My sister gave birth to my nephew Joseph yesterday. I haven't blogged in so much time, I'd forgotten to let all you people whoever the heck you are know that my life has forever changed! Well, not really. I haven't even met him yet. Yes, I'm a heartless old fart. "How could you forsake your only child!" Yeah, whatever. I'll meet him when I have a reason to. I'd prefer not to have to visit him at a hospital. My sister had a terrible time. He was supposed to be born on the 19th, so they put her in something called "induced labor", which still took over 24 hrs to get done w/. Luckily, she's still alive, but she's got some wounding from the process --- the dude's 9.5 lbs!!! --- and the doc wants to make sure the antibiotics for the wound are fully absorbed and do what they're supposed to do before letting her back into the MUST DO HARM segment of planet Earth.
My sister probably has much more intense and detailed blogposts you can read. As for me, I just hope the little interaction I do have with him in the future will not steer him away from The Lord's desire for him. I hope this is the beginning of a happier chapter in the Cardwell/Stephens/Conway family tree.
You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Add comments, quantity & priority
NOTE: This blogpost is a substitute for the "Comments" section of an item on my Amazon wish list. You can find it by typing in the Amazon search bar: B01B2M9RM6. Amazon's wish list comments allow for up to 300 characters per item.
NOTE2: It sounds like I'm miserable b/c I don't own this item, but I'm fully aware this item means very little to my life overall. I'm posting all of this here b/c I'm an obsessive nut and a stickler for detail dying for attention. I understand if nobody wants to read all of this.
Recently, as I think I've written about here before, Epic (Sony) rectified a problem that had been in existence since 2001. Michael Jackson BAD was re-issued at that time, with remastered sound, (surprisingly good) bonus tracks, and RE-VAMPED COVER-ART. The iconic front cover-art was left alone, except for a slipcase which was later done away with, but the back cover-art, which went hand in hand with the front cover-art (IMO) was totally wiped away and replaced with some lame concert photo. They reinstated the back cover-art in 2012, when the 25th Anniversary edition came out (identifiable as BAD25), but re-vamped the front cover-art. They weren't so dumb as to do away with the entirety of it, but they didn't need to do anything to it. It was iconic b/c it was perfect. I don't think the photographer just asked Michael Jackson to stand in front of a white backdrop and snapped a pic at random and submitted it to Epic Records for approval. It's possible for an icon to become an icon at the first try, but icons generally need grooming. This was a work of art -- and it's not as if it it was just some random thing that nobody cared about that the creator wasted his time and money on b/c it was important to him; this was part of a cultural phenomenon that is synonymous with the entire three years that remained in the 1980s at the time of the album's release. The 2012 cover-art seemed more akin to a ripoff or an amateur (hack) paying tribute. If you want to post your fan art publically, go ahead, but for Epic/Sony to slap it on the front of the album is a huge disrespect to the music and the good memories it made for those who lived it through back then.
This issue has been addressed. Apparently I'm not the only who has felt this way. In 2015, the remastered sound, bonus tracks and amateurish meddling with the graphics were removed and we now have the exact same item I remember owning and loving when I was a toddler and as a teenager wishing I was a little younger.
The only problem is the jewel case. It's not a problem with the particular jewel case. It's an industry problem. CDs are considered on the verge of extinction. The return of the vinyl LP is only exacerbating that fact. So record cos have to cut costs. Jewel cases are no longer as durable. Sometimes you go into a store and the case seems OK, but you open it up and the center that holds the disc in place is in shatters. And it's not just that. The cases scratch much easier. A lot of CD cases used to be fat and shiny upon unwrapping. Now they're often dull and fragile. If you treat your stuff right, your fat and shiny jewel case can stay just as shiny as it was when you bought it. A lot of people don't, and that makes buying used CDs often less satisfying than buying them brand new. But in this case, you're not buying it brand new. You're buying a historic relic (classic) that most people don't care about and probably wouldn't consider buying if the prices of older CDs weren't so low nowadays. The CDs that just came out this year often do still come in shiny thick cases. Usually they don't come in a jewel case, but rather a combination of cardboard and plastic or sometimes they'll just wrap them in cardboard which I hate b/c the disc is no much more prone to scratches. But the new recordings released on CD that aren't housed in cardboard or hybrid packaging are very nicely packaged usually. That fact is not exclusive to Billboard Top 20 musical acts either. I bought a CD called NERVE ENDINGS by Too Close To Touch. The music was good, not great, got boring after awhile and I really hesitated to get rid of it because it was so nice to have a good quality jewel case in my hands. But record companies will often repress a CD when the band that makes it follows it up with another. When Hot Band releases their follow up to HB2014 titled HB2016, HB2014 is considered "old" and instead of discontinuing production of the older sibling to HB2016, the factory continues to produce copies of HB2014, albeit on cheaper quality plastic inside of an even cheaper plastic casing.
