  God is the same as he was at the beginning as he is today and will always be what he is and has always been.  THE BIBLE actaully SAYS that.  So how is it relevant that some people have salvation locked by the power of Heaven because of ancestral promise or some grand scheme that God knows far more about than any of us can even speculate without sounding pathetic?  God has the final say in our Salvation.  The fact that he is Just and Kind and doesn't nitpick about what we did right or how right we were in doing it is God's.  We don't own it and can't "claim" it.  We can claim the Crown of Victory after this whole battlefield is behind us, but WE ARE NOT done with our striving.  The Bible speaks of "completion" of salvation.  How is salvation not complete before we're born?  Because OUR SALVATION IS NOT SECURE!  We do not automatically gain entrance to Heaven because God loves Jacob and hates Esau.  Jacob was given a leg up in his salvation.  That wasn't because he deserved it, or because God had a "good feeling" about him, it was because of the promise He made to Abraham.  Esau had to work harder to obtain salvation and The Bible seems to indicate that he failed.  God knows who will be carried away by the direction of The Prince of The Wind because he knows everything.  Does that mean he's psychic?  Maybe.  Or maybe it simply means that the future is limited in its outcomes and God was not willing to do for Essau what He did for Jacob.  Jacob had a disposition that enabled him to receive God's Presence rightfully and Essau did not.  Essau was arrogant in his heart, flippant in his actions, and there's just no way you can receive God rightfully with so much of that going on.  I think The Holy Spirit will ultimately be the victor of my Salvation if I keep my eyes on Him.  He has given me a keen insight into scripture and all I need to do is be mindful of it.  Sounds easy right?  (scoff).

AAnyway.  I'm in a pissy mood.  Obviously.  I got a big ol' sermon about The Security of my salvation, and then the same pastor made a sermon of the exact opposite nature about a month later.  And I can understand that God is not only WORTHY of being praised, but that we are designed to praise God.  We as a biological species do the exact opposite.  We as New Creations are not yet finished in our Creation.  "What we will be has not yet been made known"  The New Creation, as one of the epistles puts it, is just a cacoon that will break apart.  The fabric of that cacoon is Jesus. 

There's a book I probably need to read about "predestination" by a well regarded pastor.  I seriously need to read God's word more regularly and engage with His presence and also need to probably read that book too, in between scripture breaks.


Friday, January 24, 2020

Luckwarm

Some Christians have a negative attitude about the word "luck".  God is sovereign but he does not control every single thing that happens.  My dad taught me not to smoke by insisting that I take a puff of a cigarette and asking what I thought of it.  Is that God's favor is that luck?  Mankind make poor decisions on a constant basis, not realizing when they've made good decisions necessarily.  Sometimes God may be at work within those decisions, but who can say?  If someone wins the lottery, that's not necessarily good luck.  That could be God's favor resting on them.  But if they plow through the money in pursuit of selfishness God's favor could turn away from them and cause the kind of catastrophic situations that many Grand Prize winners face after winning the lottery.  Is that bad luck?  No.  It's a consequence of one's bad decisions.  The thing is people's decisions effect other people.  God doesn't withold what we need.  But luck is not simply having what you need.  Nobody needs anything.  The Book of Job recounts what many would refer to as a devastating series of tragedy that came upon Job.  But he still had everything he needed.  We don't need to be happy.  We don't need to be healthy.  We dont even need to exist.  Many people exist in perpetual torment in the depths of Hell.  Heaven is far more than anyone can ask for.  God is sufficient in this world of our own self depreciating muck.  Maybe God does ensure that wreckless decisions benefit those most rightfully able to receive the consequences thereof, but in a quarter mile radius, if you throw a rock and it hits someone in the head, the odds of it hitting someone who God's favor rests on is kind of slim.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Wednesday the 25th & more

Finally coming off my Christmas gift buzz.  I had apprx $15 in gift cards from Swagbucks before Christmas and then my mom added $30 to that, so I was well padded for about a week and then some.
I still got a good chunk of that.  It's just not as "wow"ing as it was.  Kinda at a loss as to what to spend it on.  I'll find something for sure.  If nothing else, hopefully Hasbro's GHOSTBUSTERS license will show itself in a couple months or less.  Ultimately I'd prefer to buy that schiz at Toys 'R' Us, but TRU went bankrupt (aaag!) and they probably won't have one all that close to this part of "The Atlanta Area" (an absurd nickname for this part of Gwinnett County considering we're equally close to Athens, GA as we are to Atlanta, GA; although;;----w) We are moving to somewhere else which --I think-- is not in Gwinnett County.  I COULD be wrong.............but I still don't think TRU is gonna come to that part either.  At best, they'll have one located in the Mall of Georgia by summertime, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that.  I'm super super hoping some really real REAL GHOSTBUSTERS, THE (  heh ) (Kenner style, ppl!) action figure toys come upon us sometime this year.  Deep Discount leaked some preorder listings (now deleted), which give some indication that there will be some harkening back to the glory dayz of GHOSTBUSTing ('84-'91)

