Watcher Of The Skies

The End Is Near.  No, this time it's real.  Countries will cease to loan us money and if you're not REALLY good at your job, chances are you will be scrounging for food from the dumpsters and sleeping on concrete and "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" will just be something you tell yourself so you're not TOTALLY without music...at least it'll be live.

As for me, my sister is currently my landlord and I think if I add an extra $75 to what is currently being paid on her mortgage, I can at least have a semi-decent bed to sleep on.  Just no music (no electricity)...unless you count the mumbo-jumbo I sing to myself in the shower as "music"...there will be nothing to spend my days doing...which I guess is not a huge departure from how I live now...when you think about it, no electricity will only magnify the meaninglessness in my existence...so things won't change, they'll just be more noticeable...

And The Bible states that financial prosperity's end and war's rising will lead the antichrist to step up and erase it all.  But Jesus will ultimately win and everyone will die like they have been, and when they do, most of them will go to Hell, like they always have.  Stupidity doesn't pay.  Luckily, even though I'm borderline illiterate, my mother has told me most of what I need to know.  I don't know if any of that will matter though.  I still do not feel the inclination to bow and worship God.  And,  I don't really know what Love is, but I certainly do not feel any connection to God, at least not that I'm aware of.  I guess that's probably b/c I'm not "open" to it...how do I change that?  Heck if I know.  Maybe I could go through the motions of prayer, and hope I don't feel like too much of a poser to take myself seriously...

I've been listening to as much music as ever.  But I just recently came to the realization that very little of it has any real meaning to me.  Most of it is just noise.  Sometimes I zoom in on parts of it and feel a faint pang of emotion.

I finally heard Breaking Benjamin's 2002 CD SATURATE in full.  I don't know what stopped me from doing that almost 5 years ago, or ten years...I did the same thing with Cartel's CHROMA (2005) (except the time in between the release date and me listening to it was 2/3 less).  I almost listened to The Cure's DISINTEGRATION (1989), but I felt extremely cold, so I turned off the computer, went to bed, could not sleep, so I got up and ate a 2nd lunch and then three apples w/ peanut butter.  I think I ate no more than 4 servings of peanut butter, which is almost as much fat as I am allowed to eat and still maintain my weight.  Yesterday I ate no more than 20 grams of fat, which is less than 1/3 of the 100% daily recommended value.  Friday I ate a whole whopping gram of trans fat wrapped in two delicious brownies, which I paid $1.50 total for.  And I had a whole Domino's pizza earlier in the week.
Right now I'm listening to Genesis's FOXTROT (1972).
I have an American Red Cross blood donation appointment sometime this week.  I cannot remember what day or time it is/was.  I had to reschedule b/c I had a fever and then I thought I still had one a week later, so I just didn't show up, and then I didn't reschedule until they called a few days ago or so, and then i had to reschedule that one, b/c I couldn't get a ride.  Now I forgot what time/date it is/was...aaarg!  I should have donated in early-mid January b/c it was like late October or early November when I last donated...I hope I'm not still feverish whenever I get my tail over there.