Oh, and as if that wasn't annoying enough, I've recently come to realize that replacement jewel cases are also hard to find. Nobody is making them anymore. Staples is the only place I could find any w/o paying an arm and a leg.
The vinyl LP edition that was recently released (listed as an import on Amazon) is the way to go. The CD edition has never been THE BEST way to go. Vinyl is usually better at capturing iconic cover imagery anyway, especially for albums that came out before 1988. I have a mini-LP CD, but the plastic sleeve is dirty. I don't think it was like that when I got it in the mail from someone on Amazon selling it super cheap. I'm afraid to buy another one 'cause I'm likely to ruin that one too. The design is striking though. The disc is housed in what they call a gatefold cover. It opens up like a book and the disc is housed inside a slot on one end. I even like the way the track list is printed on the back cover. It doesn't specify "Side A" vs "Side B". The lettering is bold and in all caps, just like the thugs in the beginning of the music video questioning the degree of the others' "Bad"-ness.
The vinyl edition is expensive. It's always been the best way to go and at the current rate of $20 apprx, it's really not bad. If one wants to send me a birthday present, christmas present, or let me know I have a stalker (it could happen...right?), then it's also not only a terriblly outrageous price to pay, but it also saves the time of inquiring to sellers on the Amazon Marketplace and Discogs' about weather or not their copy of Michael Jackson BAD comes in the original jewel case and if the original jewel case is damaged and if so how badly etc. etc...nobody that I know has the time and inclination to do all that.
NOTE2: It sounds like I'm miserable b/c I don't own this item, but I'm fully aware this item means very little to my life overall. I'm posting all of this here b/c I'm an obsessive nut and a stickler for detail dying for attention. I understand if nobody wants to read all of this.
Recently, as I think I've written about here before, Epic (Sony) rectified a problem that had been in existence since 2001. Michael Jackson BAD was re-issued at that time, with remastered sound, (surprisingly good) bonus tracks, and RE-VAMPED COVER-ART. The iconic front cover-art was left alone, except for a slipcase which was later done away with, but the back cover-art, which went hand in hand with the front cover-art (IMO) was totally wiped away and replaced with some lame concert photo. They reinstated the back cover-art in 2012, when the 25th Anniversary edition came out (identifiable as BAD25), but re-vamped the front cover-art. They weren't so dumb as to do away with the entirety of it, but they didn't need to do anything to it. It was iconic b/c it was perfect. I don't think the photographer just asked Michael Jackson to stand in front of a white backdrop and snapped a pic at random and submitted it to Epic Records for approval. It's possible for an icon to become an icon at the first try, but icons generally need grooming. This was a work of art -- and it's not as if it it was just some random thing that nobody cared about that the creator wasted his time and money on b/c it was important to him; this was part of a cultural phenomenon that is synonymous with the entire three years that remained in the 1980s at the time of the album's release. The 2012 cover-art seemed more akin to a ripoff or an amateur (hack) paying tribute. If you want to post your fan art publically, go ahead, but for Epic/Sony to slap it on the front of the album is a huge disrespect to the music and the good memories it made for those who lived it through back then.
This issue has been addressed. Apparently I'm not the only who has felt this way. In 2015, the remastered sound, bonus tracks and amateurish meddling with the graphics were removed and we now have the exact same item I remember owning and loving when I was a toddler and as a teenager wishing I was a little younger.
The only problem is the jewel case. It's not a problem with the particular jewel case. It's an industry problem. CDs are considered on the verge of extinction. The return of the vinyl LP is only exacerbating that fact. So record cos have to cut costs. Jewel cases are no longer as durable. Sometimes you go into a store and the case seems OK, but you open it up and the center that holds the disc in place is in shatters. And it's not just that. The cases scratch much easier. A lot of CD cases used to be fat and shiny upon unwrapping. Now they're often dull and fragile. If you treat your stuff right, your fat and shiny jewel case can stay just as shiny as it was when you bought it. A lot of people don't, and that makes buying used CDs often less satisfying than buying them brand new. But in this case, you're not buying it brand new. You're buying a historic relic (classic) that most people don't care about and probably wouldn't consider buying if the prices of older CDs weren't so low nowadays. The CDs that just came out this year often do still come in shiny thick cases. Usually they don't come in a jewel case, but rather a combination of cardboard and plastic or sometimes they'll just wrap them in cardboard which I hate b/c the disc is no much more prone to scratches. But the new recordings released on CD that aren't housed in cardboard or hybrid packaging are very nicely packaged usually. That fact is not exclusive to Billboard Top 20 musical acts either. I bought a CD called NERVE ENDINGS by Too Close To Touch. The music was good, not great, got boring after awhile and I really hesitated to get rid of it because it was so nice to have a good quality jewel case in my hands. But record companies will often repress a CD when the band that makes it follows it up with another. When Hot Band releases their follow up to HB2014 titled HB2016, HB2014 is considered "old" and instead of discontinuing production of the older sibling to HB2016, the factory continues to produce copies of HB2014, albeit on cheaper quality plastic inside of an even cheaper plastic casing.
