If I haven't told you lately....

 A counseler asked me what I would say if God asked me why I "should" be in Heaven.
I answered "I would say 'If you don't want me here, I understand".

To me, such a question sounds sarcastic.  The truth IS God did promise believers eternal life.  How that relates to me, I don't know, really.  I *think* I believe...but do I?  Or do I believe but not "the right way"?  People keep comparing intellectual knowledge of God to the knowledge the demons have.  As if whoever included that quip was telling the audience about their eternal damnation.  Maybe they were. In Paul's letter to the Roman Christians, he tells them about not being diligent to pursue Holiness and says "don't you know you are storing up wrath for yourselves on the day of judgement?".  Again, up until this morning, I often read that as him talking to potential non believers in the room, but he introduces the letter saying something to the effect of "To The Christians at Rome who I have such an appreciation for because of your faith"  That certainly sounds far from the eternal Hell that one would infer Paul is promising by talking about "The Day of Judgement".  I don't think I deserve Heaven.  I know I wouldn't even if I was pursuing with full diligence the path to Holiness.  Mankind, in its current state, is simply not compatible with God.  In our path to new creature-hood, we still aren't compatible with God, even though we're closer to it.  I myself am maybe just a hair closer to compatibility with God than I was 10 years ago.  I would not have any reason to curse God if He sent me to Hell for 100 years.  Maybe not "Hell".  Apparently there's strong indications in The Word that one cannot go to Hell and then come out of it.  I don't recall reading any, but I'm not very well read on scripture. there being a lot of it I simply don't understand like I perhaps should.  So maybe the wrong words are coming into this page, but I don't think it's impossible for God to give someone a huge ass whipping before letting them enter Heaven.  

Anyway.
I probably have more to say on these matters, but I'm coming up to a blank and...idk.