aaaanyway.  Even if the toys suck, someone will probably come out with some coolness.  I REALLY would ultimately prefer --- as an alternative to TRU - - to buy them at Target.  I order stuff of utility off Amazon UNLESS I CAN'T buy it anywhere else.  Mail order is great for stuff you really can get some use out of.  Action figures are gifts from the toy makers.  The money we get and the lack of lightning struck upon those that invest in such nonesense is a gift from The Heavenly Father, God Almighty.  I REALLY WANT SOME GHOSTBUSTERS KENNERSSS......

Ok.  Enough of that.
But seriously --- buying GB toys off Amazon is like somebody buying you cake mix for your birthday.  RRR!  C'mon TARGET ----- if nobody else is interested AT LEAST TAKE PITY ON MEEEEE!!!!!  GOFUNDMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  Harharhar.....anyway

um....

So.......
yeah.  I have like $30 in gift cards.  CRImany!

(pheeeee) I'm thinking. 

Eh.  idk.
Got free Spotify until at least late February i Think.  Need to check and see when that rebills. 
My sister's got like people lined up at the door to look at the house that needs to sell before she & her husband can put an offer on another house.  It looks like things are going good in the time dept.  My sister wants to move before she's late into her pregnancy.  It'll either be now/soon or like mid next year unless they insist on moving come hell or high water.  I don't know if that's the plan...

Hm.
house showing coming up somewhat soon.  I need to get going.  I'm sure I have more to say.   can't think of it right now and i"m holding in #1 so I gottttta go  xx

Sunday, December 22, 2019

He's as high as a kite!!~

Super stimulated as of late.  I feel nerved to the outer extremities with finger tapping pulse pounding EXCITEMENT!  I don't even know why half the time.  It's gotta be the increase in Cymbalta my psychiatrist recommended.  I'm feeling a lot more optimistic overall, although still plauged with paranoia and feelings of sadness and/or melencholi (sp????rrrrrr)

January 7th  -- Day one of good news to be
JOKER comes out on DVD and Blu ray and can be rented from Redbox.  I'm assuming it'll also then be available for rent at Amazon etc.

January 28th -- TERMINATOR: DARK FATE (the "other" Terminator 3) comes to video!!!!!!!!

February 2020 CLOCKERS makes it's "took you long enough" debut on Blu ray.  One of my favorite movies.  Stylistically it reminds me of BRINGING OUT THE DEAD.  Martin Scorsese was tapped to direct CLOCKERS and he did produce it, but I don't know how those two movies so manage to pull me in and throw me around for a whirl.  I guess CLOCKERS connects with me personally because I grew up with gang violence being a very pervasive presence nearby where I lived in central California, in Monteray County.  Seaside, CA was the worst.  It was kind of an issue in Salinas as well.  Seaside waso bad in the '80s that my mom did everything she could to get my father to pack up and move us somewhere else.  It got a lot better after someone having a picnic ended up getting shot by a stray bullet in a gun fight.  It still wasn't exactly a safe place to live per se when I'd left there for Missouri at age 13, in the summer of 1997.

As for BRINGING OUT THE DEAD, I guess I relate to it because it's basically about a guy who has a hard time adjusting to his change of circumstance.  He starts out as a medic, thinking he can help those in need and he succeeds well, but ends up in a dry season, where his ability as a medic isn't put on display for anyone to see.  His patients either die on the way to the hospital or before he can assess their situation well enough to help them.  I was like that in some way back when I was a little child.  I had a "psychotic breakdown" when I was about 8 years old and most people would ask what happened to cause it and I simply can't explain it.  The number of negative life changes occurring just was too much for me to take at that time.  My father leaving, the change in address, the dog having to be re-homed, everything, it just got to be too much and even though I'd been medicated for a couple years at that point, I wasn't able to be treated with regular parenting.  I ended up staying 2 months in a psychiatric ward and another couple years in a temporary living situation.  My mom says the temporary living situation should have been much more temporary (less than a year) but the doctors were not medicating me effectively and the staff were only concerned with pissing me off because they were told by someone high up that it would be good for me and my anger issues  I did eventually get a sort of talking to about how to better handle being picked on etc., but that was a long time coming.  Nobody ever went over that stuff with me.  They just tormented me and watched me suffer in glad joy and I just kept suffering and wishing they would pity me instead of prey on me.  I had the same kind of reaction to the radical change in family dynamics that occurred in the early '00s.  I was an atheist who eventually became a believer who didn't believe because it was too horrifying to be true.  I eventually after a decade of raising my fist at God, figuratively speaking, came to the conclusion that A) this circling around of hate and justification of disbelief was not healthy and was not going to end and B) If The Bible is true, I have no way of ceasing such fact from existing.  And after a little bit of a rocky start, still a little bumpy, I feel much more relaxed and at peace with myself and God.  I know that He is love and the only reason so few people will see Heaven and Eternal Life is because mankind is so against His love.  You see it in people's raising of their children.  So many people are sparing the rod and spoiling their children.  One of the proverbs goes so far as to say something to the effect of a child without a good ass whooping is better off dead.
  FOUND IT--Proverbs 13:24