Oh, and as if that wasn't annoying enough, I've recently come to realize that replacement jewel cases are also hard to find. Nobody is making them anymore. Staples is the only place I could find any w/o paying an arm and a leg.
The vinyl LP edition that was recently released (listed as an import on Amazon) is the way to go. The CD edition has never been THE BEST way to go. Vinyl is usually better at capturing iconic cover imagery anyway, especially for albums that came out before 1988. I have a mini-LP CD, but the plastic sleeve is dirty. I don't think it was like that when I got it in the mail from someone on Amazon selling it super cheap. I'm afraid to buy another one 'cause I'm likely to ruin that one too. The design is striking though. The disc is housed in what they call a gatefold cover. It opens up like a book and the disc is housed inside a slot on one end. I even like the way the track list is printed on the back cover. It doesn't specify "Side A" vs "Side B". The lettering is bold and in all caps, just like the thugs in the beginning of the music video questioning the degree of the others' "Bad"-ness.
The vinyl edition is expensive. It's always been the best way to go and at the current rate of $20 apprx, it's really not bad. If one wants to send me a birthday present, christmas present, or let me know I have a stalker (it could happen...right?), then it's also not only a terriblly outrageous price to pay, but it also saves the time of inquiring to sellers on the Amazon Marketplace and Discogs' about weather or not their copy of Michael Jackson BAD comes in the original jewel case and if the original jewel case is damaged and if so how badly etc. etc...nobody that I know has the time and inclination to do all that.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
My excitement renwed...is it worth it?
Ok, I'm still pretty much broke, at least broke enough to seriously question weather I can afford paying for a movie theater ticket x2.
But I'm not nearly as down about seeing the new GHOSTBUSTERS film. I think it gets to seem more depressing when sitting haunched waiting for the kill...that is two months down the road...it gets to feeling like idol worship and S&M combined...ig...
I still highly doubt it will be as good as the first or anywhere near. BUT -- I am indeed in better spirits about it. I figured I was being a little critical of the movie basing it soley on a trailer. I knew there was a lot of stuff that wasn't included in the trailer...there still lots of stuff that isn't in the trailer. The movie's got to be at least 90 minutes long and the two trailers released have a combined total of maybe 4 minutes of that footage.
I think the best thing at this point for my sanity is to sit back and see how things go. If I don't see it in theaters, so be it. I need to at least get a $5 concession at the counter or whatever + pay the movie ticket price which is between $12 and $21 depending on what time of day I see it and if I go the Fandango route or not.
hmmm...
But I'm not nearly as down about seeing the new GHOSTBUSTERS film. I think it gets to seem more depressing when sitting haunched waiting for the kill...that is two months down the road...it gets to feeling like idol worship and S&M combined...ig...
I still highly doubt it will be as good as the first or anywhere near. BUT -- I am indeed in better spirits about it. I figured I was being a little critical of the movie basing it soley on a trailer. I knew there was a lot of stuff that wasn't included in the trailer...there still lots of stuff that isn't in the trailer. The movie's got to be at least 90 minutes long and the two trailers released have a combined total of maybe 4 minutes of that footage.
I think the best thing at this point for my sanity is to sit back and see how things go. If I don't see it in theaters, so be it. I need to at least get a $5 concession at the counter or whatever + pay the movie ticket price which is between $12 and $21 depending on what time of day I see it and if I go the Fandango route or not.
hmmm...
Thursday, May 12, 2016
THE RETURN OF THE KIDZ
Sony and Mattel will soon be trying to remind kids of how awesome Paul Feig's new GHOSTBUSTERS film is so they don't forget how awesome it is. How? By mass merchandising.
And just like a lot of other things in this modern world, they are cheaply made and overpriced. Amazon has them in stock and the hero figures are $20 a pop. The ghost figures are $12. I haven't bought any of them. The Melissa McCarthy hero figure has 5 Amazon customer reviews and an average of 1.5 stars or something like that (out of 5). That is just pathetic. One reviewer said the plastic feels dangerous to have young kids playing with. So not only will these toys be lucky to survive the next 20 years if they're NOT opened, but the kids who play with them are lucky to survive childhood doing so. Ugh. I think I'll pass on this whirlwind of b.s. I'm not feeling the love. I get the impression the film will be Ok, but nothing to shout about. I'm starting to wonder if I even want to see it in theaters. Two tickets would be cheaper than a DVD or Blu ray copy of the movie, but then I always feel the need to buy popcorn and soda to go with it...I'd be saving money just buying it on DVD if I end up doing that...(sigh)...
