so much waste

 I keep thinking "I need to quit wasting time!" but then I'm shot with the sad reality that everything I perceive as "good" ultimately IS a waste of time and anything that ISN'T a waste of time, while I agree is good, is either far too cumbersome to carry out or is not attainable either due to material resources that I lack or simply a lack of knowledge.
Daily Bible reading is a little bit of a challenge, but more so than that is the KEEPING HIS WORD in my heart, which requires multiple trips into His Word.  Most people have a reasonable excuse for not being in His Word throughout the day, but I am literally doing nothing except an occasional good deed (like this afternoon for instance I'm helping distribute food to the poor) or blissing out to music or outright sinning (see yesterday's entry) or reading His Word.  Then there's a huge chunk of time I spend trying to either bliss out or sin, and I end up doing a little bit of both, and compound the matter of waste into all the worse.

Ug.