JULY 10 2020
GHOSTBUSTERS AFTERLIFE!!!!!!
JUN - AUG 2020 ----- GHOSTBUSTERS TOYS!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD still not scheduled for release on Bluray as far as I know.
THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS toys from Kenner might be gettting reproduced for TO-DAY but I haven't heard any official confirmation.  Some listings popped up at DeepDiscount.com including something that sounds very similar to an unproduced concept that had been in the pipeline but never got put into action until it was too late.  A prototype was made up but Kenner bigwhigs had already decided to pull the plug on the RGB toy line.  There weren't any details on the listings that DeepDiscount had up.  They were taken down a few days later.  GhostbustersNews.com had a post on their site and at Twitter about it, but that got removed as well.  I asked Jason at GBNewsdotcom why he deleted the post and I GUESS it must be kind of a mib hush hush thing.  Like "NEVERMIND ---- You didn't see what you're claiming I posted on my website.  IT - NEVER - HAPPENED!"

tHE RELEASE date DeepDiscount had posted was August.  I don't know if they'rell be any other Hasbro delicacies popping up before then or not.  There were a couple that were supposed to come in May actually, if I recall correctly.

The rest of 2020 is devoted to GB toys.

I have a preorder at Bullmoose.com in place for GHOSTBUSTERS LEGACY: THE MAKING OF GHOSTBUSTERS I & II by Matt McAlister (who I have no knowledge regarding, I'm just assuming he was hired for a valid reason).  Books is supposed to ship June 2nd of 2020.  So there's that.
Man.  2020 is full of great things.
Even if Jesus shows up before it happens, I can at least say I had something to be excited about.  I kinda doubt he'll show up out of the blue like that.  Revelation details this fairly well.  I don't know for a fact that it's all in chronological order.  There's a section that talks about something like a book with seven seals or something like that.  Jesus riding in on a cloud is supposed to be toward the end of the 7 seals, but why each seal is numbered the way it is is not known and maybe God had in mind for that to be the chronological order but there's no promise or statement of such being so.  It's possible that God may delay Jesus' coming way longer.  I don't think mankind has stooped any lower than it's previously been known to.  I think maybe the surge in persecution of Christians overall throughout the world might be an indication of The Signs that Jesus talks about.  I think it'll probably get so bad that even in the U.S., things will become much worse than they presently are.  And I don't think the time is that far off.  People who have had the Gospel given to them as young children are much weaker in their ability to abide in the Holy Spirit than they were 50 years ago.  With all the drug culture and rampant pornography being thrown about throughtout the 70's and 80's, many people after leaving home were seduced and slowly, but quicker than they perhaps thought they would have, fell away.  Some of them came back, but crawling back to God is sometimes harder than it should be.  I'm still finding it difficult after 5 years in church to shave off my old nature and put on the full armor of God.
I'm fine with God returning whenever he wishes to.  I know i can't demand to live long enough to see a movie that might not even be all that great in theaters and/or on video.  I mean, really --- despite the anticipation and the very real possibility that GB:AFterlife will indeed be a jolly good time of a movie, it still could A) suck balls B) end up kinda "meh" or C) end up 2 or 3 serious notches below the bar set by Ghostbusters II which was not that high to begin with.  Then of course there's D) which is it could trump the original.  Fat chance.  Most likely it'll be at least as good as Ghostbusters II although it obviously will be a very different movie.  It takes place in a rural setting whereas GBII was all about the bright lights and big citiness of NYC circa 1988/1989.  Also of note: If God permits his citizens to watch movies --- or if some of His citizens insist on watching cinema --- ------- GB: Afterlife can "live on" in Heaven, with the most creative person you'll ever meet at the helm.  When God says cut, the Angels better do it right!