And just like a lot of other things in this modern world, they are cheaply made and overpriced. Amazon has them in stock and the hero figures are $20 a pop. The ghost figures are $12. I haven't bought any of them. The Melissa McCarthy hero figure has 5 Amazon customer reviews and an average of 1.5 stars or something like that (out of 5). That is just pathetic. One reviewer said the plastic feels dangerous to have young kids playing with. So not only will these toys be lucky to survive the next 20 years if they're NOT opened, but the kids who play with them are lucky to survive childhood doing so. Ugh. I think I'll pass on this whirlwind of b.s. I'm not feeling the love. I get the impression the film will be Ok, but nothing to shout about. I'm starting to wonder if I even want to see it in theaters. Two tickets would be cheaper than a DVD or Blu ray copy of the movie, but then I always feel the need to buy popcorn and soda to go with it...I'd be saving money just buying it on DVD if I end up doing that...(sigh)...
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
MM/DD -- still kinda lukewarm
I attended a seminar thing on May 1 at a church I've been regularly attending for about a month now. It was a very convincing and informative session about having zeal for the Lord God. I have been making more of an effort, but I still fall into the lull of not praying. I prayed kind of extensively 5/8 (I would just say "the day before yesterday" except in 3/4 of the United States it's still Monday).
Anyway....as I was saying, I prayed more than usual then, but I still ran out of things to say to Him after a grand total of maybe half an hour of prayer (that's a generous estimate too...I'm not really convinced it was that much time, but it's possible). I then proceeded to read where I left off in His word, and then found myself kind of half following along. I sorta lost track of who is who and what is what. I'm on the sequel to the book of Kings. I'm under the impression I missed something. It keeps talking about King so and so of such and such land, and it keeps mentioning these nations that are not explained, as far as I am aware. I have the freedom to assume that they are neighboring nations, but somehow I got the impression that at least one of those nations are fragments of Israel. The nation of Israel was split into two nations as was explained in my small group's study of THE STORY, but I don't know if there was any further division of the land or if I read something that I forgot I'd read or if my eyes were looking at a critical verse or series of versus while my mind was wandering in whichever direction(s)...Anyway; I found myself rather lost in the midst of God's word on...I guess it was Sunday. And now I should be in bed, I'm sleepy as all get out even though I really don't want to be (!)...and I didn't read a lick of God's word and I prayed very little if at all today...I don't specifically remember praying, although I think I may have thanked Him for a few things. And Saturday went by in a rather similar fashion -- just wasted...I was rather exctatic about a nice fantasy I had about going to see GHOSTBUSTERS on opening day and then walking into Target as if I was 5 years old again and seeing all the GB toys gracing the shelves with their twinkling presence. And then of course topping it off Chick-Fill-A. Me and my mom were going to go to Chick-fill-A today in fact, but we had some trouble finding it. So we went to an Italian dine-in restaurant instead and spent almost all my money and some of my Mom's (it was my idea mainly, so I shouldn't have even asked her to pay for any of it, but I did...drats! The day after mother's day too!)
I've been eating homemade pumpkin bread that my mom made over the last few days. It's loaded with fiber as it's made with whole grain flour (1 cup of it per loaf), and so I've had a more healthy amount of BM than I had been, but I the downside to that is I really need to take a shower...if I weren't sleepy as heck, I would still be trying to think my way out of it since I just don't like the ordeal of taking my clothes off, getting in the shower, and then getting dried off etc and then getting dressed. The whole process takes like half an hour and it seems bigger to me than it apparently does to most people...like a giant leap forward for myself and a step back for man kind...ugh...
Ok...
g'night
Anyway....as I was saying, I prayed more than usual then, but I still ran out of things to say to Him after a grand total of maybe half an hour of prayer (that's a generous estimate too...I'm not really convinced it was that much time, but it's possible). I then proceeded to read where I left off in His word, and then found myself kind of half following along. I sorta lost track of who is who and what is what. I'm on the sequel to the book of Kings. I'm under the impression I missed something. It keeps talking about King so and so of such and such land, and it keeps mentioning these nations that are not explained, as far as I am aware. I have the freedom to assume that they are neighboring nations, but somehow I got the impression that at least one of those nations are fragments of Israel. The nation of Israel was split into two nations as was explained in my small group's study of THE STORY, but I don't know if there was any further division of the land or if I read something that I forgot I'd read or if my eyes were looking at a critical verse or series of versus while my mind was wandering in whichever direction(s)...Anyway; I found myself rather lost in the midst of God's word on...I guess it was Sunday. And now I should be in bed, I'm sleepy as all get out even though I really don't want to be (!)...and I didn't read a lick of God's word and I prayed very little if at all today...I don't specifically remember praying, although I think I may have thanked Him for a few things. And Saturday went by in a rather similar fashion -- just wasted...I was rather exctatic about a nice fantasy I had about going to see GHOSTBUSTERS on opening day and then walking into Target as if I was 5 years old again and seeing all the GB toys gracing the shelves with their twinkling presence. And then of course topping it off Chick-Fill-A. Me and my mom were going to go to Chick-fill-A today in fact, but we had some trouble finding it. So we went to an Italian dine-in restaurant instead and spent almost all my money and some of my Mom's (it was my idea mainly, so I shouldn't have even asked her to pay for any of it, but I did...drats! The day after mother's day too!)
