YOU KNOW!

The pastor somehow got the idea that if the congregation stepped up their game in pursuing God, his sermons would improve.  He said it was a fact.  He didn't say how he came to that conclusion.  But it seems his preaching has improved.  It started on Easter, the end of Lint.  It's continued today.  I really feel like he's dispensing practical and encouraging information.  I'm starting to piece together, albeit loosely still, why I fail and where I can improve.  Today he said repentance is when you "get real" and see your sins as an offense to God and out of sorrow "change your mind" (I'm not sure if he attempted to explain "change your mind"...I might've gotten too busy thinking over what he'd already said to pay attn to what he was continuing to say......it happens).  he also differentiated between "worldly sorrow" and "Godly sorrow"...The descriptions he gave for the two kinds of sorrow, neither of them really fit the kind of sorrow I feel, which may be a symptom of "a divided heart", and of course "get real" is a thing I have trouble with.  I can't even explain how I know this and live it every day.  It's not intentional.  It's like my eyes are physically honey ham glazed and if I think too hard about it, I just fall asleep.  Ugh.
I'll just have to keep on keepin' on and hope for the best.  As the pastor emphasized on Easter -- it's out of my hands.

OH -- speaking of last Sunday's sermon...(??)
@ my last blog post --- the end of it ------- I got a confirmation @ "Verse Of The Day" from Bible Gateway
     (Or BibleHub...not sure which it is that delivers those; they don't say anywhere on the email, it just comes from a service that one of those two co's offer called "YouVersion")
   
Basically it talks about there being no greater love than to lay down one's life for his brothers and sisters.

Alright.  Got a moving vehicle to try and catch.  Later.  Na, j/k, but....I think that sums up this week.  Idk.  I guess I could talk about what music I've been listening to and such.

I've been going through my CD collection a bit the past few days.
Spotify on my phone I've noticed doesn't allow one to listen to albums.  I don't know if that was a feature that I was once able to use but was deactivated or what.  I have to sign up to Premium to do that, and I don't have enough money to be wasting on that.
I convinced my sister to loan me my half of $60 to buy my mom something for mother's day  Turns out it doesn't do squat.  It was used from some garbage collector.  He insists it worked when it was last used, whenever that was.  The guy openly contradicts himself, as if to avoid being sued.  Idk.
Anyway, so now I owe my sister $30.  Plus my half.  $60!  $30 was a little tough, but...rrg.  I found a cool combination of FOUR items @ Amazon that would make a nice pkg to rcv in my mail box, but I'm seriously going to need to QUIT BUYING STUFF!  I already overspent on my CC, partly to pay off some of what I owe my sister and partly to take advantage of this deal on Swagbucks.  I'm supposed to get 850 points ($8.50 in gift card, basically -- altough Swagbucks doesn't offer an $8.50 denomination for any of their available gift cards, which is fine b/c you can easily earn Swagbucks by simply doing internet searchs for x and y and sometimes z) for a purchase that, in my case, amounted to $9.30 with tax.  So I basically spent $9.30 and will at some point get $8.50 of that back, so I'm "out" $0.80 and I'm "in" the products I bought, which are wood cleaner and wood polisher.  By PLEDGE no less (!)  I don't know why they were offering that incentive, but they were.  I guess with the recent real estate boom, they figured people with wood furnishings need to realize what they've been doing NOT USING(!) PLEDGE wood polisher and cleaner.  Maybe....it's just a hypothesis, not like I've researched the matter....
anyway.
My sister gave me steak for an early dinner.  I apologized to my mom that I was not quite willing to share it with her and she told me "You know, it would have been better if you just hadn't told me anything about it."  She makes a good point.  Yet another sin I must ask God to cleanse me of.  I don't know if he'll take away the guilt associated with it.....sucks when that happens.  She sounded really saddened by her absense of steak.  I really wish I had shared it with her.......but...she gets loaded baked potato for dinner and I do not because I'm freakin' weird and don't like potatoes.  It's a weirdness my mom and I do not have in common.  So, not quite a steak......but....what would I eat for dinner other than PB&J sandwiches or pancakes if I had parted with the two small pieces of steak?  I mean, it's still not really "dinner time", but......idk.... igh.

Aaanyway
So..............
Hmm....
ugh....I'm seriously drawing a blank...seems like I had more to say but I can't think of what it is.  Ayg.  I swear, I was on my way to saying something before I started talking about steak, maybe...i guess it wasn't important. 
(pffff)
Ok, I'm done for now.  Might come back and edit this, or post something today in addition - separate - from this.  GGGG
~xx