I've been eating homemade pumpkin bread that my mom made over the last few days. It's loaded with fiber as it's made with whole grain flour (1 cup of it per loaf), and so I've had a more healthy amount of BM than I had been, but I the downside to that is I really need to take a shower...if I weren't sleepy as heck, I would still be trying to think my way out of it since I just don't like the ordeal of taking my clothes off, getting in the shower, and then getting dried off etc and then getting dressed. The whole process takes like half an hour and it seems bigger to me than it apparently does to most people...like a giant leap forward for myself and a step back for man kind...ugh...
Ok...
g'night
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
the winds of Esau
I've been listeing to WAKE UP THE WONDER by Elevation Worship and saw something about it being inspired by "the story of Jacob", which I *think* I read, but I had no idea what about Jacob's story is so unique. It struck me as odd that he won a wrestling match with God...my guess is God let him win...aaaanyway
It seems based on some online searching and a bit of correspondence with an administrator for a site I found titled foundationsforfreedom.net that Jacob's Life Story is something to remember as it is referenced more so in the later parts of the Old Testament than it seems to be at the moment reading Kings 1 after Samuel 1 and Samuel 2
I was steered toward this Bible passage:
"I have loved you,” says the Lord. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau cJacob’s brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.”
and I remembered something my old Pastor Jeremy Clayton from a Church of God in Cape Girardeau, MO said: "God doesn't hate".
This website here seems to make a wild stretch to support that claim: http://www.gotquestions.org/Jacob-Esau-love-hate.html, but it's possible the writer of that website was assuming a reader would know a key thing or two that I did not.
Anyway...
When reading that portion of Genesis, I always felt more sympathy for Esau than Jacob. Obviously, I struggle with feelings of vengeance. I don't think I pray enough for God to feel moved to do anything about that. I rarely pray. I feel so empty inside most of the time, it just feeds on itself. My habits are an empty hearted beast, yet I am drawn to them. I turn on the computer and then I watch the sands in the hourglass changeover.
What really struck me was this verse: "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son." Actually, I was directed to a piece of that verse which I looked up because I didn't feel like quoting a quote of half a sentence...but now that I've read the whole sentence, there's two things that are striking about it, but I'll get the less obvious one out of the way...
(clears throat): When I was reading about the bad blood between Jacob and Esau, I kinda skimmed over the part where he made what I would call a dumb decision. I understand being wise with one's money and all that, but I guess thinking about it, I've become blind to my own poverty. I think of money and I think of food shelter and clothing. Beyond that, it's a retirement account and a bunch of cool stuff that I can't afford unless I find them from a thrift store. My clothing mostly comes literally from various thrift stores. Books and DVDs, music CDs, etc etc....I rarely pay full retail price for them. When I do, it's after I've spent hours deciding weather or not I should. I finally bought THROUGH ART WE ARE ALL EQUALS by Johnny Craig's band Slaves. That CD came out in 2014. Not only did it take me 1.5 years to buy it, but when I did buy it, I used a credit card. I do plan on paying off that particular purchase in May, since my sister told me to promise not to buy anything at Overstock using credit again. I have wasted what seems to me like a large sum of money on garbage. And it is a large sum of money. It's also a large sum of time it's taken to waste that money. I've spent more time not having any money than the time it's taken to accumulate that mass of wasteful spending history.
It's easier in a lot of cases to write off something I can't afford as meaningless and hope I can somehow afford it later without instantaneously depleting my bank account balance. I still pine for it, but it's with a mix of confusion and disgust. On one hand, I see imperfections on the item that make me wish something like it but better existed, and then I'm confused because I don't remember why I was drawn to the item to begin with, so I just walk away with this sick feeling like my energy supply has been drained and for nothing. And that's just for a few "big" things that I think of as being "definitive" or should be definitive. I've been considering life after electricity when SSI runs out and I can't be using the computer all the time. So GHOSTBUSTERS: ULTIMATE VISUAL HISTORY, which I would expect to have nice color photos of THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS toys by Kenner seems like a good substitute for the movie. But I don't know because I haven't seen the book up close. And it costs $35+/- And then I think about it and how it would actually benefit me and I can't really figure out how it would be worth it. I mean, really...when I do watch GHOSTBUSTERS, it's usually less than 20 minutes at a time, and that's not 20 minutes multiple times a day or even multiple times a week...so what's the point?
I do need to give more serious response to the reality that God is in control and that my life is not going to get better by enhancing my utility belt.
I sometimes wonder what a guy who gives God 10% of his income and gains wealth because of it really gains. Obviously, he gains an ability to give God more money, but what does the rest of it mean? Jesus himself warned of doom to those who are well fed. I'm guessing that's an abridged version of the words that came out of Jesus' mouth, which are lost in the wind like everything else spoken before the dawn of recording devices, but unless that is to be taken at face value, I can't help but think of how God reacted when the Israelites insisted upon having a human as their king instead of God as king. God wasn't happy about it, but He found peace with their wishes and did what He could to make the best of it, even though they didn't hold up with their end of the bargain.
It seems based on some online searching and a bit of correspondence with an administrator for a site I found titled foundationsforfreedom.net that Jacob's Life Story is something to remember as it is referenced more so in the later parts of the Old Testament than it seems to be at the moment reading Kings 1 after Samuel 1 and Samuel 2
I was steered toward this Bible passage:
"I have loved you,” says the Lord. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau cJacob’s brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.”
and I remembered something my old Pastor Jeremy Clayton from a Church of God in Cape Girardeau, MO said: "God doesn't hate".
This website here seems to make a wild stretch to support that claim: http://www.gotquestions.org/Jacob-Esau-love-hate.html, but it's possible the writer of that website was assuming a reader would know a key thing or two that I did not.
Anyway...
When reading that portion of Genesis, I always felt more sympathy for Esau than Jacob. Obviously, I struggle with feelings of vengeance. I don't think I pray enough for God to feel moved to do anything about that. I rarely pray. I feel so empty inside most of the time, it just feeds on itself. My habits are an empty hearted beast, yet I am drawn to them. I turn on the computer and then I watch the sands in the hourglass changeover.
What really struck me was this verse: "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son." Actually, I was directed to a piece of that verse which I looked up because I didn't feel like quoting a quote of half a sentence...but now that I've read the whole sentence, there's two things that are striking about it, but I'll get the less obvious one out of the way...
(clears throat): When I was reading about the bad blood between Jacob and Esau, I kinda skimmed over the part where he made what I would call a dumb decision. I understand being wise with one's money and all that, but I guess thinking about it, I've become blind to my own poverty. I think of money and I think of food shelter and clothing. Beyond that, it's a retirement account and a bunch of cool stuff that I can't afford unless I find them from a thrift store. My clothing mostly comes literally from various thrift stores. Books and DVDs, music CDs, etc etc....I rarely pay full retail price for them. When I do, it's after I've spent hours deciding weather or not I should. I finally bought THROUGH ART WE ARE ALL EQUALS by Johnny Craig's band Slaves. That CD came out in 2014. Not only did it take me 1.5 years to buy it, but when I did buy it, I used a credit card. I do plan on paying off that particular purchase in May, since my sister told me to promise not to buy anything at Overstock using credit again. I have wasted what seems to me like a large sum of money on garbage. And it is a large sum of money. It's also a large sum of time it's taken to waste that money. I've spent more time not having any money than the time it's taken to accumulate that mass of wasteful spending history.
It's easier in a lot of cases to write off something I can't afford as meaningless and hope I can somehow afford it later without instantaneously depleting my bank account balance. I still pine for it, but it's with a mix of confusion and disgust. On one hand, I see imperfections on the item that make me wish something like it but better existed, and then I'm confused because I don't remember why I was drawn to the item to begin with, so I just walk away with this sick feeling like my energy supply has been drained and for nothing. And that's just for a few "big" things that I think of as being "definitive" or should be definitive. I've been considering life after electricity when SSI runs out and I can't be using the computer all the time. So GHOSTBUSTERS: ULTIMATE VISUAL HISTORY, which I would expect to have nice color photos of THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS toys by Kenner seems like a good substitute for the movie. But I don't know because I haven't seen the book up close. And it costs $35+/- And then I think about it and how it would actually benefit me and I can't really figure out how it would be worth it. I mean, really...when I do watch GHOSTBUSTERS, it's usually less than 20 minutes at a time, and that's not 20 minutes multiple times a day or even multiple times a week...so what's the point?
I do need to give more serious response to the reality that God is in control and that my life is not going to get better by enhancing my utility belt.
I sometimes wonder what a guy who gives God 10% of his income and gains wealth because of it really gains. Obviously, he gains an ability to give God more money, but what does the rest of it mean? Jesus himself warned of doom to those who are well fed. I'm guessing that's an abridged version of the words that came out of Jesus' mouth, which are lost in the wind like everything else spoken before the dawn of recording devices, but unless that is to be taken at face value, I can't help but think of how God reacted when the Israelites insisted upon having a human as their king instead of God as king. God wasn't happy about it, but He found peace with their wishes and did what He could to make the best of it, even though they didn't hold up with their end of the bargain.
Monday, April 25, 2016
It's called fiction, Sir Palahniuk
Was looking at the summary of this book by Stewart O' Nan titled A PRAYER FOR THE DYING. In the marketing, FIGHT CLUB author Chuck Palahniuk is quoted as saying the book is proof that God is unfair. I'd sure like to know how a fiction book proves anything. Stewart O' Nan may have been writing about someone he knew, but that's the problem with second hand information. People hear little snippets of The Bible and get these ideas that aren't even Biblical.
If you don't believe The Bible was written by an existing presence, then you have no reason to question it. I tried telling a friend on Facebook this and he defended his stance by talking about how Christianity and its offshoot religions are the main reason for large amounts of violence in the world. One could say that, but what about the people who go speeding down the freeway and end up running into another car and kill at least one person? Where does religion play into that? Jealous husbands and wives murdering their spouse? That's the least of all violence by the way. Death is not the end. The horror of this planet is seldom seen outside of shows like CRIMINAL MINDS. A person who is not only murdered, but severely tortured with the threat of death to top if off is a much bigger victim than someone who is beheaded or gunned to death.
Jesus gave a perfect recipe for peace on Earth. If people would follow it, we'd have Heaven already. We should all be glad that we all have the option of choosing Heaven instead of questioning the reality of the supernatural and weather or not God is just in his decisions and all these tiny distractions that lead nowhere.
If you don't believe The Bible was written by an existing presence, then you have no reason to question it. I tried telling a friend on Facebook this and he defended his stance by talking about how Christianity and its offshoot religions are the main reason for large amounts of violence in the world. One could say that, but what about the people who go speeding down the freeway and end up running into another car and kill at least one person? Where does religion play into that? Jealous husbands and wives murdering their spouse? That's the least of all violence by the way. Death is not the end. The horror of this planet is seldom seen outside of shows like CRIMINAL MINDS. A person who is not only murdered, but severely tortured with the threat of death to top if off is a much bigger victim than someone who is beheaded or gunned to death.
Jesus gave a perfect recipe for peace on Earth. If people would follow it, we'd have Heaven already. We should all be glad that we all have the option of choosing Heaven instead of questioning the reality of the supernatural and weather or not God is just in his decisions and all these tiny distractions that lead nowhere.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
MA MAN, YO, ARMIDILLO NEWTON....
Spent 6pm-12am NOT feeding my cat, and scrambling to get this that and a handful of piddly other things done; switching between tabs in a race against time that can not be won...
Finally fed her. She probably feels like I do, like someone kicked her in the stomach. Man is not meant to be awake 8+ hours after dinner. You ever get fixated on a goal and find the stress of that fixation makes reaching or finding that goal has made you too sick to enjoy it?
I've been awake since 3:30 A.M. I finally took Thursday's Abilify and Cymbalta, apprx half an hour ago. It was past the deadline just barely. I'll have to remember to take my pills at around 4pm or so. It's not good to take two days' worth of medicine doses back to back. 14-32 hours is an okay interval. It's an accomplishment of sorts for me to take my pills 3 days in a row. It would be a case of possession for me to take my pills 3 days in a row at the same time each of those 3 days.
I'm back on the computer. Was certain there was some group of songs I wanted to listen to. Cannot for the life of me remember what it was I wanted to do so badly.
Finally fed her. She probably feels like I do, like someone kicked her in the stomach. Man is not meant to be awake 8+ hours after dinner. You ever get fixated on a goal and find the stress of that fixation makes reaching or finding that goal has made you too sick to enjoy it?
I've been awake since 3:30 A.M. I finally took Thursday's Abilify and Cymbalta, apprx half an hour ago. It was past the deadline just barely. I'll have to remember to take my pills at around 4pm or so. It's not good to take two days' worth of medicine doses back to back. 14-32 hours is an okay interval. It's an accomplishment of sorts for me to take my pills 3 days in a row. It would be a case of possession for me to take my pills 3 days in a row at the same time each of those 3 days.
I'm back on the computer. Was certain there was some group of songs I wanted to listen to. Cannot for the life of me remember what it was I wanted to do so badly.
Semantic decibel worship
Just sent my sis a typo
I will my reg $ to pay 1/2 of the lwnmwr. Hopefully Mom can cover at least half of that and my savings will cover "the rest" (whatever that ends up being)"
Did I really just say that?
I WILL MY REG. $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
(sprinkle Holy water)
I WILL MY REG $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
MY WILL COMPELS IT
MY WILL COMPELS IT
Thanks to spellchecking software, I now know "compel" is not spelled with two Ls. I'm pretty sure since the "L" is not "possessed", I can rest in peace regarding my lack of an apostrophe....
See you on the other side.
I will my reg $ to pay 1/2 of the lwnmwr. Hopefully Mom can cover at least half of that and my savings will cover "the rest" (whatever that ends up being)"
Did I really just say that?
I WILL MY REG. $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
(sprinkle Holy water)
I WILL MY REG $ TO PAY HALF OF THE LAWNMOWER
MY WILL COMPELS IT
MY WILL COMPELS IT
Thanks to spellchecking software, I now know "compel" is not spelled with two Ls. I'm pretty sure since the "L" is not "possessed", I can rest in peace regarding my lack of an apostrophe....
See you on the other side.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
The value of liquiation
Was reading about the Koch brothers and their supposed plans to let the poor people get sick and die off so they can enjoy their tea parties and golf tournaments w/o distraction.
That may very well be what the Koch brothers want. I cannot say what they want any more so than they can say what I want. If everybody cared about each other and put love and compassion for their fellow man before blind ambition, i.e.: money and/or power, then minimum wage being abolished would of no negative consequence. If The Devil walked up to you, would you smile politely and let it shake your hand? Likewise, people who rejoice in evil should not be elected into office, regardless of their political affiliation. The fact of the matter is both Bernie Sanders and the Koch brothers-funded Republicans are both more concerned with money and power less with the real problems that face the USA.
The perceived problem with having the Koch brothers funding congress is not something anybody is immune to. The vast majority of USA citizens would not wage war on the poor. But that is only because if they spent every waking minute from birth to death squeezing as many dollars as they can from their employer, their work would still not be finished. Their bones would be buried and hunger will continue to haunt them. The Koch brothers have more money than they can count. They have the freedom to say "Ok, What now?" They have what every human on the face of the earth wants, they have shiny pretty things and the guarantee that the most comfortable bed money can buy will not be repossessed. Now what? What does one do when their life's work is finished before they're halfway in the grave? Do they turn their back on their amazing house and bounty of pretty things so they can work in a soup kitchen or fly over ghettos with their private jet and assess which homes need food and how much food they need?
Very few people work 8+ hours a day for the purpose of anything other than acquiring an arsenal of stuff. The Koch Bros. have stuff. They have mental and physical health and they have all the stuff they can imagine wanting AND extra to give to their great grandchildren. They have moved on from the rat race and are now focused on something equally pointless and gigantic in scope: World Domination.
It's about power. All of it. The rat race, even the participants who eat from the backend of it, have one thing and one thing only in mind: Power. Call it a man-cave, call it freedom of choice, call it "my house my rules", it all amounts to the same thing: Conquering. It may not be conquering much, but it's still conquering.
I don't know nearly as much about the presidential front runners as I ought to, but I know the likelyhood that anyone running for the high offices is doing so primarily with intent to help other people, be it inside or outside of "America"(The United States Of).
That may very well be what the Koch brothers want. I cannot say what they want any more so than they can say what I want. If everybody cared about each other and put love and compassion for their fellow man before blind ambition, i.e.: money and/or power, then minimum wage being abolished would of no negative consequence. If The Devil walked up to you, would you smile politely and let it shake your hand? Likewise, people who rejoice in evil should not be elected into office, regardless of their political affiliation. The fact of the matter is both Bernie Sanders and the Koch brothers-funded Republicans are both more concerned with money and power less with the real problems that face the USA.
The perceived problem with having the Koch brothers funding congress is not something anybody is immune to. The vast majority of USA citizens would not wage war on the poor. But that is only because if they spent every waking minute from birth to death squeezing as many dollars as they can from their employer, their work would still not be finished. Their bones would be buried and hunger will continue to haunt them. The Koch brothers have more money than they can count. They have the freedom to say "Ok, What now?" They have what every human on the face of the earth wants, they have shiny pretty things and the guarantee that the most comfortable bed money can buy will not be repossessed. Now what? What does one do when their life's work is finished before they're halfway in the grave? Do they turn their back on their amazing house and bounty of pretty things so they can work in a soup kitchen or fly over ghettos with their private jet and assess which homes need food and how much food they need?
Very few people work 8+ hours a day for the purpose of anything other than acquiring an arsenal of stuff. The Koch Bros. have stuff. They have mental and physical health and they have all the stuff they can imagine wanting AND extra to give to their great grandchildren. They have moved on from the rat race and are now focused on something equally pointless and gigantic in scope: World Domination.
It's about power. All of it. The rat race, even the participants who eat from the backend of it, have one thing and one thing only in mind: Power. Call it a man-cave, call it freedom of choice, call it "my house my rules", it all amounts to the same thing: Conquering. It may not be conquering much, but it's still conquering.
I don't know nearly as much about the presidential front runners as I ought to, but I know the likelyhood that anyone running for the high offices is doing so primarily with intent to help other people, be it inside or outside of "America"(The United States Of).
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